WHO IS SASHA FIERCE?

November 27th, 2008

beyonce

I just read an article about how BeYONCE needs to create an alter-ego in order for her to perform some of her more risque dance routines and pop tunes. I’ve called out BeYONCE previously for also employing this gimmick, despite the fact that I use a pen name to write my column at XXL .

What I knew, yet didn’t acknowledge is that the white hot glare of the public stare can become discomforting. Alter-egos are necessary personas when we have something to say that may offend some of the folks that we are close to, or we consider friends.

Some of my favorite (and not so much) artists have shifted through their alter-egos so deftly that you feel like you know them personally. REGGIE NOBLE has Redman, MARSHALL MATHERS has Eminem as well as Slim Shady and even T.I. has Tip and some dude named CLIFFORD who got pinched by the Feds for having a cache of undisclosed military weapons.

BeYONCE uses SASHA FIERCE though in a way that only these artists could dream of. While BeYONCE is determined to maintain a visage that will surely translate to gospel music the second her pop music career hit the skids she needs an outlet to sell her sexuality and her reedonkulous badonkey donk. BeYONCE is pimping… Herself.

beyonce

While Ms.KNOWLES (CARTER?!?) still attends missionary committee luncheons at the Mt. Carmel Baptist Church while SASHA FIERCE walks the streets at night to tease the boys with her milkshake. Only teasing is allowed though since the last time she was documented to have had relations she wound up pregnant in Houston.

BeYONCE has managed to do what no one before her could execute properly. She has removed sex from sexuality. It’s all just posing, shaking and strutting. There is no penetration. There is not even enough time for foreplay. At the end of the day this detachment is what may do her in. The pop music world had a chameleon that shifted shapes as often as she changed her hair color. That was Madonna.

But even Madonna got it in early in often. Who remembers the circular door that she had in her bedroom? You can’t get to the top and stay clean. You have to have some dirt under your nails. I’m not talking about the fake drunk episode either. I’m talking about real scandal. It is when she is brought to her knees that she will be embraced even more vigorously by the public. That is when she will transform from the robot into the human.

beyonce

Just Like Old Times…

November 26th, 2008

the fam

It feels like my whole fam has migrated from NYC to ATL. Nay-Nay, Uncle Drunk, Smoogie, Dontravius… Everybody.

I never understand why Black folks always let themselves be presented as homophobes in the media. We don’t hate anybody. Thanksgiving dinner is the proof of that.

Everyone gets a seat at the family table. My gay cousin. My junkie aunt. My white uncle. My cleptomaniac brother. Everybody.

Enjoy your family party people, or not. You only get one. Unless you get married. And then hopefully the in-laws don’t become the outlaws.

FATED >>> FADED

November 25th, 2008

faded
imagery = VeE

Welcome 2 Heartbreak

So by the time you read this drop I will be at my day job after another night of not sleeping in order to churn out drops on this site and a column for the evil empire.

*If anyone catches me on the Twitter or G-Chat this week at 5am please call Blackwater and tell them to come kill me.

What the hell am I fading my ass for? Seriously? Meanwhile I am waiting at the mailbox for my September check like a fucking derelict crackhead.

I definitely appreciate the time you all take to come here and talk shit with me, but if I wasn’t on these interwebs y’all still would be. My problem is that I have been competing for your attention with the entire internets. I’m never gonna win that fight. As a matter of fact, I’ve started to lose seriously. My health is fucked the fuck up. I’m about to put the die in diet. I’ve got to get my shit back together again.

Hopefully the trip to Atlanta will help me find my center again. The first thing I decided to do for myself was to leave my BlacBook at the crib. I have a PC in mom’s basement anyhoo, but the fact that I haven’t turned this laptop off in several months means there is some psychological shit at work on my brain. Separation anxiety has prA’li already set in for me knowing that I will be without my favorite tool [ll] for a week.

I will still up some fresh new content to the page for all you hardbody DP Dot Com readers like ERNIE. Who can cajol me in one sentence, compliment in yet another one before finally cursing me out. Thanks ERNIE. This fanboy video is for you…

I was fucking with the ‘Love Lockdown’ track from the jump. Shit reminded me of Marshall Jefferson’s ‘Move Your Body’. That reminded me of after-hours nightspots in NYC and all the pretty ladies in biker shorts that I jacked my body with.

My final pitch for the ‘808s & Heartbreak’ album is for you all to understand that at the end of the day Hip-Hop music is the expression of soul using the first two instruments – the drum and the voice. The 808 drum machine contains a myriad number of artificial drum sounds which not only imitate the drum but elevate the instrument.

The auto-tune vocal pitch corrector, or vocoder for those of you like myself who don’t give a fuck allows the human to become a woodwind or horn based instrument. What is freaky about this is the fact that horns, flutes and woodwinds were designed to imitate the voices of animals. Back to the future themes are all around us.

The album ‘808s & Heartbreak’ is totally Hip-Hop. It is a celebration of the drum and the voice. Alpha and Omega bitches.

Imagine the chemical act of transforming a solid object into liquid form, then crystallizing that liquid. Now crush those crystals into a fine dust and sprinkle that dust onto your Cuban sandwich.

It’s 5 fucking a.m. and my ass is faded.

Kanye West is fated.

PIRATES OF THE COMMERCIAL BANKING SYSTEM…

November 25th, 2008

pirate

How in the hell did CitiBank just come up in the game like that? Was it like “Boo hoo, our pockets is flat.” Or was it like, “G’z up! This is a jack move sonn!” I would prA’li expect the latter. You don’t get billions of dollars on some bitchmade whiny boy bullshit. Look what that got General Motors. Nathan. And not even a Coney Island frankfurter.

You might imagine that in some back room in the Capitol building Congressmen are being held up by their ankles and punched in their guts by Blackwater mercenaries hired by Citibank. Nahh, it’s more like dudes are catching the love love on some tri-lateral pyramid kickback scheme that is so convoluted and complicated that I couldn’t even begin to break it down for y’all.

Not that I’d want Blackwater mercenaries, er, contractors kicking in my door anyhoo.

Full Disclosure: My co-op’s mortgage is through CitiBank. I’m secretly hoping I can stop paying this shit as part of the bailout plan.

Stays Fiending Uncontrollably…

November 25th, 2008

sfu

This was the S.F.U. crew in full effect on Fordham Road.

GRRL ZOEY took the shot so you don’t see her though.

sfu voltron

Forming Voltron.

Why does Nattiez have the wrong foot in the cipher? Good thing he is repping the Untold Truth.

The date for the December S.F.U. run is still the 20th unless enough heads push it back like the Detox album.

December 27th?

or

January 3rd?

I can’t call it else I might spoil it.

Peep these recent acquisitions…

croatia

Dunk Hi Premium – Croatia a/k/a DRAZEN P’s
They should have never told me these joints were made to rep the Croatian national team. Them dudes is like the Golden State Warriors of the Caucasus Mountains.

$50 @ A.Jays – 8th Avenue & 36th Street

ponyboy

Dunk Lo Premium – Ponyboy Outsiders
The true story is that this classic coming of age tale by S.E. HINTON has two main characters that bear my government name and the name my family uses for me. No wonder I ended up in a gang, er, youth collective.

$40 @ Dr.JAY’s – Fulton Street, Brooklyn

premi blue

premi orange

Dunk Hi Premium
These joints are the high top versions of the Ponyboys. The upper has suede, premium leather, patined leather and a faux ponyskin material on the heel area. The insoles feature a Zoom Air unit.

They are being reduced at various stores and I want to copp at least one pair for about $40. That should be the going rate if not cheaper for the next S.F.U. NYC Tour. In the meantime I will continue to scout some new locations for us to fall through as well as some different styles that I see going up on clearance.

DP stays telling the truth to the youth…

S.F.U. on YouTube – Deadstock Dallas