WIG OWNERS > WIG BRUSHERS: WIGNEY HOUSTON – A WIG OWNING RETROSPECTIVE

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With the news this week that WIGNEY HOUSTON’s former Wig Brushing husband has decided to brush the wig of H-list celebrity fellatio provider, KARINNE ‘Superhead’ STEFFANS, we felt that WIGNEY could now turn a corner, brush the dandruff off her shoulders and start anew. It’s fine for Wig Owners to sometimes do their own brushing too. It’s a way to get to know your wig better with the hope that you’ll be less likely to flip your wig in the future. I am happy for WIGNEY and I hope that we get to hear some new classic songs written by others and performed by her.

In the meantime and in between time we thought that a Wig Owning retrospective might be a good way to see how far daddy’s little girl has traveled on her Wig Owning journey…

wigney BEFORE BOBBY BROWN BRUSHED IT
WIGNEY was perky and bubbly, but in her heart of hearts she longed for someone to brush out the kinks of her Yakky Bob.

wigney EARLY BOBBY BROWN BRUSHING STYLE
In the beginning it looked like BOBBY BROWN had the technique to keep WIGNEY’s wig straight and knot-free.

kerry keys BOBBY BROWN BRUSH CURLS
WIGNEY and BOBBY had something in common and we loved them both. Black America’s redbone princess had made a prince out of New Editions’ rejected stylist.


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WIGNEY never looked so good, but underneath her wig was a scalp with a mean itch. BOBBY was still a good brusher, but he wasn’t cleaning up after the wigs as often due to a few stints in the clink. In his absence some of WIGNEY’s wigs fell into disrepair and had to be thrown away. That was a shame since these were really expensive wigs made from the scalps of blonde Chechen women that were executed for their hair.

wigney BOBBY BROWN LAZY BRUSH
BOBBY was definetly not on his thorough brushing grind any longer and it was beginning to show. Whenever people tried to intervene and get WIGNEY a new brusher she just told them that BOBBY would return to form.

wigney BOBBY BROWN NON-BRUSHED
This was a valley for WIGNEY and she started to realize that she needed a new brusher when she was down to her last wig. She had gone through her entire wig collection in ten short years and now she was left with only one nappy Yak that matched up with a faux fur that she stole from her aunt, DIONNE WARWICK.

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Looks who’s back on top of the Wig Owning game with a brand new Sassy Samantha to brush and style. This time around I hope that WIGNEY uses some patience and discretion when choosing her brusher. I wouldn’t even be mad at her if she got down like ALICIA KEYS when choosing her new brusher.

You know CLIVE DAVIS always keeps a beard in his closet.

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12 Responses to “WIG OWNERS > WIG BRUSHERS: WIGNEY HOUSTON – A WIG OWNING RETROSPECTIVE”

  1. Amadeo says:

    What a long and weird journey it’s been. You know Bobby has fallen off when he drops a seed in Superhead.

  2. Alex2.0 says:

    didnt she “get down like alicia keys” back in the day with her former friend/wig brusher/assistant/robin?

  3. Vik says:

    damn dallas, you are on the money with this one.

  4. Tiffany says:

    Looks who’s back on top of the Wig Owning game with a brand new “Sassy Samantha” to brush and style. LMAO Real wig talk!

    I’m glad for Whitney. Clive is an image King. He’s already got her lookin’ better in a matter of weeks….new wig and all.

    Isn’t Bobby already behind in his child support payments? He can’t afford another kid!

  5. Wignona from Good Times says:

    KOREAN SILKY PERM ALERT!
    that’s right Wigney, you tell ’em like India.Arie sang…
    “I am not my hair”
    she is the voice of choice and she will be back on top…these things just happen…
    all female singers seem like they “go there”
    i can’t wait to see SWSNBN flip her wigs…it’s gonna be crazy…you thought Wigney was foul?
    the dramarama with that chick will prah’lee start popping off in about 3-5 years, ’cause she is just too full of herself!
    imagine that…Beynonsesay a wig brusher…it could happen!

  6. Wignona from Good Times says:

    for real, though, i am proud of Whitney coming back from being crackadosious is quite an accomplishment…crack is de debil!

  7. BaldBeauty says:

    Just plain funny!

  8. esbee says:

    Ch-ch-chaaangesss (c) David Bowie.

  9. prynsex says:

    I am dead on the fucking floor / keyboard.

    When you say “WIGNEY could now turn a corner, brush the dandruff off her shoulders”……….did you mean the “devil’s dandruff” or dandruff, dandruff?! lol

  10. prynsex says:

    And the Bobby Brown Non Brushed………when she was down to the her last wig and the nappy Yak and faux fur she stole from her aunt………..

    D-E-A-D – O-N – T-H-E- F-U-C-K-I-N-G – F-L-O-O-R!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    This might be the last you hear from me, cause I am good as fired -TODAY!

  11. Gee says:

    Er’body thought old Clive was gonna go home and laydown, Fu#k that! Old C still got pull at the “Lay-aAway/Loan a Jewel” shop in New York. He needs to see a return on his initial Wigney investment…Even LaFace must owe him (to be caught in the flash) and be drug in (no pun intended) on the the revitilization plan.

    Now Clive, is gangsta with a capitol G…

  12. the_dallas says:

    ^I’m mad that ‘Face got on a smoking jacket made from my grandmama velvet lampshades.

    and where the fuck thrift shop did Halle copp that golden see-thru wide sleeve turtleneck undershirt?!?

    bitches.

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