And alcoholics.
So here I am in the local liquor store about to trick off on myself because I got some money sent to me from the tall Israelis at Harris Publishing. I talk a gang of shit about Harris putting out all of those gun magazines (who buys that shit anyhoo?), but I love these motherfuckers when I see that envelope in my mail box. Don’t you ever get it twisted, your boy is coin-operated.
So as I walk to the counter to buy my Belvedere my side eye catches some poster ads for a new vodka brand. A sparkling vodka?!? Can you say N.E.G.R.O.tastic? Only Black people would fuck with this shit. The shit is called NUVO and I laughed out loud at the retarded bottle this shit comes in. Turns out that the same crazy Russian that made Hpnotiq in his bathtub (true story) is the guy putting this swill on the streets.
If glass bottles weren’t phallic enough this NUVO shit is inscribed “For Her”. Haha, what a riot. What isn’t funny is that the poster had pictures of Lil’ Wayne and T-Pain in a nightclub setting enjoying NUVO with some of their lovely model friends. I can imagine NUVO going nicely inside of a styrofoam cup. Oh shit! Is Birdbrain dyeing his hair blonde? Damn you BeYonce!
Selling fake classy liquor to dumb negroes is nothing new, word to Lando Calrissian, and the same fools that sprinkle their eggs with diamonds just to make their poop sparkle will love this sparkling liquer.
Lil’ Wang was given the honor of being the best rap lyricist in 2008 from the highly credible front office of Black Entertainment Television. Wang wasn’t even the best lyricist in the month that his latest album debuted. I wonder if Black Thought was even nominated? It’s a good thing that the Carter III is being re-released with new songs that hopefully some talented ghostwriters have given to Wang. The stream of consciousness rapping by inserting words that rhyme but have no coherence is washed up. It’s time for Wang’s ghostwriters to give this man a song that makes some semblance of a point. Yes, we understand that your teeth shine like the Easter rabbit, and is that all?
This is one of the reasons that I say that cRap music has been making its listeners retarded. When you can be hailed for lyricism, and you have NO lyricism we have entered the Bizarro zone. Hip-Hop is dead party people. Welcome to the funeral. I suppose in a way that there is really a poetic justice to Hip-Hop’s demise.
In the beginning for Hip-Hop, everything was all about getting cold retarded. Right now, the most important rapper in the game is a stone cold retard. Okay, that is incorrect for me to say, he is more like a mental cripple. I think thats fresh though because cripple has the root word ‘crip’ contained inside of it and Crips are definitely Hip-Hop. Nahh, but for real internets, meet Laz D from Oregon. He is differently-abled yet still taking his love for Hip-Hop to higher levels.
I respect this dude because he raps for the love of it. This kid will never be in a liquor ad or doing some shit that gets him arrested for no fucking reason. He won’t be pinched by the police on a tour bus holding drugs and an unloaded weapon. He is not going to be raping women and defiling them with his urine. Everything that I ever loved about rap this kid embodies. The passion, the work ethic, the sense of community. The advantage homey has is that the second he grabs the mic to go in he is immediately gonna spit some retarded shit. In a way, Laz D is more progressive than even MY favorite rappers. I’m not even mad at the lil’ homey for letting his Source Mag jewelry hang low.
I’m tired of arguing about who is the most lyrical rapper alive. That’s nonsense talk. I’ve seen the future of rap music and it is only being made by retards.
^ “When you can be hailed for lyricism, and you have NO lyricism we have entered the Bizarro zone.”
Hate sounding like that old nigra in the barber shop, but gotta give a big co-sign on this post. It’s bad when my favorite rapper of the day is M.I.A.
And BAD meaning BAD!
Poignant post but with niggas like Wale, Joell Ortiz Charles hamilton B.o.B and Currensy making dope music i disagree that rap is being made by kids on the shortbus
“….ima fweestyle m.v.paaay…!”
I downloaded Laz D’s joint a couple days ago, and f*cked around last night and fell asleep with the earbuds still on….now I can’t get that song outta my head, B!
While I don’t think hip hop is dead, Viacom and Emmis are doing a top notch job of f*ckin’ it the f*ck up! and young American fans are so fickle that artist are going international, just like Jazz, Blues, R & B. The young cats don’t even give a f*ck about their new artist, so they damn sure dont care about old school. That new MTV/BET sh*t has absolutely no shelf life
Trust me, no kid is gonna be looking for The Best Of Fabolous, or Plies, the Lost Tapes when they reach 30.
Cats don’t even know how to promote anymore either. Remember buying a Funkadelic album and It was like reading a comic book? or opening Rae’s cassette box and the tape was purple? or Talib had the square cereal box 45RPM attached to the SourceMagazine?, or De La’s Grind Date CD had the calendar? That was the shit that had you talkin’. This ninja Young JeezLouise put 3 white circles together on a black shirt to promote himself as the snowman(!?!?!) Ha! Mixtapes are better packaged than the stuff at Virgin Megastore
Yeah, and these cats kill me, with the pink, blue and green drinks at the bar claiming they’re on some grown man sh*t! Only time you drink that stuff is when it’s a Hipnotiq sponsored event, otherwise?…(ll) and you pra’li wear Supra’s!
that don’t look like liver killer, that looks like a bottle of perfume. Weird.
Yo, you are the man!
It does looks like a bottle of perfume.
The poster is a tad bit ridiculous but some people will fall for the okeedoke.
“Remember buying a Funkadelic album and It was like reading a comic book? . . . or De La’s Grind Date CD had the calendar?” – Dirty Jerz
Thanks for the reminder.
l.m.b.a.o…. im cryin over hear my d !!!my gut hurts hurt like hell..hahahahaha .but on the real that shit is better than most of the bs thats out …so sad but so fuckin funny!!!
LOL that you brought up NUVO. I was on the last Jadakiss shoot and I guess he’s also getting a check to endorse this (he didn’t seem psyched about it though) and the NUVO reps were “On their grind” promoting this stuff. Well let me say this didn’t go over well with a classic culture cipher drinker like myself. Dude was like “You’re insulting me with that in front of me. Get some of this.”
To which I respond – “Oh so your ghey ass fizzy pink drink is supposed to be better?”
People its the first drink I ever had a cup of that I felt hungover while drinking it. And I LIKE Wild Irish Rose!!!!!
Hip-Hop 2008. The rappers get tougher and the drinks get gheyer. Go figure.
re: nuvo
they’re pushing that a$$ water like crazy in the clubs. all neyukas drank is lickher anyways so what’s another flavor to add to the mix
re: baby’s baby
son is drinking that nuvo in his styrofoam cups. sprinkled with lean…he ain’t on that drank as heavy as he claims.
re: Laz-D
i am just now waking up from that seizure that the youtube clip gave me. thanks again, Dallas.
Damn, that bottle looks like a big ole glass dildo, nshit, bwahahaha!
L
Yo 40,
I don’t even have ur email address. they took off Star & Buc!! WTF!!!!!
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