I’ve been told that there’s no truth to the rumor that LM will be appearing on the new DIP SET holiday album ‘White Snow Christmas: Crack Rap for Christ Sakes’. Ultimately, that’s too bad because LM may not be the most gifted emcee, but ol’ boy is sharp with the numbers. Even crack dealing rap superstars should have a good accountant.
This is that week that I will make or break some of you fools. With everybody hugging CANDICE’s behind like she were a pair of stripper drawls its time to shake what our momma’s gave us. Just like last week we will have seven games and four (4) bonus points on the table. If you ever believed you could fly this would be the week to get off the ground (no ERIC MANGINA). Here’s your lineup…
CINCINNATI BENGALS @ NEW ORLEANS SAINTS
Bengals roll big in the bayou this weekend. CHAD JOHNSON goes for 500 receiving yards.
PITTSBURGH STEELERS @ CLEVELAND BROWNS
Pittsburgh were the Super Bowl champs last season right?!? Pittsburgh shows some pride in one of the toughest divisions in football.
ATLANTA FALCONS @ BALTIMORE RAY-VENS
I am going with the road dog Falcons because I see Baltimore looking past them.
BUFFALO BILLS @ HOUSTON TEXANS
I’ve got a soft spot in my heart for the Bills this season (no MARV LEVY).
WASHINGTON REDSKINS @ TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS
There’s no reason to think that Washington can win on the road without CLINTON PORTIS. I am still picking the ‘Skins since they all have their spleens.
MINNESOTA VIKINGS @ MIAMI DOLPHINS
The ‘Fins aren’t as bad as we first thought and the Vikes weren’t as good as they thought.
DETROIT LIONS @ ARIZONA CARDINALS
Two words… DILLA LIVES!
BONUS POINTS * BONUS POINTS * PONUS POINTS
Who has the most receiving yards this weekend?
CHAD JOHNSON or ANDRE JOHNSON?
ANDRE JOHNSON
(Winners get 1 pont each)
Who throws the most touchdownpasses this weekend?
JOHN KITNA or DONOVAN McNABB?
JOHN KITNA
(Winners get 1 pont each)
Total combined score for CHICAGO BEARS @ NEW YORK JETS
OVER or UNDER 33 pts
UNDER.
(Winners get 1 pont each)
Total combined score for SAN DIEGO CHARGERS @ DENVER BRONCOS
OVER or UNDER 43 pts
UNDER
(Winners get 1 pont each)
BENGALS…
STEELERS…
FALCONS…
TEXANS…
SKINS (The Start of the Jason Cambell Era. The last spade DC QB won a ring)
VIKINGS (Daunte who?)
CARDINALS…
CHAD JOHNSON
D. NABB (The Pseudo Black QB according to the Philly NAACP)
BEARS – JETS: OVER
CHARGERS – BRONCOS: OVER
14 – # of Blood Vessels Tom Jackson will bust restraining himself from killin “Sleep & Eat” Irvin…
we fly high: (ad nauseum) stop already
BUSHHHHHHHHHHHHHH beer
BRAYLONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
RAY VENNNNNNNNNS (dallas with the asst
TEXUNNNNNNNNNNNNNS (david carr with the asst)
CLINTONNNNNNNNNNNNNN (without the asst (broken hand))
DOL FINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNS ( SABANNNNN if you prefer)
LYONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNS (man-love-for Dilla) 7mile/Curtis
JOHNSONNNNNSSSSS (andre) no brats
DONVANNNNNNNNNNN (oh no no o?)
ADDINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN 15+21=36
and finally ^^^they^Mile^High^and^crunch^that^total^^^OVERRRRRRRR
^^^^ = mountains DAMM THAT’s FLYYY EL A
Bengals
Browns
B-More
Texans
Skins
Miami
Hollywood Lienart
———–
Ocho Cinco
McNabb
Over
Under
With all the damn upsets that go down each week, this pool has gone to hell in some Louie luggage.
Bengals (the bane of my existence–plus I had Chad “Formerly Simon Phoenix” Johnson on my fantasy squad last week)
Go Stillers
Michael Vick is the Nas of the NFL shit–every time people pump him up, they get let down. Not this week. Falcons over Ravens.
After shocking the Chiefs last week, there is no way the Dolphins take down the Vikings. Minnesota unleashes some purple rain on Joey Harrington and Zach Thomas (no Romo)
Lions vs. Cardinals is like “Fergalicious” vs. JJ Fad’s “Supersonic”–2 really cheesed out commidities that bear a striking resemblance to each other. Except the Cardinals are coached by Dennis Green. Lions all day.
BONUS
Chad “Formerly Simon Phoenix” Johnson turns the Superdome into his personal customized grill depot.
Jon Mothaf*ckin’ Kitna, as the Lions vs. Cardinals becomes a one-sided blowout thanks to the Cardinals putrid defense, offensive line, and the check they give out to Dennis Green every week. “We KNEW who the Lions were! We showed y’all who they really ARE!”
Bears vs. Jets= over 33
Chargers vs. Broncos= under 43
Buffalo, who by the way have some of the worst uniforms in the world. Anyone agree?
As Tampa Bay looks ahead to getting Romo’d on Turkey Day, the Redskins squeak one out with rookie QB Jason Campbell aka the young black QB with the whitest suburb name ever.
Don’t mind my Buffalo and Tampa Bay picks in the bonus sections. I’m sniffing glue at my desk at work right now.
Ocho Cinco and Whosyamama n’ nem
Steelers
Ravens (don’t forget who broke Vicks leg)
Bills
Buccaners
Jason Taylor and his Brother in Law n’ nem
I can’t believe I’m doing this but, The Lions
++++
Chad is pissed
Kitna
B v J over 33
SD v D under
Bengals
Steelers
Ravens
Texans
Skins
Miami
Cardinals
CHAD
McNabb
Bears Jets-OVER
San Diego-Denver-UNDER
Drew Brees becomes the second Chargers-grown QB in a row to shred the Bengals. SAINTS.
BROWNS shock Steelers behind Private Kellen Winslow Jr., who is promoted to corporal after the game.
McCalister, Reed, Lewis, Thomas et al. Vick the Falcons. RAVENS.
I’ve got a soft spot in my heart for the TEXANS this season (no CHARLEY CASSERLY).
I hope Campbell-to-Cooley becomes a common touchdown call. This week I think the new QB is in for a hurting. BUCCANEERS.
The Vikings started their collapse early this year. DOLPHINS.
The CARDINALS make a race of it for the #1 pick in next year’s draft. Seriously, wouldn’t you love to see Matt Millen draft a receiver first overall in 2007?
ANDRE
JON
Bears-Jets under
Chargers-Broncos under
Bengals
Steelers
Ravens
Texans
Redskins
Dolphins
Lions
Andre Johnson
D.Mcnabb
over
over
Saints
Steelers
Falcons
Texans
Redskins
Vikings
Lions
Bonus:
Johnson
Kitna
Under
Under
I almost forgot here goes:
Bengals
Steelers
Falcons
Bills
Skins
Miami
Lions
CHAD
McNabb
Bears Jets-OVER
San Diego-Denver-UNDER
Tiffany is very clever with her WR yardage pick. I predict Keith Brooking will have more tackles than Ray Lewis this week.
Saints
Steelers
Ravens
Texans
Bucs
Miami
Detriot
ANDRE JOHNSON
MCNabb
36
37
Saints
Steelers
Ravens
Texans
Bucs
Miami
Detriot
ANDRE JOHNSON
McNabb
OVER
UNDER
Saints! – I think TJ will keep lighting it up on Cincy’s end..
Yellow towels..or towlettes..
Heh..Ray-vens..
Texans…
Tampa…
The Fins
Cards…
BONUS POINTS
Ocho Cinco Mayo!
Nabb!
45 pts..
30 pts Jets, 15 Bears..
27pts
17 chargers, 10 broncos.
cincinatti
cleveland
atlanta
houston
washington
miami
detroit
bears jets over
sd denver under
Bengals
Browns
Ravens
Texans
Bucs
Dolphins
Lions
O.C.
McNabb
Over
Under
**i could have sworn i entered my picks at about 8pm on friday**
anyhoo…
bengals
browns
falcons
texans
washington
miami
detroit
******
chad
donovan
under
over
new orleans
pittsburgh (if willie doesnt have another 70+ yd run, i’ll be disappointed)
baltimore
buffalo
tampa bay
miami
detroit
chad
mcnabb
over
under