dallaspenn.com

I won’t blame Jay-Z for the website’s chilly reception from Universal Entertainment. Jay-Z has a sense of humor and perspective. It’s just his weed carriers and Wig Brushers that are humorless fucks. Why else would we be shut out from the listening parties and the free alcohol? We are willing to sell out and we will do it for cheap. For only a few free drinks and some ‘Kingdome Come’ keychains we would have given the new CD our highest honor – a three fetus review.

It’s probably our fault anyhoo since we did have a chance to jump on the bandwagon when XXL invited us over there to blog for free. The question shouldn’t have been, “Is Jay-Z Going Broke?” The question we should have asked was if Jay-Z still cared what the fuck we thought. Jay is far above the silly fan boy internets chatter. He’s given bottles of Budweiser to thirsty Africans, he’s taken the rims off of his Maybach (not the video set rental, his REAL Maybach). Hell, he even has enough loot to spend on purchasing 200,000 CD’s. Jay is all grown up now and all I am is an oldhead still sitting in my parents’ basement in my underwear sipping orange juice, ginger ale and E & J Brandy from my special cup with the crazy straw typing on a keyboard. Jay knows all this so he pays me no mind.

The people at Def Jam however do not know this so they regard me as a threat. I’m not the reason that your paychecks are in jeopardy. YOU people at Def Jam are the reason. Stop being yes men and pussies and remind Jay-Z what it is to still have something to prove. All this ‘Reasonable Doubt’ reflection has made Jay full of himself. The race is not over yet Jay-Z and pretty soon you are going to watch some rapper overtake you without even looking for you to pass the baton. At least NAS is still running the race…

BILLY SUNDAY was offered another chance to join the Jay-Z fanclub by the good folks over at America Online. They were running a feature of Jay-Z pictures and they asked a few bloggers to submit their comments on the images. One of the commentators was from one of those miscellaneous jig celeb websites that exist only to drink star spooge. No, it wasn’t our sisters from Crunk or Concrete. Them broads keep it offish. Another commenter was ESKAY from Nah’Right who is a Jay-Z fan in the normal sense which means that he generally won’t co-sign any bullshit (unless he’s drunk, but we can relate). The third commenter was your friend WILLIAM to the H. Who decided from the gate that he would keep things funky. The comment theme he came up with for the series of photos was the ‘Life and Times of Young H-2-O’.

Everything seemed to be cooked with curry, but then the feature was removed from the site and dumped in an archive folder. I guess the humorless shitbags at Universal felt a kind of way seeing their cash cow being toasted. Trust me that it wasn’t even that serious, but in the world of paranoid yes men even the slightest joke is cause for alarm. Since AOL is too chickenshit to risk posting these comments I thought I would so that BILLY SUNDAY can catch a little shine.

	BILLY SUNDAY says I call this one Young Backdrop (no Weezy F Baby)

---

	BILLY SUNDAY says Your boy Young Bananas and your girl B. I’m feeling bananas over her banana skirt (no MEMPH BLEEK).

---

	BILLY SUNDAY says The King of All Jigs and Young Three Piece are worth over a billion dollars

---

	BILLY SUNDAY says Young Basketball and B taking in a Nets game. I wonder if the Nets move to Brooklyn will Jay move back to Marcy? You know that shit’s going condo?!

---

	BILLY SUNDAY says Young Beatlemania forgot to tell Ringo Starr which words he was supposed to say. Niiice LENNON shirt too Young.

---

	BILLY SUNDAY says Young Cleanliness brushing that dirt off his shoulder a/k/a Jim Jones.

---

	BILLY SUNDAY says Old MIMI with the see through is hanging with your boy Young Emancipation. Jay does get the credit for her album being released by Def Jam during his tenure right?

---

	BILLY SUNDAY says Young Entertainment knows tons of celebrities that you don’t.

---

	BILLY SUNDAY says Young Entreprenuer flashes the Dipset hand sign. Baaaaaaalllliiiiiinn’.

---

	BILLY SUNDAY says Young Heezy and Kanyeezy doing it up extra breezy. I wish somebody would sell these fools a moustache.

---

	BILLY SUNDAY says Young International politicing with my man NELSON MANDELA a/k/a Big Black Brother Uncle Africa.

---

	BILLY SUNDAY says Young Spectacular and Fabolous together chillin’. Ladies, please remember that two fingers is always better than one.

---

	BILLY SUNDAY says Young Mogul and L.A. Reid. I think Jay was wearing a prosthetic peace sign hand this evening.

---

	BILLY SUNDAY says Young is one of the smartest in the game. People call him oldhead. So instead he hangs out with these fossilized fruitbags and now he looks like a teenager.

---

	BILLY SUNDAY says Young South Beach chillin’ with the bootleg Rick Ross. Either that or Freeway doesn’t have a baseball hat on.

---

	BILLY SUNDAY says Young Santa knows how much the gift of a toy can mean to the children of the underpaid, undereducated, and underrepresented. Roc-A-Fella y’all.

---

This entry was posted on Friday, December 8th, 2006 at 8:20 pm and is filed under Black Bullshit, Crappers, Ghetto Celebs, No Boutros Boutros... Ghali. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.