AHMADENIJAD Aint Really Bad… (RAFI’s Re-Up)

whos bad?!?

This past week in NYC was a global politics junkies stinky sulfur drenched wet dream. The Devil, the Mexican and the Arab all made headlines during their visits to the United Nations.

Despite showing some good ‘ol American marketing saavy Iran’s president can’t seem to get a break from the T.I. run media outlets. I mean it’s not that he hates the Jews, he just hates the hearts that beat inside of the Jews chest cavities. As bad as an AHMADENIJAD might seem he is still a far cry away from being ADOLF HITLER. My problem with all these despots being equated with HITLER is that I think that devalues the truly baddazz-ness that ADOLF HITLER had. Until you have at least a million dead people on your resume you shouldn’t even be considered for a B.M.F.O.A.T. award.

Here’s the top five on my list of Baddest Motherfuckers Of All Time.

IOSIF VISSARIONOVICH DZHUGASHVILI
I know what your’e thinking. Who the fuck is this guy? This is a mugshot of your boy JOE STALIN. It looks like the Russians knew he was a bad seed from the gate, but they let him slip through the cracks in an upward trajectory. SADDAM HUSSEIN was a cheap, post-cold war STALIN. The amount of Kurds that HUSSEIN killed was a pittance when you match him up next to STALIN’s genocidal tendencies.
steel

fdr FRANKLIN ROOSEVELT
Respect this man’s badazz pedigree for not letting a debilitating nerve disease stop him from committing mass murder via the Manhattan Project. It turns out the military was closing in on defeating the Japanese before the nukes were dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. In hindsight, the real bomb was dropped on the American manufacturing model as we now drive Japanese cars, watch Japanese television sets and fetish over exorbitantly priced Japanese tennis shoes.

ADOLF HITLER
The mainstream media consensus gold standard for despots, tyrants and just all around bad azz motherfuckers. I’ve never really given HITLER credit either for his sartorial sensibilities. Peep the Nazi insignia jacket buttons. ADOLF thought that being a fierce and cunning leader meant that he had to be a fierce cunt. How you doin’ HITLER?!?
adolf

mike piazza DARK PHOENIX
Speaking of fierce cunts… We’ve talked before about the Dark Phoenix and how she killed off a planet by causing it’s star to go supernova. She gets extra bad azz points for continuously killing herself and coming back to life in another storyline. Hey, she is called the Phoenix.

vader

DARTH VADER
Seriously though, who is badder than Darth Vader?!? He dresses better than HITLER and Dark Phoenix. He merck’d his babies momma with a Force choke out and then later he chopped off his son’s hand. Ruthless and trendsetting. His all black leather outfit is the dream of forty-something BDSM’ers everywhere. Salute the baddest motherfucker of all time when you see him in the streets.

B.M.F.O.A.T. HONORABLE MENTION

amin IDI AMIN
This fool put the fear of God into the white man. Lately he has been helping us to sell our DP dot com fundraising apparel. Incidentally, I have half a dozen of these shirts left so if anyone wants to help us keep the lights on you can hit me up on the e-mail.

jeffrey dahmer JEFFREY DAHMER
I suppose killing people is bad, but that is somewhat mitigated when you turn around and eat those same people. Instead of just disposing of the bodies he created a self-sustaining food source. Soylent Green is people and you, JEFFREY DAHMER, are a visionary.

rafi

RAFI KAM from OH WORD!
Not satisfied with the slaying of countless elfs and orcs this former Dungeon Master is about to set his wrath upon a slackidaisical home repair vendor. I expect the carnage to invole the possible threat of legal action (he is a Jew) as well as several nasty letters to affiliated companies. This is a man that once spent nearly 72 straight hours involved in an internets role playing game. Never once getting up for a glass of water or to even use the bathroom. You people at Home Depot need to respect this man’s gangster.

9 Responses to “AHMADENIJAD Aint Really Bad… (RAFI’s Re-Up)”

  1. sasha says:

    the list is the end all. i was forced to drop 45 pages of knowledge on the homie hitler to get out of high school and realized he is what my socioeconomically disadvanted, single parent householded lil black ass aspired to be. to be that one kid that went from bbq sauce sammiches to rule the muthfuggin WORLD (well he didn’t quite rule the world nor do i wanna holocaust anybody) for the record, i was and AM about using my powers for good.

    the dark phoenix rocks everybodies socks cause she struggles with the same thing. we’re related. on my momma’s side. all jokes aside.

    that rafi dude might be a force to be reckoned with too. be careful of what fisty refers to as the “jew-unit” though. that coon ass jiggaboo.

  2. Combat Jack says:

    Yeah, that Rafi dude scares the beejeezus outta me.

  3. ruimixx says:

    Haha! Rafi… crazy…

  4. Ronnie Friday says:

    DP, what sizes do the shirts come in?

  5. Belize says:

    No Stalin? How bout Lucifer-isnt he the HNIC?

  6. sangano says:

    For yall that like that rap rock shit…

    http://videos.onsmash.com/v/4n1Cx39IaWDFjPDK

  7. F says:

    The camps weren’t Adolf’s creation. Heinrich Himmler was the architect behind the camps, the founder, and the officer in charge. Essentially he was the practical logic to Hitlers’ ideology. He made shit happen. Not to mention he was the commander in charge of the Gestapo AND the SS. Him and Dr. Mengele belong on any ‘baddest mofo’ list.

    well…i guess they never ATE anybody.

  8. sasha says:

    thats what makes hitler so gangster, my dear f. he picked an allstar squad to implement his ideas or come up with their own more gully ones. all the while his disabled, half jew ass sat in the cut.

    when’s the last time a CEO came up with his own idea? hitler had vision and an air tight squad of goons to implement, orchestrate, etc. i’m about sitting back and letting others handle my lightweight.

    ps. i respect your history gangsta AND you look mighty handsome today! (smiles)

  9. Nigeria says:

    We need to stand up for our brown brothers rappin in Iran.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/7119097.stm

    We, the people of the Internets, must unite against the Iranian regime. This time they have gone too far!

    Remember, Hip-Hop isn’t just for Christmas, it’s for life.

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