The Coldest Winter Evar…

November 20th, 2008

808s

808’s & Heartbreak IS a classic.

I’m going to go way out on a limb right here and say that ‘808’s & Heartbreak’ is the best album of 2008. It will be the one album that we all remember from this year. I’ve already forgotten about the so-called ‘Nigger’ album and the Roots ‘Rising Down’. Are the Roots still a band? I know that ?uestlove has a sneaker, deejays all over the place and loves to fucks with Twitter. Even Lil’ Wayne, who has sold nearly three million copies of the ‘Carter III’ will be eclipsed by the latest offering from ‘Ye Tudda West.

Does anyone make real shit anymore?

I’m not going to act like I have heard the entire album. I’ve heard all the joints that most of you have heard. The intro to Heartbreak, the joint with Jeezy, the joint with Weezy, the joint with Kid Cudeezy. See now, aren’t you glad that trend hasn’t taken hold where we call everyone “eezy” at the back of their names? Everyone is pitching a bitch because the vocal pitch is altered but no one is really listening to the tone, just the autotune.

KanYe is on this album yelling and throwing figurative furniture around the studio. This album is his catharsis for losing the one chick in the world that he could trust. The one broad he ever knew that wasn’t trying to get into his pockets, that wasn’t using him to get close to Jay-Z, Dame, or even that nigga Plain Pat.

Plain Pat what up?

I wonder what kind of pain KanYe experienced when he was young and his parents split up? That shit is hardbody. Big ups to all the dead end kids who find themselves in that emotional purgatory place you go to when your parents go their separate ways. Some of y’all have never known your parents as a family unit. For some of y’all it was always a situation where you went to your father’s crib on weekends or to your father’s mother’s crib if your father was a fuck up. It’s a crazy dynamic if that shit happens when you are still in that cartoon comicbook age and wearing underoos when your dad walks out the door.

Kids blame their parents and kids blame themselves. Truth is that America hates families and America eats the young. The album ‘808’s & Heatbreak’ was being written when KanYe’s parents split up. This album is on some raw emotional shit that I wish everybody would do. D.M.X. was the only rapper that I feel like wouldn’t hold back his feelings to get his point across. That nigga wouldn’t give a fuck what anyone said about him. He would smoke his crack, cry, pray to GOD, and then bark at the moon. That nigga was crazy. Everyone is too cool for fucking school. That shit is boring to me now.

I was just reading (I know, sooooo not Hip-Hop) the Spike Lee auto-bio and he talked about losing his mom to cancer while he was still in college. After that moment he had the courage to pick up a Super 8 camera. He always knew that he wanted to make films, but after his mom died he knew he HAD to make films. He found a courage to let his vision be set free. I think KanYe experienced the same feeling when he crossed this threshold in his life. The courage to trust everything in his mind that his mom had imbued to him. Losing your mother is the most hardbody emotional shit evar. Nothing in this world can happen to you worse than that. And then when you get up off the ground after crying your eyes out you realize that you are taller, stronger, harder. No one can tell you nothing.

‘Graduation’ was the prequel to 808’s just like that victory ceremony in Episode 4 was the prequel to that battle on the planet Hoth. That was a cold fucking winter. This will be the coldest winter evar.

In a few years some of y’all will use this album to help you work out of your coldest winter. Don’t act like your big homey Billy X. Sunday didn’t tell you the fucking deal. For a nigga to make a song that would make me fuck with Wayne is an achievement. Maestro did it with ‘3-Peat’. Now KanYe does it with ‘C U In My Nightmares’.

I’m not sure which listenership is futuristic enough to embrace this album. It deals with loss on such a level that even I can’t fully understand. When my dad died I thought about all the things that he had done for me to get to the point where I could control my destiny (true story is that he hated that I wanted to be a writer instead of an architect) and how much sacrifice both my parents made for me to pursue my dreams. That’s why I fucks with ‘808’s & Heartbreaks’.

This shit is a dedication to all of those that help us get out our dreams.

DP Dot Com Man-Crush 3.0: GEORGIE POORGIE

November 20th, 2008

carlin

GEORGE CARLIN was always my hero. He inspired me to make being a class clown my lifelong profession. But more than being a fool CARLIN was every bit the foole. The court jester who spoke truth to power and told the court that the king had no underpants on.

CARLIN knew that he could get away with some shit that PRYOR couldn’t. CARLIN didn’t give a fuck either. Maybe he gave too much of a fuck.

You need to listen to these rants with your headphones on.

Sonn goes in!


Airport Security


Stupid Things We Say


Euphemisms


Capital Punishment

BABY GOT BACK?!?

November 18th, 2008

michelle obama

Thanks to MICHELLE OBAMA, the seat is finally acknowledged as the seat of power.

First Lady Got Back

The Association: FreeDarko Is Macrophenomenal…

November 18th, 2008

free darko

FreeDarko.com has transformed roundball viewing into the sweet science of spectation.

Was basketball ever this intuitive and wordy prior to this website?

No.

It was mostly just people making bounce passes in tight pants.

As I await my recently purchased FreeDarko tees in the mail I am also excited to see the authors from the only basketball website in the world will be reading excepts from their newly released tome on the scientific art of hardwood dancing in my town.

The Macrophenomenal Pro Basketball Almanac:
Styles, Stats, and Stars in Today’s Game

12.04.08
Varsity Letters Reading Series
Happy Ending Lounge
302 Broome St., NYC
8 p.m.

Down, But Not Out…

November 18th, 2008

broke down

For the last six months since my cable service has been, er, inactive, I have used the wireless signal from my neighbor’s apartment. That signal is now more less than it is wireless.

Either I pay my bills or I go back to computer labs and libraries.