dallaspenn.com

or America’s Most Wanted Next Top Mugsot Hairstyle Model.

I don’t know if you kids are up on this or not, but the writers for the program ‘America’s Next Top Model’ have been on strike. Apparently they want to get the same contract that the writers for ‘Flavor of Love’ are using. If you ask me, the writers at ‘FOL’ deserve a better deal because they are smart enough to script the catfight element into some of their episodes(and let’s never forget the hot poop). I always laugh at the fact that most people believe that the shit on these programs really happens organically and not inside the editing room with the director and producers. Anyhoo…

To pick up the programming slack for these striking writers I thought that some of the readers here might be interested in creating our own “reality” show. Here’s the premise… TYRA BANKS is running a halfway house for female convicts. The challenge will be to see which female convict can be the gulliest, most hardbody inmate and return to prison. If a contestant isn’t gully enough, she will be released from the halfway house and returned to her family. The last convict remaining in the house wins.

Here’s how you get involved… All writers will be assigned their character’s mugshot. You have to name them and describe what their criminal background is. The next step is for you to write five sentences of dialogue for your character. You can say and do anything you want, but you have to create only five sentences. My assignment as director of the program will be to stitch all the sentences together in a stream. Think of this project as kind of an experimental internets interactive multi-player ‘exquisite corpse’. Uh, yeah…

Here’s an example…

	BRANDY SUE SIMMONS BRANDY SUE was convicted of ironing her children’s clothes… while her kids were still wearing them. If y’all don’t get from ’round that porch I will fillet y’all with my daddy’s scissors. Who drank the last of the Kool-Aid? I’m gone pee in this container the next time. I told you your honor I stopped passing fake checks when my momma died as respect to her. I once ate a little bit of doodee when I tossed my girlfriends’ salad, strangely, I remember that there was a cherry tomato there too. Yes, I stabbed her with the bank pen attached to that little chain, and I hope she gets bank pen ink poisoning!

---

All of the dialogue for each character won’t appear in the initial episode of course and at the end of every episode I will post a list of the cast members included. This is a pretty ambitious project for me, but all it requires of you is five minutes and a perverse sense of humor. Who feels like having some fun?

This entry was posted on Thursday, August 31st, 2006 at 10:18 am and is filed under Black Bullshit, Fashion Faux Pas, Ghetto Celebs. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.