The Iraqi War is Saving American Lives

Baghdad or Brooklyn?

At this point I think we have had more published deaths from Hurricane Starrkeysha then from the Iraqi War. When all is said and done, I think we might be able to look at the Iraqi War and realize how we saved American lives and most importantly, our American way of life.

Since the first Iraqi conflict, hell since the beginning of the Cold War, the United States has been amassing one of the world’s greatest military complexes. Planes, tanks, bombs, guns and all sorts of the cool paraphernalia that you need to really put your foot into someone’s anus (no homo). After the Vietnam War there weren’t any conflicts large enough to warrant the expenditure of these stockpiles. That is why we kicked Iraq’s azz so thoroughly under BUSH’s first regime. Can you imagine how hard you would lay into JESSICA SIMPSON if you had been celibate for almost two decades? America had to get its rocks off. Nevermind the fact that we told SADDAM to go and take Kuwait back. We were just baiting his dumb azz.

So the next Iraqi conflict jumps off and everybody is complaining and protesting and marching and basically being nettlesome without considering the bigger picture. The U.S. had to bust off. I would rather that the Apache helicopters fly over Baghdad than Brooklyn. If I have a choice of Khandahar or Crown Heights, I will keep it real simple. FUCK KHANDAHAR!

These conflicts in the the Middle East and Africa allow the American Black a few moments of relative solace and peace. While there may come a time when we have to drive an Abrams tank down Eastern Parkway, in the meantime just be glad that these here smart bombs aren’t being shoved inside YOUR azz.

Leave a Reply