al b

I pretend to be a smart guy on the internets, but it’s the readers of this site that are really the smart folks with their antennaes tuned into reality. The big homey 40 DIESEL reminded me what was really at stake during the NFL’s Super Bowl and how a loss by the Colts could have meant another seven years in purgatory for the lightskinned Black man.

The lightskinned Black man has become a dinosaur in recent years, almost extinct and forgotten due to the successes of people like MICHAEL JORDAN, PIDDY, FISTY SCENT and ISAIAH WASHINGTON. If we were ever going to have another chance to lead the Black team we needed someone to break through for us in a big way. No SHEMAR MOORE.

We thought we had TIGER down with us, but then he ups and claims an unknown racial team – Calablanasian?!? Do they even have a basketball squad?

There were tons of lightskinned men defecting from the ranks to join the ‘bi-racial’ team. And I also wondered why nobody claims to be ‘tri-racial’? Oh, yeah that’s right, MARIAH CAREY did once, my badd.

So it was TONY DUNGY versus LOVIE SMITH in the Black Like Me supremacy showdown. House negro versus field negro to determine once and for all if I could mention the name of my hero again. And what do you know? The house negroes got the win. AL B. SURE videos can once again be enjoyed by the masses. Please Blacker people, don’t hate us because we’re lightskint. Hate us because we look better than you.

al b



  1. I Fux says:

    First and NO Homo on this whole post

  2. Wesley Snipes won the ultimate battle for dark versus light-skinned niggas when he stabbed Christopher Williams in his hoe-ass hand on “New Jack City”.

    Me, I’m brown-skinned so I just watch from the sidelines…

  3. miss ahmad says:

    go down south lite skinned is always in style below the mason dixie line….

  4. The 40 Vuitton Don says:


    Wow… this caught me off guard no matter how proper it is. From Tutenkhamen to Trajan Langdon this demographic needs to stand up!!! I wondered what happened to my people? They either “passed” as full blooded Negroes by growing dreads and going extra Afrocentric or they went to wade in the racially ambiguous pool. Thank you DP for saluting the rank and file melanin defencient Negroe who have held their ground. Now if you can track down the cute dancer chick from the “Hey Young World” and “OPP” videos so I can maintain this lineage.

    “Oooh This Love Is So” has been the most consistent New Jack R&B slow jam since I was in Giorgio Brutini’s with the turtleneck and cardigan. I rounded second base to that at the Valentine’s Day dance to a a cute little green eyed canary in ’88. Unfortunately her mother hated me and she wound up with some ninja who left her with 3 kids.

    PS – I hope this doesn’t devolve into “School Daze” beef of “Wannabees vs. Jiggaboos” Seen here –

  5. Combat Jack says:

    Word to Herb my nigga? Not on my effin watch! Big shout out to the darked up homie Tyson Beckford who started the cot damned Maroon movement! No Al Reynolds!

  6. FaTBoY says:

    *House negros vs. Field negros*

  7. sasha says:

    LoL my black assed man might leave me for laughing in his face. bad enough his baby bro tried to tell me i used up all his yellow paint in a portrait he did of me, but they WHOLE black famlay was pulling for lovie. with his pasty anglo wife. word to big bird, lovie kids gone be lighter than me. prolly not by much though.

    errbody cross your fingers that i give mr. me a light skinnt son with that peezy hair he cain’t stand. he said that’d be a crime against humanity, but it would make my millenium! stay light my peoples!

  8. Eloheem Star says:

    You Beige Kats kill me with the bullshit. You dudes is winning….Russell Simmons,Colin Powel, Bob Marley;Barak Obama,Tiger Woods,Terrence Howard,Tyler Perry, Jay Z and Nas. I was just reading today how people with lighter skin tend to make 10k more a year than their darker peers in America.
    Light skin brothers is making a come back = You darkees aint supposed to have shit.

    If you aint winning explain why Ice T continues to get acting jobs. Take your time I’ll Wait.

  9. NoMamesBuey says:

    yo if a lightskinned dude makes a joke about darkskin African-American folks, does he need to throw a “no KKKramer just in case” disclaimer?

    Quite an interesting philosophical question

  10. The 40 Vuitton Don... says:

    Cats think its an easy road for us, I remember as a kid having to scrap with the darker brothers because there was (sorry IS) this silly notion that skin tone denotes how down or gully you are. If I wasn’t dealing with that I had (sorry, still HAVE) to explain to white folks “Yes I’m really black”. I felt even worse for my sister at times because she would catch major hell over the “good hair” and “high yella heifer” and was threatened from time to time by neighborhood Bonequeesha’s who through some insecurity of their own “just didn’t like her redbone ass”.

    Seriously though, the 90’s were an interesting period for the lighter shade of brown, with the back to back era of Afrocentric hip-hop which was subverted into urban action rap by music COINTELPRO the mainstream consciousness had no use for the fair Negro because outside of iconography of Brother Malcolm it was either about pround Nubian/I AM AN AFRICAN! or you gotta/wanna/needa RUFFNECK none were personified by us ruddy Negroes.

    So what happens? You either “nap-up” your “good hair” and show you’re “down”, or get a baldie and shed those “good” locks and get your bootleg Onyx or early Jiggerman on. Both looks eschewed the “classic” yellow nig look of the natural curl and “smooth look” of Redhead Kingpin, Al B., Christopher Williams, Tony Terry, or Johnny Kemp (wait scratch that ugly dude!). Even then though the skin tone showed our “lack of berry sweetness” (guess it ain’t all sweet!) and our stock plummeted like Martha Stewart Omnimedia. But in the words of our favorite psuedo-Cuban Antonio Montana….

    DASS OK!!!!!!!!

  11. Vik says:

    yeah my dudes. light skin may be your ticket out. a study demonstrated that each lighter shade of skin was equivalent to one year of education. short story: light skint folks make more money. damn.

    marinate on that one for a minute.

  12. Combat Jack says:

    White man keeps winning. All this bs still going on and they got the nerve to say get over slavery! Fucked up thing is that in Haiti, lights actually “know” they’re white. Now that I think about it, I might just have to smack a white and a light on my way to work 2day, just to get shit off my chest! No Colin Ferguson.

  13. Eloheem Star says:

    I’m not mad at the beige dudes my son is beige. We are taught the House Negroe serves a great purpose. He’s the only one that can get close enough to poison the master’s food.

  14. Lion XL says:

    Eff you yellow dudes!! I’m still bitter. When ya’ll had ya AL B and Chris Williams representin, them young ingnant chicks would size my handsome ass up against some yellow dude with yellow teeth and bad breath, and still bounce with the yellow dude. Just cuz he was yellow…..Big ups to Wesley Stabbing dude in the hand, it was the beginning of your demise….

    pretty motherf***er, never liked you any way…..Classic

  15. Lion XL says:

    And come to think of it, my mother recently told me story of her childhood that I never knew.
    My Grand mother had my mother young, about 16 or so. My Grand mother is beautiful nappy headed black Panamanian woman. My mother is a beautiful nappy headed light-skint black Panamanian woman. They called her China because she had slanted hazel eyes, Most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Seems that when she was growing up in panama, they too needed corrective lenses when it came race, because wherever they went they treated my mother like she was white, and my grand mother like she was the Nanny. One hot day a stranger even offered to drive my mother down the street home, but he wouldn’t let my grand mother near the car..

    So even though I love my mom to death, I still hate ya’ll yellow dudes. Yellow and Red boned women are hot though…..

    BTW who knows the difference between yellow and red-boned?

  16. Uncle 40 - "Future of the Drunk" says:

    Interesting story Lion… Its interesting what you find out about your family as time goes on and you’re old enough to comprehend it. One of the good family chuckles we had when my late grandmother passed is that her birth certificate says “White” under her race. My great-grandmother was mixed and very fair and in order to get better medical assistance in 1910 when she was having trouble with her pregnancy with my grandmother, my great grandparents decided it was in the best interest of her to “pass” and get help. So when she was born the hospital thought nothing and stamped her as a white child. So in the comedic amazement of that my aunt breaks the silence by saying “So thats why Mommy always hated niggas!!!”

  17. Gee says:

    As a former redbone, I could never come to grips with my field status…
    I think I still have issues.

  18. sasha says:

    real talk, society is subconsciously polarizing us. mainstream (YT) exalts/accepts those who have a fairer complexion. they deem us more appealling, more intelligent, just a better choice in general. i suspect it’s because they can see a part of them in us.

    thats where inside division occurs. because we so deeply resent the majority’s ignorant preferences we go with the complete opposite. because we so deeply resent the majority we resent the fairer hued people. i know i hated getting preferential treatment in classrooms for being light. i know i hated when my greasy ass teacher combed my hair in the front of class as i read to my classmates. that shit aint make it easy on me. i know i give my yellow brethren the automatic stink eye until i can gage where they at. if they think they special cause they yellow i don’t fool with them. ever since i can remember i’ve preferred dark people. i have more vested in their success and i take more pleasure in their successes. men and women alike.

    my two cents on the divide. will never hold a fellow yellow down, but will support a browner baby because i feel like society does the complete opposite.

  19. sasha says:

    i lied. my grandma had a black assed friend named carole that i wouldn’t let within ten feet of me as an infant, and i cried when my momma bought me an old school BLACK baby doll. that mug was ugly.

  20. LM says:

    @ Sasha: you think it’s “subconscious” on society’s part? If white people had as expansive a vocabulary to describe skin tone, I think it’d be shown as quite conscious.

  21. sasha says:

    i do think it’s subconscious. many white people genuinely believe that they are okay with black people and doing us all a service when they help out a yellow. “the light one’s are black too.” yellows are just equated maybe with the upper eschelon of blacks regarding IQ and class standing with both categories decreasing as melanin increases. but conversely athleticism increases with melanin. it’s doubtful you’ll find someone white willing to co-sign the stmt, but i suspect they do realize they feel this way. or better yet they know these things to be true.

    subconsciously polarizing blacks as a people is another thing. if more white people knew the true amount of power they wield it’d blow their minds. if they understood the amount of energy we use in diffusing fires they started. drug epidemic aside i don’t think white people are out to get us. shitty schools, the hypersexualization of black people, and (c)rap music isn’t a personal affront. it’s an economic move. we’re pawns on their chessboard. their bottom line and their profits are their concern. they care less about black people getting ahead or getting along. if we do, then we do. when we don’t thats not their problem or fault either. in their opinion.

  22. sasha says:

    and by true i mean “true” in the minds of warped people.

  23. Eloheem Star says:

    All I get is the HIgh Yellas. My theory is that Light skin sistas gravitate towards me because (1) being with a dark skin brother validates their “blackness”. (2) Light Skin females hope when the have offspring with a dark male the children will come out somewhere in the middle.

    Real talk no matter what my peoples say I prefer Dark Skin Sistas. Visually i’ll pick Yaya over Eva every time.

    Is it just me or does it seem that dark skin “African American” Couples seem rare in the last 10-20 yrs?

  24. Juliette Cleménts says:

    Ha! This is soooo funny. Anyway, as a member of team of Wannabee, I also believe that skin color determines a lot in life. I don’t think that this is fair but it doesn’t seem to change in the future. My ex-rooomate was from Barbados and every night she would apply bleaching cream to her face- sadly, her body does not match her face. My mom raised be to act my “race” not my skin color, but it easy to distinguish the favors given to those who are lighter. My boyfriend is dark-skinned and my aunt has a voodoo charm, praying that we will break up.

  25. Uncle 40 - "Future of the Drunk" says:

    When 5 generations of the men before you set the blueprint by having constantly wifed a chick lighter than themselves what does their ecru toned offspring turn to?

    *watches “The Human Stain*
    *feels conflicted everytime I eat a black & white cookie*
    *asks what would Smokey Robinson do*

  26. Amadeo says:

    I’ve gotten darker over the years…but I suffered when “The Blacker the Berry the Sweeter the Juice” became a rallying cry. I’m tired of having to flip the description…caramel complected screams for a no homo everytime.

  27. Candice says:

    My husband is on team yellow. The only yellow guy I ever dated and lo and behold….I married him. Score one for Dungy. Ya’ll have a lot of catching up to do. Welsey Snipes, Denzel and Michael Jordan almost extinguished you guys.

  28. get fresh says:

    Yeah I wrote about this a few weeks ago on my blog. Those house niggas are trying to make a come back!

  29. Eloheem Star says:

    When the woman who would eventually be my son’s grandmother found out a darky sperm infiltrated her precious yellow daughter she caught the next thing smoking to Haiti to put a voodoo curse on me and my unborn son. I believe I was supposed to be sterile, poor and my son would never make it out of the womb alive. 6 years later she dosen’t understand why she is not allowed around my son who has never been sick a day in his life unattended. I tell her she should go back to Haiti and get her money back.

  30. Damn DP, you hit the Negro Nerve with this post.

    Let’s keep the light-skinned movement strong!
    Notice how Dungy AND Prince owned the Superbowl.

    Fall back crispies!

  31. Uncle 40 - "Future of the Drunk" says:

    I think no matter what shade we are, we’re not this ninja right here…

  32. "D" says:

    Light vs Dark….WHO CARES!!! We are African Americans, we come in all colors. Stop this Willie Lynch maddness!! Bigots, Klansmen, Skinheads all see us as the same. It doesn’t matter if you are dark or light, straight hair or course we are all beautiful. Why is there the division. We should all come together as one to help make our race stronger and stop tearing it apart.

  33. cathy says:

    This is so utterly absurd to run into this sight and to see and hear all the things that I am hearing. People! what have we become. It is a know wonder whites speak of us the way they do. Because of our words and actions towards each other. So they treat us in like manner. I am a dark skinned African American with what they call the “good hair” during my childhood years, i have never sensed or experienced any negative vibes or even the name calling. I was considered a pretty! little girl. During my adolescent years was I say, a step up. I would hear comments such “that’s a pretty black girl”, I had the pretty skin, quiet, etc. Older men would say, “when she grows up she is going to be beautiful”, I would always hear “beautiful hair, pretty girl, etc, etc. Young adult years, more of the same people would say, who did you take after mother or father, you have pretty eyes, pretty hair, skin? Things of that nature is what I have experienced. My best friend is light skinned and so is everyone of her siblings and mother, her father is dark skinned. She did not have the “good hair”, but I never felt oppositional toward her, the issue never came up, I never sensed anything, there was no need it was non-existent in my world because I have never experienced the reason I hear some dark skinned people speak of. Out of six of my siblings only one is light skinned (youngest sister and sibling), very pretty, course hair. My father is dark skinned/good hair. My mother is light skinned. So I am not understanding a lot of what is being said here, is it in their own minds, that they are making this a big issue or is it what they are going through now, alot of us have and I admit have been conditioned to feel and think that light skinned is superior. I sensed that from my mother when I became an adult in my twenties, I am now 30+ and she makes me feel as though lighter means prettier. She always spoke of my youngest sister as her Brooke Shields with the nice thick eye brows. Light skinned women are becoming so bold as to say outwardly and openly now a days that they are prettier, and that most dark skinned people are ugly. Meanwhile I am the one that would get asked if I am from the Islands, indian or what is my nationality. You have to be confident within yourself, embrace who you are because when you do such it exudes and rubs off on others. Put your chin up and be proud. GOD doesn’t make mistakes. We are who we are and that is a beautiful people light or dark. Please respond!

  34. the_dallas says:

    Good hair jigs steady talking that “whats the fuss?”

  35. 40 says:

    ^^^Relax Ma. Everyone here who responded all have a healthy sense of who we are no matter what shade of spook we may be. What I think this drop and the responses show is a refection of the spectrum of blackness and how you either empower or cower to the responses we give and get on our skin tone. I think that this notion is one that will definitely die faster than the “N-Bomb Controversy” in our community and I think where we tend to laugh off too many of our tragedies and foibles this is one where all of us darkies regardless of shade can sit around and confident and stable adults and have a nostaligic chuckle over it…

  36. the_dallas says:

    What up homey? You pwned this thread from the gate.

    I think this situation is bigger than the N-word since this describes how people inwardly view themselves.

    Dungy got to hold us dddddown this weekend.

  37. 40 says:

    ^Word to Thurgood Marshall.

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