reggie and pops

REGGIE and Pops

I’m excited for the upcoming season of Major League baseball for a bunch of reasons. It’s the sixtieth anniversary of JACKIE ROBINSON’s entrance into the majors, BARRY BONDS will likely become the new all time home run leader, the Mets will pwn the league, and the whole human growth hormone has been silenced ever since it became apparent that the entire league was on it (read: beloved WHITE athletes). I even joined an Internets Celebrities roto league. Looks like good times all around this summer.

This drop was inspired by OSCAR GAMBLE’s favorite website on the internets, Passion Of The Weiss. He had the idea for giving a shout out to MLB’s greatest moustached mavericks and mavens. Don’t act like it was only porn stars that sported the ridiculous facial hair from our youths. Baseball players were the real mutton chop superstars. From LUIS TIANT to MIKE SCHMIDT, seventies baseball was all about crappy polyester uniforms and personal style below the nose.

The Californian teams in the big leagues were certainly the fashion forward leaders in the facial hair movement. The San Diego Padres alone could field an entire squad of facial hair Hall of Fame players. Add in the Angels, the A’s and L.A. and you’ve got yourself a mountain of moustaches. Combine that with some of the greatest afros evar and you are talking about a follicle apex for American culture. When steroids and HGH came into the great American pastime hair would never grow the same. But I’m not into placing asterisks over afros…

Here’s the DP Dot Com list of the facial hair Hall of Famers…

george foster GEORGE FOSTER
By the time he came to the Mets after his years with the Big Red Machine GEORGE’s bat didn’t have the same pop, but hotdamnit his moustache sideburn connection was still on some official ‘grown man in the club’ status.

Dude needed more than his sideburns to cover those sonar scoops he had for ears.
doyle alexander

cecil cooper CECIL COOPER
I gotta make sure I put one in for LM so he doesn’t retract his sponsorship.

Chicago native GREG put in crazy work with the Philadelphia Phillies, but he could still bring it in his Chi-Town uniform when his drunk ass made it to the ballpark. Just like another of Chicago’s favorite sons and longtime DP Dot Commie, P-CITY.
greg luzinski

amos otis AMOS OTIS
This one is para mi amigo grande en la Ciudad de Kansas. AMOS was all about bringing shaft back to baseball.

“Shut Yo’ Mouth!”

I’m just talking about OTIS’ batting skills.

johnny damon

“So easy even a caveman could do it”

Did y’all cats know that DAVE WINFIELD was drafted by a pro football team despite the fact that he never played a single down in high school or college? And CHARLIE effin’ WARD wins a Heisman but didn’t get a single call. Facial hair = draft day hype.
dave winfield

rollie fingers ROLLIE FINGERS
ROLLIE was without question one of the greatest to ever do it. His Snidely Whiplash moustache should be telling you that much.

The Wizard of Oz was stylin’ on fools from the moment he came into the league.
ozzie smith

goose gossage GOOSE GOSSAGE
San Diego damn near had the entire facial hair All-Star squad. GOOSE GOSSAGE was just a big ol’ burly country boy who threw fire from his fist. Nothing subtle or sneaky in his repetoire, just fast, and faster.

Can you imagine his gaudy career numbers if big DAVE PARKER had played during the steroids era?
dave parker

steve bedrosian

STEVE reminds me of MICHAEL McDONALD. Remember that Yacht Rock hit song that STEVE and KENNY LOGGINS made together? Yeah, it seemed like only yesterday…

mike schmidt MIKE SCHMIDT
Show some mother effin’ respect to the Jewfro when you see them on the streets.

There’s no relief in sight from the gangsta of homey’s birdnest beard.
bruce sutter

reggie jackson REGGIE JACKSON
The big homey had his own candy bar.

I’d swear that he retired from the Dodgers to do porn with his moustache.
ron cey

don stanhouse DON STANHOUSE
DON pimped his matching afro and moustache style all the way into the 1980’s.

OSCAR is the G.F.H.H.O.F.O.A.T. of this shit. Right off the bat take into consideration the fact that his initials are O.G.

The sideburns and nappy moustache are official, but the afro is straight up on some HGH. That’s word to Oh Word!

oscar gamble

oscar G

31 Responses to “MLB’s FACIAL HAIR HALL OF FAME”

  1. Nigeria says:

    Real men rock facial hair.

  2. evan says:

    Hot shit. Winfield was the only person to be drafted in all four sports, too.

  3. Candice says:

    Oscar Gamble was truly reppin the FRO. And shouts out to my boy George Foster….slowest black man to ever run the bases…LOL

  4. 40 says:

    DP… Classic sickness. But how could you forget:

    Dock “LSD > HGH” Ellis?

    Peep this pregame wig:

  5. the_dallas says:


    LSD > HGH – you aint neva lie doggy

    Yeah mayne good shit, that’s mos def on some Wig Owner x Weed Carrier mash up.

    (sings Biz Markie chorus for ‘It’s Spring Again’…)

  6. dubble13 says:

    That Johnny Damon comparison to the Caveman had me rollin’!

    Yo DP: Have you seen the comparison of Rich Boy to Gollum? Another classic pic….

  7. Amadeo says:

    The Jewfro is a sight to behold.

  8. twerkolator says:

    i went to college with mike schmidt’s son. cool dude…

    btw, speaking of barry bonds, what’s everyone’s opinion of him becoming the all time home run leader? me not likey…

    p.s. – respect my moustache!!!!!!!!!

  9. 40 says:

    ^^^I got no beef with it. If Barry never got close to Ruth’s record and wound up dying from some steroid related failure down the line this subject would still not have been touched. I wrote a piece on this before I’d gladly hand it over to DP if he wants to get his baseball opening day theme poppin’ over here.

  10. Vik says:


    great post.

  11. bfnh says:

    oscar gamble looks like boots from the coup.

    a side by side may be necessary.

  12. Jeff says:

    Is it too much to call you a genius? No, I think it is not.

  13. I Fux says:

    Where is the John Bagley Picture?…………….Icon,Shanti,Land,G7,Phuq,88,Crazy88,Billz,Herbal,Conor,Greenie,LL, Yaboy,HipHopCop,Nation,Cold,Plug,E from BK,E the Real,Big Homie,Made,Mac Brown,Foekist,Illchange,911,whoever else I may have missed not slight, where are you guys its clear over here……….Come in

  14. Shanti says:

    *sigh* its just not the same fuxie.

  15. TYRONEBIGGUMS71 says:


  16. HERBAL KINT says:


  17. LM says:

    Excellent. I would have settled for Jim Rice. BTW, your mention of “This Is It” is apropos as NBC used that as theme music for its coverage of the NCAA tournament in ’79, when Magic’s team beat Bird’s in the final.

  18. landLORD says:

    *sniffs around*

    *pisses on curb*

  19. green eyes says:

    * peeks in *

  20. Mac Brown says:

    whaddup whaddup!!!!1

  21. I Fux says:

    No Problemo Dallas your Cool Peops was just trying to enlighten some Folks I know

  22. hip hop cops says:

    smells like cheetos and butt sweat in here, i’m going back to NR

  23. p-city says:

    D –

    Thanks for the shout out to the Chi. You can’t forget Luzinski’s partner in crime during the “Wiinning Ugly” days: Harold Baines

  24. dameSTATii says:

    Stargell went to my high school DP, Encinal HS in Alameda, CA. I also graduated with Jimmy Rollins.

  25. Gee says:

    Damn, dude was all rolled up on foam curlers!

  26. Travis says:

    Classic shit man….hope you are set for the ass whuppin’ you are about to recieve in the fantasy baseball league

  27. “amos otis almost ate us”

  28. Minko says:

    I really enjoyed your page.

  29. Shave That Thing says:

    I have one word for them: Laser Hair Removal!

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