HUSTLE & FLOW = SUCKLE & BLOW

I wasted two hours of my life watching this movie over the weekend. I want to tell you good people not to waste your money or your time, but I did that already regarding the SUPERHEAD book and all you people rushed out to buy it. The movie is just a perpetuation of mass media’s marketing of an authentic ‘Black’ lifestyle. The mythic notion that the pimp-drugpusher-criminal paradigm is easily commutable into a rapper is as false as it is destructive. There are NO rappers that were former drugpushers. There are NO rappers that were former gunrunners. O.K., let me revise that statement. There are NO good rappers that were former hardcore criminals. The thought process of counting bars and rehearsing cadences and breathing techniques doesn’t translate into robbing banks to raise recording studio fees.

Believe what you want people, but the numbers don’t lie. A kid flipping burgers at a fast food joint has a better chance a being a rapper than a drug dealer. Street level drug dealers makes far less money than your average grillboy at Burger King when you consider the hours of workshift, associated fees(lawyers, bailbonds, NIKE Air Jordans) and mortality rate. Its no wonder that so many drug dealers still live with their mamas.

If there is one positive thing that I can say about this crappy film its that my cousin, TERRENCE HOWARD is bringing lightskin brothers back to the fore. We had been banished for years since the emergence of MICHAEL JORDAN, DENZEL and WESLEY(and the fact that AL B. SURE and PRINCE were a bit too… ), but now we can walk tall again without having to shave off all of our facial hair.

Here’s a short list of five movies that you could see with a date that would be a better experience than the contrived negro nonsense that is HUSTLE & FLOW…

1) Mad Hot Ballroom
2) Murder Ball
3) Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
4) Mr. & Mrs. Smith
5) Wedding Crashers

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