WOULD YOU EFF A ‘GOLDEN GIRL’?

carrie


You do know that this bitch is 50 right?
Not that there is a damn thing wrong with that either!

Old ho’s stand the fuck up. Any of you broads that are next to menopause don’t need to put the men on pause you need to get some applause, and I definitely ain’t talking about the clap.

This is what these old hos from ‘Sex and the City’ are trying to do with their feature film. Give some props to all the sexy grandmas out there who can still make it pop, do the wop, and drop it like its hot. Me personally, I love myself some older women. Older broads are still banana bread crazy like their younger counterparts, but they have good jobs and the ability to listen better.

Older women are like seedless watermelon. For one, they are delicious, and secondly, you don’t have to worry about any seeds so you can plow through them with reckless abandon. There is a movement underway right now for younger men to get their old ol’ girl on. NICK CANON just married MARIAH CAREY didn’t he? Hells chea! MARIAH can still get it too. I choose her over PAM ANDERSON. I even choose MARIAH over UMA THURMAN and JENNY McCARTHY. Okay, maybe not JENNY McCARTHY. That is gonna be an old bitch who can get it.

With Mother’s Day in front of us this weekend I encourage you all to give thanks to the greatness of old pussy by kissing a grandma with your tongue, even your own if you have to. Grandma could teach you some tricks playboy. Just because she’s old don’t mean that thing is cold.

Editors’ note: Replace the chorus of this song with “sexy grandma plays with my banana”

18 Responses to “WOULD YOU EFF A ‘GOLDEN GIRL’?”

  1. Doc says:

    she aint 50, she’s 43. that kim catrall chick is like 50 something though.

    lol @ your older women/seedless watermelon analogy. that shit is hilarious!

  2. Combat Jack says:

    u crazy for this one dude!

  3. 40 says:

    AMEN BROTHER. I love older women… I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to having ulterior motives as I bandy around inane conversation with the divorcees and any other chick who doesn’t have a finger shackle. Is it wrong to hold out hope for being a kept man? At least during my times of temporary financial deficits?

  4. The uncomfortable truth for us men to admit is that women pwn men sexually.

    Both women & men’s physical appearence gradually degrades with age, probably at the same rate. For example, both women & men become less attractive to the opposite sex at age 50 vs age 25.

    However ability to fornicate degrades much differently by gender. If a woman has a high libido, her ability to fornicate degrades little if any at age 50 vs 25. OTOH, the pharma industry has shown us that some significant portion of 50 yo dudes can’t fornicate much or at all without pharma assistance.

    Women can also out-orgasm men. Even at the world class level, say 25 yo pr0n actors. The Roger Federer (eg best in the world) of pr0n dudes has some real upper limit on orgasms, I would guess something like 15 orgasms in a 48 hr period. Meanwhile the Serena Williams of pr0n women can easily ether 5 or even 10 of these “Federers”, assembly-line style. “Serena” may not orgasm on each “assembly line job”, but would easily destroy the 15 “Os” in 48 hr “Federer” number.

    I’m sure Dallas could e-mail you such “6-on-1” type of pr0n links if you need “proof”.

  5. evan says:

    I once fingered Betty White…so yeah.

  6. the_dallas says:

    ^ I know this nigga did not just put my shit on front street?

  7. 40 said “Is it wrong to hold out hope for being a kept man? At least during my times of temporary financial deficits?”

    I don’t make value judgements on the practice of being in a relationship for financial stability. However, I am a believer in gender equality. As a result, IMHO if it is bad for a man to do it, it’s equally as bad if a woman does it.

  8. bfnh says:

    i’ve always found that broad ridiculously unattractive. her grill looks like a well shaved armpit.

  9. Candice says:

    Hey…men have been cavorting with young girls since the beginning of time. Hell you were an old maid if no man had claimed you by 18 in various cultures.

    So to the cougars out there, I salute you in your pursuit of younger men with more energy than their older counterparts. Sure you may have to teach them a few tricks, chauffer them around town and buy them their first real suit and tie but hey…..you’ll be smiling in the morning.

    AND DP……THAT DAMN SONG LYRIC IS WRONG AS HELL.

  10. 40 says:

    EGC. Thanks for your um… answer?

    I will say this, there are a gang of career women out there that finally at 40-something realized all they come home to is their money and spend their free time, trying to land someone richer than them usually via some website. I’m willing because my own emotional security to be taken under the wing of one of these chippies who need someone to hang out with in their million-dollar condos and be appreciated. I got real simple tastes, I still drink beer that costs about five cents and ounce, and we can order in Chinese take out instead of trying to run up in some high-falutin’ shit. I ain’t trying to Federline these broads, but hey if I can “Summer” with her on the weekends and watch the game on a HD screen while she works from home I’m all for it. LOL.

  11. Candice says:

    Claim it 40! LOL

  12. FaTBoY says:

    Yeah the chick is hella old, I seen her in the movie Flash Dance a couple of weeks ago. Damn.

  13. p-city says:

    damn, D –

    Now I can’t get these song lyrics outta my head… you were wrong for that one…

  14. Vee says:

    Dallas, “the ability to listen better”, nah, they just understand our needs better, are less confrontational . . . they basically know what’s up!

    Nick Cannon!?! I’m not mad at him. Mariah is old but old and paid! Nick Cannon > Shawn Carter. Jay-Z signed some ridiculous, ludicrous, insulting pre-nup agreement. Alas, to each his own.

    40, do your thing!

    El Gringo, that’s why men should get it WHILE the getting is good! And do your best to stay hella healthy.

  15. persuede says:

    “With Mother’s Day in front of us this weekend I encourage you all to give thanks to the greatness of old pussy by kissing a grandma with your tongue, even your own if you have to.”

    wrong. wrong. wrong.

    Not in theory but def in practice.

    That song will never be the same for me…

  16. MrFan says:

    Every time I hear that song I sing ” Sexy Granny, take off them Panties”- I really find that hilarious you had the same idea. Oh yeah old bitches are grrreat!!

  17. nimisiskrash says:

    yo d aint a dam thing like some grown pussy,tast great,less filling!!!

  18. Zilla Rocca says:

    “I even choose MARIAH over UMA THURMAN and JENNY McCARTHY. Okay, maybe not JENNY McCARTHY. ”

    I was about to say, fam…Jenny McCarthy is the forgotten beauty of the 90s who didn’t play herself like Pam or Carmen Electra. I bet the highlight of the Roots career is when they played “What They Do” on the Jenny McCarthy Show on MTV in ’97

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