GHETTO CELEB MATHEMATICS

redmath

Now that Asian youth are wiping up the floor with white kids in the SAT’s and standardized tests guess who is ringing the alarm?!? It wasn’t a problem when Black kids weren’t learning because that fits the supremacy program anyhoo, but now that TAD, CONNOR and HALEY aren’t ranking with RAJESH or SOO LI there seems to be an issue.

There are so many reasons that Black kids can’t learn that I won’t even try to open that box up, but I have known for years that it was time to switch our pitch up in how we attempted to educate the children. Learning has to be rewards based and practical. It reaffirms the reasons why we attend class when we can see a direct correlation to what we learn and how we live. I would love for there to be an increase in vocational studies put back into schools as well as out-of-class field projects that expose children to the world at large. I suppose all of that rhetoric sounds good to the ‘hood, but how do we implement it into the system?

BLU CHEEZ
had an idea to use celebrities to help teach kids math skills since they are too busy spending their millions on items that have no social value. This way there is a relevance to the lesson and current and former pop culture icons can say that they ‘gave back’ to the community. BLU CHEEZ will use these celebrities in different formulas to indicate the various products and remainders that are created from their variable talents. Let’s see some of his examples…

weezle
Spike from Gremlins swagger plus the H.A.M. hand jewelry of SAMMY DAVIS Jr. = LIL’ WEEZLE

beyonceDIANA ROSS’ wig collection plus a huge horse booty = BeYONCE

This is pretty simple stuff. How about trying out some of these harder problems…

beyonceRuPAUL’s singing voice divided by TEDDY PENDERGRASS after hours = NEYO

starThe media exposure of OPRAH WINFREY multiplied by the class of VIVICA FOX = STAR JONES REYNOLDS

didsterKIM PORTER’s reproductive system and PUFF’s ability to make anything famous = The new old Jackson 5 (just watch out for the MICHAEL).


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8 Responses to “GHETTO CELEB MATHEMATICS”

  1. LM says:

    Most creative post of the decade… and very highly advanced math, trigalgebraulus combined with chaos theory

  2. Amadeo says:

    True life is that Skilled Labor is where it’s at. A lot of those industries are full of old men who want to retire and most of the young cats with drive are going to college while the rest are in unskilled labor. I got one of my clients into industrial painting and dude is making bank. All up and down the coast. He’s the youngest in the companies he’s been with and there is a at least a couple decades between him and his co-workers. He is in higer demand and can make more demands about pay than the people I know with degree(s).

  3. Tiffany says:

    Good post Dallas…the entertainers are the only folks who the kids will listen to anyway….unfortunately most of them are kinda dumb so they can’t teach the kids much either….

  4. LM says:

    Piggybacking (no you-know-what) Amadeo’s comment, it’s easy to envision a business organization springing up from a bloc of kids (or block if you like) pursuing expertise in the same or related skilled-labor. They can use the collective, say in a limited partnership, to enhance marketing and encourage business ownership skills, not to mention keep schedules more balanced, while capturing a greater share of available work. The ripple effects would be far greater than when one isolated from the block finds his way there — but more power to him for the time being.

    Is this already happening somewhere?

  5. The class of Vivica?
    Wasn’t she begging for 50’s tool?

    Kim Porter and Diddy are the truth.
    The Combs 5 will be big.

  6. Mr. Dallas your ass should have your own comedy show, I can’t watch those Sambos and Samboettes on BET or DEF Comedy CRAP. You add the two ingredients missing from their routines:1) Humor 2) Intelligence, Peace, Big Up from Big E.

  7. Canibus actually dedicated a song to this method of teaching math: “NIGGONOMETRY” Ernie P.

  8. DJ Flash says:

    That’s Canibus for you – always 8 to 10 years ahead of his time.

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