I admit that I called the Ghetto Big Mac the illest, most futuristic sandwich evar, but even then in the back of my mind I knew that I could find another level. What you are about about to witness severs the time-space continuum for deliciousness.
Deliciousness?!?
Is that even a word?
In the future, it is a movement.
I would argue that the greatest sandwich evar, the G.O.A.T. if you will, is the Egg McMuffin from McDonald’s. In its base form it contains everything you need to power yourself through a day of the urban experience. Bread, meat(Canadian even), eggs and cheese. That’s all you need in your life. McDonald’s is secretly afraid to run their breakfast menu 24 hours a day because tests have shown that the Egg McMuffin outsells the Big Mac almost 3 to 1. It’s just that good. But what if I told you that you could make it better? Are you ready for the Future(c)?
McDonald’s is currently running a promotion on Egg McMuffin sandwiches where two(2) sandwiches are $3. This is almost akin to a lunar eclipse for its rarity. Take advantage of the moment by arriving at McDonald’s a few minutes before the breakfast menu is swapped out for the lunch and dinner items.
The Egg McMuffin traditionally is served on a toasted English muffin with American cheese. Replace those two items with the McGriddle bread* and Swiss cheese**
*McGriddle bread is injected with syrup
**Swiss cheese is the best cheese McDonald’s offers
As your order is completed the lunch menu should be underway. Place the second half of your order – A Chicken McNuggets Happy Meal. I opted for a larger size Hi-C drink instead of the toy. No ice of course.
Think about this sandwich for a minute…
Ham, eggs, Emanthaler cheese, breaded white meat chicken on a syrupy sweet almost pancake like bread. Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles meets the Cordon Bleu. So ghetto, and yet so classy. You wouldn’t be wrong either if you said so i.C.
I like this technique for securing the Mcnuggets to the sandwich.
Since we are keeping this thing classy I got myself a set of McD flatware for the assembly. Also, the premium selects honey mustard sauce is the shizz. In the cosmology of condiments think about upgrading from a Honda Accord into an Acura RL. You can taste the difference instantly. Since the honey mustard sauce only comes with premium selects orders you are going to have to use some game to get this. My advice is for you to take home your leftover sauce. It’s that good.
I’m not sure for how long McDonald’s will leave open this time portal of incredible taste sensations but even if the Egg McMuffins aren’t on sale in your neck of the ‘hood you should still make a trip from your mom’s basement to the Future.
we’re through the looking glass right here.
Died. Gone. To. Heaven. I think I just inadvertently let a bit of sex wee out.
hahahaha @ sex wee
but that is the future sandwich: the meal of tomorrow’s past with delorean doors on the whip.
Wow…. That reminds me of my friend’s itis burger.
The future:
1. Tastes great
2. Is interactive
3. Is potentially the downfall of the human race via heart disease
Ummm…. perfect.
LMAO… but you gotta start leaving the fast-food glory for the younguns
LMAO @ ADB!
You could not pull that together here in Sweden with the shit they offer at McDougals if you tried…
ad nauseam.
DP, does your stomach hurt?
^ the slight discomfort you may feel is because you just traveled 1000 years into the future!
I would say something entertaining but I think my arteries just clogged up.
I just opened up an email someone sent me of a car accident where some poor fellow was ripped in half…. That was disturbing. That sandwich just made me sick. Barff!
let a bit of sex wee out.
^^^*heart failure* Yo this is quite disgusting DP, sheesh I dont fux with McDowells like that no mo’. But its genius that you came up with this in your own mind, how do you fit soo much genius in one mind.
ohhh ya No Dick-Riding
That was so.fukin.nasty. Dude, where do you come up with these ideas?? Ill stick to the basic, regular old Sausage McMuffin with Egg – but dont tell no one!
L
I kinda reminds me of a ghetto, fast food chicken cordon bleu with pancakes and eggs.
How the hell you came up with that idea, let alone ATE that shit is BEYOND ME!
One word = GROSS
How do you manage to pull off an order with that many changes and have them get it right? I can’t even make ONE change on my orders around here and they have them get it right.
Does swiss cheese and syrupy flavor really work???
LMFAO800X’s @ ASSEMBLE THE FUTURE : ….oh man dallas you really need a sitcom or some shit ….whheew * wipes tears
I don’t know if my stomach is built like that. You gotta have hardbody intestines to digest that b.
I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. How can you eat that?
no pork on my fork…
dag, heads still fuck with swine like that…?
I don’t dig the pig, even if it’s from the land up north with better health care plans..
but props to Dallas for being the ghetto corporate culinary visionary he is…
now come up with something for us heads that eat dead bird.
props to Dallas for being the ghetto corporate culinary visionary he is
Fuck props! I need some of that corporate scrilla.
You hear that McDonald’s, Burger King, Wendy’s, Exxon, Verizon, General Electric, motherfucking Universal Music Group?!?
I’m ready to sell the fuck out.
Fucking with this blog shit don’t keep my cable on.
Minus the swine that is nothing short of brilliant, Dallas. You are a damn foodie genius. Oh yeah, props to Ryan Grant for going Nova Flame on the Seahawks in the snow. 201 yards? Is he a fuckin’ cyborg on somethin’?
One.
^ RG beasted out on the Seahawks like I wouldn’t even have believed. How raggedy a cousin am I for not selecting him for my NFL Fantasy Playoff squad? Oh well, I’ll make it up to the fam by going to see Game Rebellion perform this Thursday nite.
bitter beer face = me right now
I’m a picky about what i consume off the rip, so this shit gets a Faggit professor red ink F that covers half of your cover page…no disrespect c seth from superbad.
DP is the now.
Because I am on some kinder, gentler shit and because my raw dog style and ice pick, box cutter style is not appreciated by the INTERNETSMEISTER OVERLORD MR. DALLASDALLASDALLAS P E N N
I will not say what I think about your exquisite artery clogging, artificial, high sodium, cancer causing, kill us before we turn thirty or cause diabetes and high blood pressure dietary food tips.
I will not even drop science (literally) and suggest you take that alleged food package and leave it on your back window for a month and notice that due to the massive amount of preservatives the food (?) does not change, rot or spoil. But what do I know? I’m 60, do 200 push ups a day, have good plumbing and sleep like a baby. Ernie (BOXCUTTA) Paniccioli
You’re right Mel, that’s a straight itis burger.
I’m all for healthy eating but this ish right here is exactly what I needed Friday night after stepping out with the girls and downing 4 Apple Martini’s.
Dart, Ryan G…that’s my boyeeeee!
1. that post was fuh’nee!!!
2. your Cuz killed it this weekend. 2 early fumbles and he just said “Fu%# it!! I’m not going out like that.” Dude was killin it.
3. Your boy Ernie has me cracking up in the comments section. Dude is taking it real serious. (mad skills with the lens, though)
4. D, when are you gonna admit that Mickey D’s has you on the payroll? This subversive shit ain’t fooling nobody.
Between YouTube and MySpace the Ghetto Big Mac has served over a MILLION viewers and you might think we could have gotten some comp fries from those bitches in Oak Brook?
Fuck around and I will be singing that Run-DMC joint ‘Down With The King’.
McDonalds has proven that identifying the animal(s) that died for our sins to become a meat patty is less important than good tasting sauce from a business standpoint.
My guess is that McNuggets are made of bird ankles and the McRib is actually a solidified barbecue fart.