Back In The Day, When I Used To Beat My Tiger…


After reposting that Valentine’s Day love letter to my O.G. beatbox wifey status VANESSA WILLIAMS I began to reminisce on all the chicks that I wanted to hit before I even knew what hitting chicks was about. All I knew was that these chicks made my lil’ man feel tingly inside so I would have to rub it out.

Who remembers Tiger Beat magazine? That joint was the precursor to Right On! and Black Beat magazines. They would have all the exclusive pictures of the teen stars on the come up along with gossipy stories about first kisses and secret crushes. That was then, this is now. A teen magazine nowadays had better have advertisements for contraceptives and alcohol if it wants to stay relevant to the kids. How sick was it that the mag to rep for the brothers was called Black Beat? Anyhoo, this drop is for all the ladies that helped me get right before I knew how to really get right.

She was the jump off when I wasn’t buying comic books and collecting Star Wars figures. She was like the BeYONCE of the late seventies. There wasn’t a teen magazine that didn’t have her on the front cover. Further proof that she was the bomb is the fact that her birthday is September 11th.

erin gray ERIN GRAY
ERIN GRAY was the hot chick on the new Buck Rogers television series. She always ran around the spaceship in a spandex space suit that was unzipped down to the navel. The one good thing I can say about the future is that there will still be a place for sluts.



police woman ANGIE DICKINSON
Holler at me if you remember that show ‘Police Woman’? My dad loved that show so if I wanted to watch television on the night it was on that is what I would be watching. ANGIE was a hardbody bitch on that show too. Homegirl had been a playboy model and rumor has it that she balled out with JOHN F. KENNEDY too. ANGIE is also Libra so that increases her freakazoid factor exponentially.

police woman

Her name was LOLA, she was a showgirl. LOLA FALANA was a moreno Cuban seductress from Camden, New Jersey. She could act, dance and sing like no triple threat talent before her time. LOLA is another chick born on September 11th. No wonder the a-rabs used that day to wile out, they were honoring birthdays of seventies sexpots KRISTY McNICHOL and LOLA FALANA.



Just to be clear with you chumps, I never sweated PUNKY when she was little, but I knew when she got older that I would want to smash. You ever see those ‘Got Milk’ ads? PUNKY had such big milk cans that she had to have a reduction. Check the pic of this crazy Hawaiian dude with his hand on PUNKY’s goodies. Now that’s what I’m talking about.



43 Responses to “Back In The Day, When I Used To Beat My Tiger…”

  1. says:

    cosign esp on punky, lola, and DIFF STROKES!! hahah….but what about Vanity?!

  2. miss ahmad says:

    i had a crush on kristy mcnicol too, little did i know she was umm…a queer girl playing a queer girl. quite a feat for her time if you think about it!

  3. Eloheem Star says:

    I used to beat off on some of those females too. Looking back, it seems like we didn’t have much to work with.

  4. the_dallas says:

    ^Yeah, the seventies was slim pickins. Shit got better in the eighties.

  5. Do the Math! says:

    who is the dead/fallen person in the inset pic by “Willis”?

  6. Voyeurizm says:

    Kudos on naming Erin Gray, and Soliel Moon Frye (Punky Brewster) remember her tits got so big she had to get reduction. But yeah Erin Gray she was up ther with my favorites Linda Carter, Daisy Duke, the chick from Matt Houston and Buck Rogers (she played the Evil cHick) and the goddess Pam Grier. Yeah but Krist Mcnicol was still bangin til the early 90’s check out her thighs and cleavage in that movie Two Moon Junction.

  7. Voyeurizm says:

    Yeah my bad didnt see you already mentioned the reduction i didnt read that part i was just reminicing cause she was hot as hell, but yeah looking at her back then you wouldnt know she was gonna be hot just like Ravine Simone, but when lil Olivia turned 14, well call me Sir Robert Kelly.

  8. Drunk Unc 40 says:

    Thank you Dallas for shouting out some classic TV chicks of yore that confounded and made my Underoos shift as a yoot. Does anyone know who the chick with Todd Bridges is? Its not the late Dana Plato but she caught a fair amount of TV work back in that era. I mean it could be pertinent information if I catch her working the lunch shift at The Spearmint Rhino next time in Vegas. I’d also like to use this forum to shout out the OG of all these bishes – Julie Newmar (sorry Eartha you were slamming but Jules takes the cake…)

  9. Amadeo says:

    I’m gonna have that song stuck in my head all day know. “At the copa…copa cabana!”

    For real though I beat half the turn on with Punky Brewster is the name. Ya’ll know you would beat her bottom and call her Punky.

  10. Combat Jack says:

    Dayum, Kristy McNichols was that crack! You get points for that one as I thought I was the only one feenin’ for her pink.

  11. LM says:

    No Valerie Bertinelli?

    I can’t fathom now why I had something for Heather Thomas. Had her poster on my bedroom wall and all.

  12. the_dallas says:

    you ain’t lying about Valerie Bertinelli either, but dayum, I already posted madd white meat. V.B. was a straight up cutie too.

  13. Combat Jack says:

    Dayum, almost prematurely creamed at the very effin mention of V.B. Can’t forget about her!!!

  14. Candice says:

    Uh hello…can the ladies get a post when you are done playing with your lotion and Punky Brewster? 🙂

  15. Combat Jack says:

    ^”Uh hello…can the ladies get a post when you are done playing with your lotion and Punky Brewster?”

    Uh…. No!!!

  16. the_dallas says:

    Yeah, I need to do a special drop about her and Olivia Newton-John.

    The mid to late seventies didn’t really have no sisters that made me wanna get my meat fixed, Donna Summer was too trannyish for me even though I wouldn’t have known one if I saw one, but the eighties brought me back to the Black.

  17. Combat Jack says:

    What about Jaclyn Smith from Charlies Angels? I always thought she knocked Farah out the effin box!

  18. the_dallas says:

    Jaclyn Smith was holding it down for sexy brunettes until that chick from Sex & The City came along. Kristin Davis has a fat seat on the low too. Rick Fox is reported to be smashing that now. That son of a bitch is effing all my broads.

  19. DW Smooth says:

    Wait a sec! The evil chick on Buck Rogers was Princess Ardala and she was hooooot! Haven’t thought about her for a minute!
    BTW, The ladies can get a post when the ladies decide to post something. Until then this is a post about our favorite chicks on TV in the 80s!

  20. Combat Jack says:

    I know we’re rapping the ’70’s, but since I was catching the ’60’s re-runs back in the day, Barbera Eden of “I Dream Of Jeannie” fame was effin wit a lil nigga’s knuts bad, all dolled up in the Djinn outfit and what not.

  21. Drunk Unc 40 says:


    Julie Newmar >>> Barbara Eden…

  22. Combat Jack says:

    Eartha Kitt >>> Julie Newmar>>> Barbara Eden

  23. Combat Jack says:

    Since we’re going waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back, all them green, yellow, blue and purple bitches that William Shatner balled on Star Trek was the piff. Funny how dudes name is SHAT -ner. Heh heh. (Beavis and Butthead laugh).

  24. the_dallas says:

    Peep homey’s natural from the Buck Rogers TV series. Flambay.

  25. Drunk Unc 40 says:

    ^^CJ funny thing about SHAT-ner my homie had an auto’ed Willie Shat 8 x 10 that said “Good Luck!” he’d keep it over the shitter for inspiration…

    Shatner > Jeezy

  26. Combat Jack says:

    ^”Peep homey’s natural from the Buck Rogers TV series. Flambay.”

    Oh Shit, it’s fucking Birdmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

  27. Combat Jack says:

    ^ “Shatner > Jeezy”

    I didn’t make the connection, please explain.

  28. Candice says:

    Damn…dudes get ill when discussing the 70’s poon. Noted to self.
    ****Backing ALL THE WAY out of your post**** Sorry boys.

  29. Combat Jack says:

    Candice, back in the ’70’s, going into the ’80’s me and my crew from Lincoln Place (bet. Albany & Troy) used to ride our bikes down to your end of BK (E. 54th Street) to mess with some chicks who in retro were whack as all eff. One a the chicks name was Alpha? Man, we’d do anything just to smell it. We also used to hang on President and Utica (the West side of the block) cause a fine chick from our block (Diane Pryor) moved there. Finally, I used to try to score from some (Carmen and her sister Migdalia) Rican chicks on the corner of Carroll and Utica. All of this was around your way, right?

  30. Candice says:

    I grew up on Midwood btwn Utica and Schenectady. Strict Caribbean ,other so I didn’t get to venture up the hill (Utica) 🙂

    But yes, that is definitely around my way. My best friend grew up on Eastern Parkway and Troy so I did hang over there.

  31. Candice says:

    ,other =Mother

  32. Combat Jack says:

    Eatern Parkway and Troy proper (on the South Side) from like ’73 remains to this day to be GULLY. I repped two cats from there who went on to have their own record deal and were even down with Jigga by the name of Wyze and Dark, together known as the Rhanjerz (“Rangers) (“If I Should Die” – Hard Knock Life – Vol. 2). You know them? Btw, wifey grew up on Midwood bet. Bedford and Flatbush. Also had a school boy crush on two sisters fron Union and Troy by the name of Juanita and Jo-Ann Jiminez. Heard Juanita passed away a few years ago. Sound familier or is this way b4 yer time? I am a bit long in the tooth.

  33. Candice says:

    I’m 37 (38 this year…shhhh) is that in the same time frame? Clark Kent (Tony)hung on Eastern Parkway and Troy. I’ve known him for years. He hung out with my best friends brother.

  34. Combat Jack says:

    Funny! Clark is my nigga igga igga since we was on the grind together to get Jay a deal! He’s the one that intro’d me to the Rhanjerz. Repped dude until I walked away from the biz, and he’s still got me working on some of his contracts on the side to this day. I knew we (you and I) was peoples. Did you attend his wedding or most recently his 40th uptown at the River Cafe?

  35. Combat Jack says:

    Shit, we even did Japan together (nullus). I mean DID Japan!

  36. the_dallas says:

    Awww damn Candice! You done got this fool all misty eyed for Brooklyn…

    Combat Jack is the unofficial mayor of Brooklyn, even Marty Markowitz knows dude.

  37. Combat Jack says:

    ^ Yessir! You know it like a poet!

  38. Drunk Unc 40 says:

    CJ – It was a comparison to who’s the better “inspiration”. Young Jeezy’s “The Inspiration” album or an auto’ed Willie Shat 8 x 10 that said “Good Luck!” he’d keep it over the shitter for inspiration (on the bowl)…

  39. Candice says:

    Combat…you old softie…LOL

    I haven’t seen Clark Kent since a party I went to in early 2000. He has always been a nice guy. My best friend and I would go to parties and because he knew her older brother, he always kept an eye out for us and made sure we got home safely. A true gentleman. I mean he did try to holla every now and then but he was still respectful 🙂

  40. Combat Jack says:

    ^”I mean he did try to holla every now and then but he was still respectful”

    Well you know, spread love is the Brooklyn way!

  41. Candice says:

    ^and if ya don’t know…now ya know…

  42. Combat Jack says:

    Just spoke to Clark. He said whaddup! Also said you was some Brownskin goodness.

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