Archive for November, 2005

CARTOON NETWORK’s Funniest Show Is…

Sunday, November 27th, 2005



STROKER and HOOP is some outrageous shizzle. Last week’s episode featured the dimwitted detectives acting as bodyguards for a notorious rapper named, M.C. HOMICIDAL RAPIST. When the rapper’s home is infiltrated during a high class party and his safe is broken into with some very controversial videotapes, STROKER and HOOP are on the case.

Well, sort of.

The writing for the show is frugging hilarious and until the BOONDOCKS gets funny this will be the real reason that I tune into Adult Swim on Sunday nites.

Oh yeah, SQUIDBILLIES is some reederkulezz shiite too.


Saturday, November 26th, 2005


…one of my favorite individual artists, next to GHOSTFACE and RAEKWON. His concert from two summers ago still has got crappers like 50CENT tight.

He did a recent interview with Scratch Magazine in which he appears to be ready to shake off the ‘Best M.C. that can’t speak clearly” title. I say, “Good for NAS!” since he is married to this broad.


Friday, November 25th, 2005


SYLVESTER Opens Orphanage On Chicago’s SouthSide

Friday, November 25th, 2005


The State of Illinois is one of many places where you will do some serious time for molesting a child, but only if the kid is a stranger to you. Let’s say that the kid you ‘mezzle’ is your son or daughter; in that case you could be sent home from jail with only a small fine. The penalty is reduced from a Classs ‘B’ felony all the way down to a Class ‘E’ felony, which is just about equal to a misdemeanor.

Now there is no doubt that from an emotional standpoint, the crime is way more heinous when it is committed by a family member because that is the person the victim is closest to and trusts the most; the victim is often dependent upon him or her for survival and protection. Alas, state law does not follow our emotional logic. The state law was enacted with an eye on preventing the prosecution of inter-familial relations, or what most of us would regard as ‘kissing cousins’.

Several months ago, the staff here at the website devised a way to keep our favorite rhythm and blues performer out of handcuffs and in the studio, so that he might be free to finish crafting the complete saga of his ‘Trapped in the Closet’ masterpiece. All SYLVESTER has to do is adopt and then he goes from being a rapist to, say, an incest provider (we’re not exactly sure what the term is but it sounds official).

Anyhoo. Incest is way cooler than rape.


Friday, November 25th, 2005