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I knew that y’all would be freaky for that vintage poon like ZILLZ and me. It’s just a better feel all around. I remember this baseball mitten that I had for years and I took it outside every spring to play catch with my dad? Before we would go outside to the park my dad would take a little bit of baby oil and rub it into the center cup of the mitt. Dad’s know how to soften up the leather rubbing it well. After he did that the mitt was ready to catch balls.

The same goes for these M.I.L.F.’s that we listed today. You rub these sweet things down with a little oil and they will be catching more balls than you can throw. It’s not about the quantity though, it’s about the intimate feel that only a mother can give. They know how to be tender to us when we need that reassurance, and they can be stern when it’s time to correct our step. Moms are dope. Every woman should be mom. Every man should love a mother, but not his own. We don’t cosign that type of shit here at this site.

M.I.L.F. (from 30yrs old to 49yrs old)

	STACEY DASH Honestly, STACEY DASH’s pics in the recent issue of Playboy turned me out. Didn’t her B.D. CHRISTOPHER WILLIAMS pass away inside the drive thru at a Mrs. Winner’s restaurant in A.T.L.?

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	PHOEBE CATES I wanted to give her my mogwai since way back in the ‘Fast Times at Ridgemont High’ days. Remember that scene when JUDGE RHEINHOLD gets caught out there beating his manhood out to a daydream of her? No brokeback to remembering J.R. masturbating.

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	JASMINE GUY JASMINE owes us a piece of that stinky power U. since the first episode of ‘A Different World’. I am going to try to break the headboard with her forehead for all of the high-yellow AKA cotillion debutantes that would never let me smell it.

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G.I.L.F. (from 50yrs old to 69yrs old)

	SHEILA E. Another one of PRINCE’s ex-ladies whose bath water I would drink from a champagne flute.

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	CYBILL SHEPHERD When she was a teenager she let fat ELVIS beat out her seat. She was from Memphis, he was a god, yada, yada, yada. I would take Burger King’s sloppy seconds so you know I am down to moonlight with CYBILL.

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	FLORENCE HENDERSON Mrs.Brady likes Black rods. Why do you think she spent all those years trying to learn how to fry chicken in Wesson oil? Hey Mrs.Brady, how large was that Black guy that schtooped you last night?

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	LaTOYA JACKSON Do not sleep on LaTOYA. I would hit her before JANET because LaTOYA has a clef in her chin. Clef chin = cum cup.

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G.G.I.L.F. (from 70yrs old to eternity)

	DIAHANN CARROLL Way before she was a bitchy blaristocrat she was an entertainment triple threat. A dancer, a singer and a top shelf pin up model. Put that ‘DreamGirls’ wig on the shelf tonight baby because we are gonna get sweaty and dirty.

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***MOST HONORABLE MENTION***

	EARTHA KITT Catwoman?!? Dig your claws into my back while you make that sexy purring sound.

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This entry was posted on Saturday, December 2nd, 2006 at 12:34 pm and is filed under The Re-Up. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.