Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go Back In The Water…


It’s Shark Week on Discovery Channel until Aug. 3rd!

I remember seeing ‘Jaws’ in the movie theatre eons ago. I remember being so shook that I wasn’t just scared to go into a pool. I was too scared to go to the bathroom at night after the lights were turned off. I don’t think I’m the only person with a healthy fear of sharks either. They are magnificent, terrible animals that have been designed for a singular specific purpose. Without their presence the basic ecological system of the ocean would be sent asunder. But even this perfect biomachine can be destroyed by us.

I love Discovery Channel’s ‘Shark Week’ even more than ESPN’s ‘SportsCenter’. Between the two there is no other reason for owning basic cable. Combine Shark Week with the ‘Planet: Earth’ nature series and you have the greatest documentary ever created about our natural environment. This planet will be changing rapidly from pollution and contamination so I suggest you get in where you fit in because when it’s gone it will be all gone.


I’m fucking with this joint tonight called ‘Perfect Predators‘ which will detail the adaptations that sharks have that make them invincible killers in the ocean. Did you know that Great Whites can breach the water? To see that shit on tape is ridiculous. Can you imagine how fast the shark must have to move in order to go airborne from the water?

For the rest of the week I’m staying in the shallow end of the kiddie pool.


15 Responses to “Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go Back In The Water…”

  1. Lion XL says:

    Word…jaws was my kryptonite, my brother was way mad because I woudn’t turn the lights off….then I saw the exorcist and learned a whole new fear….

  2. F says:

    ^ maaaaan…the exorcist. Pretty sure when that broad crabcrawled down them stairs it shortened my life by 6 years instantly.

    I always watch at least a couple of shows every year on ‘Shark Week’ to remind why I keep my Black ass the hell out of the water. They had some one on there giving ‘shark attack tips’ that was missing chunks of his arm and some digits….No thanks, man. Anyways, what more do people need to ‘study’ about one ton of teeth and a nasty disposition?

    great white shark + water + you = dinner.

    Research complete.

  3. Sordid Puppy says:

    damn. JAWS is so good. this is one of my favorite pieces of writing in film everr:


    you know that ornery morfukr wrote the whole damn flick

  4. Dart_Adams says:

    Dayum! I forgot all about Shark Week. Between the Celtics getting KG and the Red Sox getting Gagne I ‘ve been watching mad ESPN and the FoxSports Networks. Oh yeah, Dallas… I just made a new post about G.I. Joe on Poisonous Paragraphs. Check it out here:



  5. Sangano says:

    HOST ….South Korean Horror/SciFi Flick a MUST PEEP!!!!!

  6. F says:

    i been hearing quite a bit about ‘Host’..

  7. lol.thanx for the tiip *watching shark week episode now*

  8. Big Homie says:

    I did not know that Great Whites can do all that now

    Umm scared to go in the bathroom at night?? Didnt you have a night light?

  9. “You gotta live every week like it’s shark week”

    – Tracy Morgan (30 Rock)

  10. sasha says:

    man up ladies! aint yall see that one armed man sock them fools in the snout? nose punches for any punk ass shark step to me wrong!

    …..orrrrrr i can just not hang out in shark infested waters. either way i’ll be cool. i dont eff with the ocean past stand up depths. i can out run a shark from 50yards out. believe dat!

  11. Amadeo says:

    I always wanted to learn to surf…but sharks make me reconsider…I remember watching this joint about Bull Sharks and how they can go in fresh water and have be found to take people out in rivers IN the U.S.

  12. Candice says:

    I saw Jaws at the movies with my Dad (my mom told him not to take me)…and yup….as we all know….MOMS ARE ALWAYS RIGHT.

    I was shook at the beach for the rest of that summer.

    Shark week is the shizznit!

  13. Mothra Jones says:

    Yeah but what fuxs with that US Indianapolis special, OCEAN OF FEAR, where those sailors drank sea water and 5 hours later took a swim down to get some ice cream outta the sunken sub at the bottom of the south pacific? Sharks cleaned that shit up, all those littered dead bodies and all.

    Howabout when Dirty Jobs took on shark jobs? no i dont watch shark week AT ALL.

    What’s this Sportcenter thing all about?

  14. Combat Jack says:

    I saw “Jaws” in the theatre and the part where dude’s head fell out the boat had me scurred to venture into my basement, where I had to go all the way downstairs first before I could turn on the lights. frightful shit yo.

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