When Combat Jack told me that we needed to say fux Black History Month and rename this shit Rap History Month I was like “hells Chea!”. August was always my favorite Black History Month anyhoo since that shit is hotter than Africa. And they have Harlem Week.
So now that we are looking at Rap History Month the question is where to begin when talking about the rich history of exploitation of the Black experience that rap music represents more often than not. When rap was first delivered the artists were have-nots and ne’er do wells who often found themselves on the wrong side of the tracks.
Nowadays all the rappers you hear on the radio from Ludacris to Drake to T.I. are privately schooled educated actors who know how to feign their headshots with the appearance of the familiarity of hard knocks. Today’s mainstream rapper is 100% entertainer and 0% educator. When did Hip-Hop and rap become overcome with narcissistic vanity?
I think that line points directly to rappin’ athletes. Here was a population who entered the music biz already with a grip of legit money and notoriety. Think about who started the silly trend of spraying other people with champagne that rappers readily adopted? Athletes were the original entertainers to go broke shortly after confirmed millionaire status. If rap music is described as the soundtrack for ostentatious jewelry and the desire to have sex with big-assed women then professional athletes are the most Hip-Hop people of all time.
Being excessively Hip-Hop however does not necessarily make you a decent rapper. I think we are going to see an inverse relationship to someone’s ability to be good in contests of ghey prowess and the talent to make good ghey music a la Drake. Exhibit A (no Jay Elec) would be Neon Deion ‘PrimeTime’ Sanders who altho’ he has a gang of nicknames he didn’t save any talent for the soundbooth.
Neon Deion gets a pass from our memory mostly because he does some shit even worse than his singing. Deion’s Bama suit collection was the most annoying shit next to Craig Sager’s wardrobe. But Deion was also a championship ring wearer and that helps you get some forgiveness from the fans.
No amount of NBA championships tho’ should let anyone forgive Kobe Bryant for his attempt at being a rapper. This shit was a bigger bomb than watching Detroit sweep L..A. out of the Finals that year.
Kobe raps exactly as you imagined he would. Like a douchenozzle.
One of the most annoying trends that Hip-Hop granted to professional athletes was the ability to contract their names into little two-syllable monikers. Chris Webber became C-Webb. Allen Iverson begat A.I. and Shaquille O’Neal was now Shaq Fu. How sick was Shaquille O’Neal to try and bring back the Fu Schnickens style of rap long after it was washed up?
And he almost did it too.
Shame on a schnicken that bought the SECOND album.
With this next clip we can see how much 2Pac inspired Chris Webber. Think about it, with all the stops that Webber had in the NBA his soundtrack should have been ‘I Get Around’. As far as Webber’s music career, someone should have called a timeout.
All rappin’ athlete music isn’t utter garbage tho’. Some of it could actually pass for the shit most kids try to sell on their sidewalk mixtape hustle. Allen Iverson and Ron Artest are two dudes who keep the streets on their sleeve no matter where they are. Iverson kept it so street he scared the shit out of any good sponsorship opportunities his on-court play may have generated for him.
Listen to this track called ’40 Bars’ where Iverson basically crafts a profanity laced snitchery session. I guess A.I. didn’t know that you weren’t supposed to name your shooters?
Allen Iverson – ’40 Bars’
Allen Iverson was so Hip-Hop that the rest of his album’s content had to be strictly domestic violence and drug raps.
Speaking of drug raps…
There’s no way I would shit on my hometown crew from 1986 altho’ it’s now painfully evident that their rhymes wouldn’t have been on coke inasmuch as they were on coke when they did their rhymes.
Ah well, cie la vie.
Pitchers and catchers [ll] are back to work.
Long live Rap History Month.
1986 NY Mets – ‘Get METSmerized’
Darryl Strawberry looks like the happy big brother of Papoose.
Notice how every word in the Artest pic is misspelled
LOL @ the Peruvian Mets…Chris Webber got his World Class Wreckin’ Cru on…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYHAOvpiPkE
Shine n*gga shine!
nytimes.com/2010/02/17/nyregion/17bell.html?hpw
Good post DP. Rappers are indeed the new thespians, & twiggas & twitches continue to follow them down rabbit holes.
In the same spirit, let us remember the story of Percy Miller, a man who thought money & mediocre ball skills would be enough to earn him a spot in the NBA. No dice. He should’ve started a Lewzanna chapter of the Globetrotters. The Crawdads or the Lil Waynes or some shit.
out of everyone on the list you wouldn’t think shaq would be the best. a couple years ago he ever dusted off his mike to drop the kobe how my ass taste freestyle mwhahahahaha.
Master P was actually working as a sports agent at sometime wasn’t he? Hammer should holler at that dude for investment knowledge…
$yk!
Yeah, you’re right. Funny thing, it’s not that he was all that bad, either. But like DP was saying, that shortcut shit doesn’t work, even when the galaxies coincide.
NAT-
Shaq wasn’t the worst rapper. It’s just amazing that, with nigga stereotypes, more ball players can’t rap. They pull guns, get drunk during games, all them dudes smoke weed, plant bastard seeds, but none of them has decent rap skills? It’s an anomoly. I call bullshit…
We can never forget the great hiphop contributions from Mr. Roy Jones Jr. “You Must’ve Forgot” which was a god awful song. He dropped two albums the amazingly horrible “Body Head Bangerz Vol. 1” and the deaf, dumb & blind causing “Round One”. Both of Roy’s albums were eardrum genocide.
I also have to send a shout out Money Mayweather, Tony Parker & Troy “T-Hud” Hudson. I just read that T-Hud’s debut album sold 78 copies the first week. That album was about as hot as his basketball career.
There is also a album called “B-Ball’s Best Kept Secret”. Thank the man above this secret never got out. The album features St. John’s own Malik Sealy, the worst slam dunk champion ever Cedric Ceballos, shit talker extraordinaire Gary Payton, Chris Mills (who the fux is that) and the talented wordsmith JR Rider. The only people who should own this trash are the ninjas I mentioned above.
Tony Grand this is some funny shit “He should’ve started a Lewzanna chapter of the Globetrotters. The Crawdads or the Lil Waynes or some shit.”
I can’t wait for that new Gilbert Arenas album “My Last Shot”…blank
Once again DP a great drop, funny and informative. Chea!
How about that Cavs trade? ‘twan for Z? Clippers don’t ever count…
Wonder if Z can spit a hotter verse than Agent Gil…
Malik Sealy RIP. He was a St. John’s legend.
Shouts to the Cavs for recognizing they are looking out of a window that is about to close…
I know the Wizards are going to drop Zyundras Ilgauskas wit the quickness, once the season is over. The Knicks will most likely get the “Tin Man” T-Mac and give him a new contract. I’m embarassed to be a Knick fan.
Dope post.
Don’t front, Shaq-Diesel was almost dope. almost. I put my money on him over Wale.
I never even knew Chris Weber had a song, let alone an alblum. Where the fux was I?
Get Mets’merised sounds like one big coke fest….the whole squad sound rap like they cant feel their face!LOLz
Thank you George, you’re a classy guy,
with ya’ black bat, you know we shall relyyy!”
(ll) (ll) (ll)
You know you’re truly a Hip Hop Head if you went out & drop cash for ‘B-Ball’s Best Kept Secrets’.
*hangs head low, in unrelenting shame*
Out of all the rapper/athlete Shaq was the best….of the worst. DP this post is on point. Today it seems like most rappers favorite rapper is Soulja Boy, and that’s really fucked up!
Jerz-
That Webber song was horrid, but in context to an entire album of tool bag jocks, it didn’t stand out. You’d have to hear each song off that album, individually, to truly appreciate the immense lack of skill.
I’d rather hear William Perry do a superbowl shuffle remix over ‘Exibit C’.
Not much to add to this Hall of Shame roll call but, on the other end, probably the dopest– in context– baller/musician was…
Wayman Tisdale.
Mind you, as a serious music fan I have very little USE for his context (“smooth jazz”) but I can’t deny he was an accomplished musician and folks– black and white (not sure about the Asians, who are often purists) liked it.
Also, Wayman recorded with Bob James, who as most DP readers know, ** is ** hip-hop.
That said, THIS is way more my style:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzqVXvwMHCU
Stick around for Eric Dolphy’s solo–
For the non-jazz heads, Dolphy is one of the giants of 20th c. American music, Los Angeles-native hero and sorta kinda a J. Dilla figure– beloved genius who died at age 36 after going into diabetic coma. Any record with Eric on it is worth hearing.
JaiSlayer,
Thx for reminding me of those Roy Jones Jr. shit sandwiches.
@WSS
Back in the day, I’d always wondered if that dude was one in the same. Lol. Thanks.
I loved Neon Deion’s video it was pure comedy.
YALL MUSTA FORGOT!!!
Thanx Jai!
Iron Mike Tyson had the best appearance by an athlete on rap song with 2nd Round Knockout. Although he didn’t rap, him just doing his usual creepy-but-fascinating verbiage made that joint official.
WWIB, Wayman Tisdale is that dude for my non-threatening office music steez. RIP
Real jazz and the real raps scares the fux outta the establishment,but one thing they don’t realize is….Rappers Eat.
That Kobe video just gave me a eye’s bleed.
where is tony parker he had a rap album to
man! i figured you’d be bangin lovebug starski’s “you gotta believe (lets go mets)” remix for the nyms for 86!
Strawberry does look like Pap’s older bro……….
Gooden has always looked like Jay z…
I never heard the Iverson song before but his flow is terrible……
on paper it’s probably some hot lines…wonder how much he paid treach to write it for him..
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I think GP would have been a good battle rapper cause he can clown dudes on some real shit
look at this photo first…
http://www.everyjoe.com/nbaobsessed/files/2009/01/shaq-nc-afpphotos119099-bkn-lakers-suns-kid.jpg
if you decide to view this youtube clip from 2001 allstar game
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYpB6J5-fm8
the KNICKS took the ultimate L…..for allowing jesse james to record the (rap) theme song
go new york go new york go..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSCdq1s5ekI
hip hop was formed in NYC….but they got an OT white dude to do the theme music….
as warner wolf would say..”YOU LOSE”
word to RUN-TMC and golden state