I’m not a Kobe stan by any stretch of the imagination, but I will tell you this…


Okay, my bad. That was stannish. Slightly lightly. Riddle me this tho’ hoopsheads…

Kobe > Jordan?

In a few more years some of you may have to admit that Kobe Bryant was better than Michael Jordan.

The above statement looks like multi-tiered blasphemy today, but I’m asking some of you to consider a future where Kobe Bryant has won more than six championships and scored more points, and given more assists, and won more big games.

It will be ever so close tho’ and decided by percentage points. I don’t know math too tough so I’ma have to take out my crayons and the what not. Let’s use what we got to see what we see true believers. -(c)Stan Lee x George Clinton

Kobe is becoming the Showbee we always knew he could be.

However, Michael Jordan remains the generational standard bearer because you can’t count anyone who played in the tight pants era(Russell, Chamberlain, Magic, Bird). Kobe would have been just like Jerry West if he played in that era, but Kobe is in the Long Shorts era. In the Long Shorts era the team game is supplanted by the megastar. His journey has to be spectacularly singular. That’s what the marketing division said.

Jordan was able to develop the ego to fit the Stern School of Athletic Business model. Kobe doesn’t have the ego to match Michael Jordan’s. Kobe walks alone off the court, but plays the team game when on it. Jordan takes a greater percentage of his team’s shots and then buys everyone beer and hoo ers after the game. I could go and on with anecdotal facts about both players but I know why you fux with DP.com anyhoo.

The pictures and graphical shit.

Just know that one of these days you gonna have to give Kobe some of Jordan’s wigs.


G.O.A.T. Longshortsmen Graphical Shit


Jordan edges Kobe FG percentagewise and also takes more shots per minutes of playing time. Jordan is the one who ISN’T passing the ball.

3pt fg

For the average of 3-pointers attempted per minute of playing time Kobe goes in from deep [ll] more than Jordan does. Kobe is slightly more accurate also.


Kobe better FT shooter and averages more attempts per game.


Push on the rebounds. Kobe on the assists. Jordan edges on the steals. Push on the blocks.

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Jordan is a better corporate chump.


Jordan is also a major D-bag. I’ma let Chamillionaire tell it.


Kobe has better advisors. Michael loses a record amount to alimony and he wears a nazi moustache.


Kobe likes to stuff it in the poophoop [ll].


At the end of the day who cares about these assholes?

I’ve got a fux’n headache.

20 Responses to “WIG OWNERS > WIG BRUSHERS:The Kobe Report…”

  1. fredMS says:

    mj is the superior tweeter.

  2. Ivan says:

    Great post! And yeah, Kobe >>>>>

  3. Good drop, DP. [ll]

    It’s going to all boil down to longevity. If Kobe can play long enough, & retire from the game with 2 fists full of broken records, awards, accolades & titles, there’s only so long the public will be able to pigeonhole him.

    My main argument in the “kobe vs jordan” debate is that Kobe’s never going to be (the next) Jordan, & he doesn’t have to. He’s the first Kobe, if you smell my cologne.

  4. Enigmatik says:

    Michael Jordan
    1072 Regular Season Games; 179 Playoff Games
    Regular Season Averages: 30.1 ppg, 6.2 rpg, 5.3 apg, 0.8 bpg, 2.3 spg
    Playoff Averages: 33.4 ppg, 6.4 rpg, 5.7 apg, 0.8 bpg, 2.1 spg

    Kobe Bryant
    1021 Regular Season Games; 198 Playoff Games
    Regular Season Averages: 25.3 ppg, 5.3 rpg, 4.7 apg, 0.5 bpg, 1.5 spg
    Playoff Averages: 25.5 ppg, 5.2 rpg, 4.8 apg, 0.7 bpg, 1.4 spg

    We’ll just stop there. Kobe is the 2nd greatest shooting guard of all time…and there’s nothing wrong with that.

  5. the_dallas says:

    I am doing a productivity per minute analysis prorated over their entire careers.

    Jordan hoists more shots and logs more minutes on the floor doing so.

    Kobe’s efficiency will make him slightly better when it is all said and done.

  6. SIC BEATS says:

    Robert Horry has 7 championship rings, does that make him better than Jordan? Hell no…. Point is, Kobe’s 1st three rings were lead by another dominate force in the league at the time, SHAQ (Who also took 3 Final MVPs). Truthfully your boy Kobe only has 2 rings on his own. And even with 2 rings, he has yet to prove himself as a great player. Am i not watching the same games as ya’ll? Didnt Kobe get shut down again by the celtics? He was shooting horrribly when it most counted, as opposed to Jordan who’s shooting % excelled in the playoffs. (54% to be exact). There is no comparison… DP, you are starting to sound like one of those ESPN analyst. I hope you are getting checks from Stern when you blog this blasphemy.
    Kobe is not a man your son should look up too. He is an oversensationalized princess. Yet to prove himself. Your son should never idolize this bitch. His whole history is unrespectable. 14 15 across the board as the great Sean P would say.

  7. SIC BEATS says:

    LeBron > Wade > Kobe…. exactly in that order, check the stats.

  8. sealsaa says:

    “LeBron > Wade > Kobe…. exactly in that order, check the stats.”

    ^^Lebron has no rings on his own, Wade got his ONE ring the same way Kobe got his first 3, via Shaq, and Kobe has 2 on his own, yet he’s at the bottom of this totem pole??

    Nigga logic….that’s a no-sign.

    As for him being an “oversensationalized princess”, you sound like a rabid Celtics fan. Chicago’s my team, but I give credit where credit is due. Facts speak for themselves. Stop it.

  9. Ricky says:

    Great post right here. MJ got this though. Shouldn’t we also take into account Kobe playing great basketball with a pending rape case on his hands at the time Yikes

  10. LM says:

    MJ hands down. But this is a classic “why I read dallaspenn.com” post.

  11. apolow says:

    is you serious
    the mvp that failed most of his fg shots in game 7
    if it wasnt for artest and gazol
    lakers would not won that game
    appart of the bad referee calls
    as for MJ hes invictus won 6 of 6 nba finals chicago played
    2 – 3 peats

  12. Mark Dub says:

    I’m w/Sic and apolow. Kobe is one of the baddest mofos I’ve EVAR seen w/ball in hand, but at the end of the day, MJ had better numbers w/arguably less talent around him, and if it wasn’t for Ron Artest’s BRILLIANT game 7 and the refs being biased as hell (21 FTs for the Laker-girls in the 4th Qtr to the Celts 5), then we prolly wouldn’t even be having this discussion. However there’s one stat that I’ll draw attention to that leaves many a Laker fan checking his watch or something when I mention it. Even if Kobe gets another 3 or 4 rings….MJ NEVER allowed himself or his team to be defeated in the NBA Finals. NEVAR. He has a goose-egg in the loss column as round as his head [ll]. Kobe has 2 Ls like James Todd Smith, and was on the verge of another. For me, end of discussion.

  13. nerditry says:

    Kobe won’t ever be better than Jordan as MJ was a revolutionary player where Kobe was the next evolution.

    Bean is becoming one of the all-time greats, but I can’t say anything other than his durability [||] being specifically legendary.

    Props to two NYC boys having to go to LA to make themselves champions.

  14. Angela says:

    I love DP.com graphs.

  15. VEe! says:

    @sealsaa true story . . . Shaq and the rest of the Heat were riding Wade’s coattail to the championship.
    @Enigmatik ditto
    @SIC BEATS ditto BUT did you see how well Wade, Lebron and Kobe performed in the Olympics. And did you remember how Kobe pulled through towards the end? KOBE! Did you not forget how Lebron disappeared against the Celtics during the playoffs?

    This is definitely Kobe’s time, Kobe’s league and all that but you also have to take into account all of the rules put into the game to make it a faster-high scoring game. Jordan had defenders using and abusing him all kinds of ways before he could get a decent foul call. Wade, Bryant and King James don’t have to worry about that.

  16. Children of Sanchez says:

    Jordan is still more clutch….fuck it I said it. I don’t care about the number.

    And once D. Wade gets a decent team, I can’t effin wait…

  17. DV8 says:

    Jordan easy. You forgot the fact that Jordan played in the NBA when hand checking was legal and you could damn near clothesline someone without getting a foul call. Remember the Bad Boys of Detroit and my (and probably yours too) NY Knicks? Boston? Come on the league used to be rough. Boston tryin to bring it back but they get hit with bullshit calls.

    And I dont care what anybody says it was 5 (boston) on 8 (lakers, refs) in the 4th quarter of Game 7.

  18. $yk says:

    “And I dont care what anybody says it was 5 (boston) on 8 (lakers, refs) in the 4th quarter of Game 7.”

    ^ refs done made ‘Sheed wanna hang up the AF1s…

  19. DV8 says:

    and one more thing

    Kobe has had way more talent around him then Jordan ever did.

  20. 69 yr old man. Long time Viagra user while married. Worked well within its limitations (empty stomach, etc). Divorced and no sex for 2.5 years. Went to Cialis 5mg daily since I started dating again. Good results with few side effects. I should mention I experience upper leg pain and I stopped. After a few days I went back to 5mg daily and no leg pain. Body adjustment I guess. I kept a log for three months. Here are my recommendations. Cialis 5mg daily. Cialis 20mg if you’re expecting sex. Cialis 5mg might be enough but 20mg is amazing. That said, if you have psych issues causing problems, I tried 100mg Viagra with Cialis 5mg until they’re resolved

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