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I wanted to let CLETUS the fetus do a review of this film, but after he submitted his paperwork on ‘The Inside Man’ and the utter abortion that was ‘Killa Season’ I thought better than having some Christian conservatives target this site. Not that we’re scared of them, but I just spent the whole weekend working out spam issues and we don’t need to have a group of people with nothing but time on their hands on our azzes (nullus).

Just as an aside, movie blockbuster wise, did you know that TOM CRUISE ate the placenta from his wife’s uterus!?!? How is this guy not in jail yet?

X-MEN 3 was everything that I hoped it would be. It was thrilling and suspenseful. The action scenes were on an adult level, yet still acceptable for younger viewers(not kids under twelve, but who other than jigs brings a 6yr old to an ‘R’ rated movie?). Because this is Hollywood I understand that it isn’t possible for them to maintain 100% fidelity to the comic series and they haven’t done too bad a job. I have complained about casting for some of the characters but that has been my biggest sticking point. The fact that the original five X-Men don’t appear in the cinema series until this episode hasn’t bothered me either. The X-Men franchise has a wealth of characters with interwoven storylines that it makes for an excellent film whenever the writing team is on point.

The team that Marvel conscripted to deliver this film was good. They weren’t great, like the Spider-Man team was, but they weren’t as flat as the Hulk or Daredevil team. And the Daredevil team had arguably the best storyline to work with when you consider the emotion contained in the ELEKTRA saga. With all that said they did an admirable job in keeping the franchise alive for additional sequels without leaving you hanging too badly in this one. New heroes make their appearances as do new villains. You can best believe that I shouted out in the theatre the line, “I’m the Juggernaut, biiiitch!” at the appropriate time. I still can’t believe that the writers had worked that line in for the character. The power of the internets is a beautiful thing.

The few issues I had with the film won’t give away any spoilers for those of you that haven’t seen the flick yet. No Cyclops and no Nightcrawler?!? WTF? The Beast made up for the fuzzy blue mutant contingent, but there was no inference of his backstory with the X-Men. The costumes were still boring as all hell with our merry mutants still clad in black leather like a motorcycle gang. Queer crappers SHAM’ROCK and KANGAY have made pink and pastel yellow acceptable for mainstream consumers. I think our superheroes should be reflective of society’s changing morays.

The theatre ran a preview of the new ‘Superman’ film and guess who is as teh ghey as ever? He even still has that faggoty spit curl.