New York City has hosted many legendary parties over the years. One of the greatest Hip-Hop parties never played any rap music, but you were just as likely to see A-list producers and industry heads up in there on the regular. The party was called ‘Soul Kitchen’ and that is what was on the menu all night. Classic funk and soul music that was being sampled by the best producers from New York to Los Angeles blared from the speakers. The hosts of the party provided free fried chicken to all of the party goers that got there early enough and whichever venue held the party also sold quarts of Colt 45. We were sure that Hip-Hop was going to change the world. The only problem is that we were also smoking three or four White Owl blunts a night and occasionally popping an orange barrel, but gottdammit we could buy a quart of that BILLY DEE for only $3 bucks.
Eventually Soul Kitchen would stop being the spot and we would finally have to face the facts that Hip-Hop was just music that filled up a broader consumer lifestyle. As rappers spoke on consuming luxury items Heinekins and Coronas kicked malted liquors to the curb, relegating them to has-been crackhead status. This post is an homage to all of the brands that I have sampled through my years as a high school dropout, journalistic wannabe.
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OLDE ENGLISH 800 O.E. is the gold standard for malt liquors. It has a nice even taste and is palatable when warm, like say about 9a.m. after you have finally awoken and you have to go to work and there is still a couple of White Castles left on the kitchen counter and you realize that half a blunt is still sitting in the ash tray. By the way, who is that chick in the bedroom?!? |
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COLT 45 Colt Fo’ Fizzle never really got the props it deserved for being as smooth as it was. It was like drinking water, but after two or three tall cans you were hit in the face. Try not to take a piss on this stuff because once the seal is broken you might as well just stay in the bathroom. |
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CRAZY HORSE True story is that the Native American called CRAZY HORSE was some kind of wild activist against alcohol and its effects on Native American peoples. That’s why you can never trust white. As soon as you are dead they flip your legacy into his story. If Crazy Horse is what we drunk before going to a Hip-Hop party, someone was going to get duffed out crazily that night. |
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PRIVATE STOCK My homie COMBAT JACK always talks about how good Private Stock was. Truth is that it was aiiight, but it’s always a smart move to let the chicks see you with something different in your hand than O.E. |
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BALLANTINE ALE This was my brand for flipping the script and going classy with it. Ballantine was hearty too. Where as you needed at least two O.E.’s to get pissy, one and a half Ballantines’ would put you on the path to Negro nonsense. |
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MIDNIGHT DRAGON Hide the women and children. The first time that I ever got crackhead stoned off alcohol was prah’lee after having a forty ounce of this shit. It is deadlier than that bumwine called Cisco. I remember being in a whorehouse on Roosevelt Avenue with T.C. and I threw up all over the waiting room. We were kicked out and T.C. laughed at me all the way home. That’s what you get for drinking a .99cent forty. |
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CHAMPALE If you have never had Pink Champale you have never lived. Fuck all of that Moet Nectar and all that other bullshit that costs $50 a bottle. At the end of the evening it is all going into the sewer anyhoo. Nah’Mean?!? |
Dallas, this is hilarious! Truth is I vividly recall my girls and I checkin’ on the dudes at the parties drinkin’ Private Stock. O.E. was straight played, we were pretty much over the ‘Boys in the hood’ persona most young cats were perpetuating. But P.S. was the playa move. It just looked too cool…back then.
Maaaan, Dallas, you neglected the best of the unsung best: The Original Schlitz Malt Liqour Red Bull. Whenever I mention this nowadays, fools think I’m stressing some ol’ energy drink. BS! I mean that Red Bull. You can still find in select spots in major cities; I’ve even seen it in Cinci. No BS, this probably the best TASTING of the cheap malt lix. No grimy aftertaste, and it creeps upon you. LOOK FOR IT!
The first time I ever got drunk was with St. Ides and to this day the only things that have made me hurl are Capt. Morgan and Colt .45
ballantine ale is my choice.
it’s cheap and its pretty damn good. after a couple 22’s i was feelin like a drunk monk with a quart of ballantine.
Olde English 800 (or Eng Bing as they call it in philly) isn’t just a classic it’s the ideal compared to other junkie juice 40s… OE is the what helped boost Tupacs-aht hmm Bishops, the juice before the roof… Steele even cooked breakfast with it… Wesley Snipes drank it before he caught Jungle Fever…
-no point-
“i am the one with the clientele.
you say, “adrock, you rock so well”
i’ve got class like pink champale
mca grab the mic before the mic goes stale”
BEASTIE BOYS-
i think crazy horse got banned in oakland. it was causing insane amounts of alcohol related violence….at my parties for damn sure.
it was some smooth shit, but yo! where’s the cisco in the new bottle kid? act like you know!
Whaa, no Mickey’s?!
Yeah…you were a classy broad if you drank Pink Champale.
Nahh mayne, no Schlitz, no Michelob and no Schaefer.
Damn I am so green. Never has so much as a drop of any those touched my tongue in all my 37 years. I guess that’s good?
“i think crazy horse got banned in oakland. it was causing insane amounts of alcohol related violence….at my parties for damn sure.”
LMAO~Dang!!!!!
hold up penn you bringing back memories,back in high school me and my crew would have wd40 fridays,the wd stands for wing dinners(from timmy chans) and a case of 40oz bottles of bull(blue lable). we would go to mcgregor park after lunch and drink and eat the rest of the day until we decided to my mans crib to sober up a little bit we had to see the parents.-P.S. what about when they came with the 64oz jug-we called it the nigga killa
please consult http://xxlmag.com/online/?p=2332
private stock is good too sort of an off brand mickey’s. but my days of drinking 40s that aren’t in green bottles are behind me.
Nice history on the 40.
I didn’t start drinking until I went to college in the ghetto of Philly. The official 40 of choice for my social circle was Coqui 900, available at all the nasty 40 spots in the neighborhood. Private Stock was also a favorite (largely because of the greatness of the name — “Crack open the private stock!”) as was Country Club. My favorite 40 poster was from Lazer, a brand available up in North Jersey, where a fine woman tilts a 40 to the side, when magically a green lazer pours out of her glass, rebounding off the sides of the poster, and artfully spelling out the name on the bottom.
My all-time favorite 40 spot was a place called D-Mart, helpfully located between two giant tower-style federal housing projects located in New Brunswick, NJ. For one glorious summer, they had a deal: a bin in the back of labelless 40’s, all sold for $1 a pop.
^Greggulator,
you just killed me with that total recall. Labeless 40ozs. for a buck?!? You sound like the type of cat that Ross Stores were made for.
S.D.,
the 64oz. jug was not to be fucked with. When a dude came on the block with that joint we used to back up. It’s not like between us we couldn’t drink two or three forties apiece, but the committment to getting fucked up that the jug presented was just too much. Like, we are gonna get fucked up today and prah’lee nothing else. The 40oz. and the duece dueces still left your options open.
Candice,
I am sure that you were always a classy broad at the BTHS hooky parties, drinking your Pink Champale with a straw.
Miss Ahmad,
I believe that Crazy Horse and Midnight Dragon were both made with airline fuel and dry cleaning ethers.
Wow… Backtracking through old posts and I found this jewel…
The Soul Kitchen – what a effin’ place man. For a malt liquor man like myself this place was the tits. What made it even better was batting clean up for all my panty-waist homies who couldn’t get past the neck. MO’ FO’ ME!!!
As the name says I still am one with the Old Gold. I’m glad to see it get some shine. I do miss the 64 oz in the summer time but I guess that was considered a little too genocidal…
I still roll around with a cooler in the drunk like DMC…
Can any one tell me where Pink Champale can be purchased? I do know for a fact it is still being brewed