JUELZ SANTANA, Thou Art Imbecile

no homo

JUELZ SANTANA thought that if he pulled a KANGAY “George Bush doesn’t care about Black people” WEST he might get some extra units moved on his upcoming album tentatively titled ‘I Roll CAM’RONs Weed’.

JUELZ was asked to comment on Barbara Bush’s remarks made during her visit to the Houston SuperDome. Let’s rewind… “What I’m hearing, which is sort of scary, is they all want to stay in Texas. Everybody is so overwhelmed by the hospitality and so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this, this is working very well for them…” Mrs.Bush’s comments were definitely sideways, but JUELZ said “That sounds like something a stupid bitch would say to me. That’s all I got to say.” JUELZ also admitted that he didn’t know who Barbara Bush was but he thought that she was related to the ‘other Bush’.

JUELZ SANTANA was asked to provide commentary on things that were closer to his wheelhouse of information. VOLETTA WALLACE, the mother of Notorious B.I.G., said in her memoir that, “I believe that Sean (“The Diddy” Combs) loved my son after he was dead. I used to tell Christopher all the time not to trust Sean.” JUELZ response to that was “She said that she told him that? I mean seriously, that’s too personal for me? You understand? That’s too deep for me. I swear to God I got goosebumps on my arms! I swear to God that you just said some crazy shit like that to me. Like, I’m not even lying to you. For real. I can’t even answer that one either. That shit is too crazy. Goosebumps came to me when you said that B. Goosebumps.”

I hope that JUELZ gets over his goosebumps in time to do some real promotion for his new album. JAY-Z decided to keep JUELZ as part of the Def Jam roster instead of casting him away with CAM’RON and JIM JONES. The T.I.’s that run DefJam don’t want any more weak selling YOUNG GUNNER – MEMPHIS BLEEK – JOE BUDDEN types on staff.

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