Editor’s note: The Ambassador takes some time away from her semester’s finals to tell us how she really feels about social inter-network websites.
There’s no doubt in my mind that the internet has revolutionized life as we know it. I’m bustin’ my ass over here trying to bang out research papers because it’s finals time, and I realized that without the internet I’d be about as lost and doomed as a blind lemming. The internet is good.
But fuck a “social networking” site.
I don’t say this for the typical reasons such as the fact that they’re breeding grounds for child molesters and sex predators, odd stalker-type hermits, aspiring amateur porn stars, and musicians who will never make it out of their mothers’ basements. I say this because these sites can very easily fuck up a relationship.
I used to have a myspace. Hell, I used to have a Facebook account too. Two at once! I was bold. I logged in damn near every day.
I was a dumbass.
I have never come across a more drama-causing side effect of technology in my 19 years of life than the phenomenon known as the social networking website. Let’s focus on myspace this time around. People would hit me up complaining that they weren’t in my “top 8”. Like that shit really matters in life, right? Then you get your so called “friends” that hit you up every month or so saying, “Hey bitch, I haven’t seen you in so long! How you been? Call me, let’s chill sometime!” …Except you know that it’s never going to go down, and another month will pass and you won’t ever see them. Unless their car breaks down, or they need $20 to help pay their electric bill. Then they’ll come around.
But all that shit is just a chip off the melting icebergs up in the Arctic Circle that will eventually (supposedly) cause hell on Earth (once again, another post for another day). The absolute worst time to have a myspace account is when you’re in a serious romantic relationship. If you’re extremely lucky and find yourself in a relationship with zero trust issues whatsoever, you may end up OK. But the second you make even the slightest fuck-up in a relationship, your myspace page may prove to be your worst enemy.
Think about it – your significant other can hit up your page and see damn near everybody you talk to. All your ex’s that you have as friends, that girl you met at the club and worked the walls for a night only for her to e-stalk you ever since, your family (sisters, cousins, whoever), your close friends… that really has the potential to end badly. On top of that, the most random of people are known to leave some stupid ass comments on the regular. You don’t even want to know how many comments I’d get from guys I hadn’t talked to in years on my page going “Hey sexy, how’s that fine ass doing? Call me, we can chill at my place and give the neighbors something to listen to…”. Oh yeah, if your (wo)man sees that right after you have a fight? They’re going to start wondering. Jealousy ain’t a good look, but damn if it ain’t a common occurrence.
You could always set your page to one of those private joints so then only your friends can see it (which will only work if your other half doesn’t have an account), but then that just makes you look like you have something to hide. Guilt ain’t really a good look either.
And don’t even get me started on the psychotic-type (wo)men in the world who will try to be slick and start up fake accounts and hit you up under some fine-looking alias, pulling shit like hitting on you and asking to meet up or offering you some ass just to see what you’d do or say. Fam, mind games are *not *cool. One wrong move and you’re done. And real talk, if you have
someone in your life trying to pull that kind of stunt on you, you should be seriously debating getting away from them anyway. Not a good situation at all, plus it has the potential to lead to…
…the craptastic ex who resembles the gossiping spawn of Satan. You know, the one who can’t keep their mouth shut, and posts all your business on myspace after you break up. That…well, that doesn’t need much explanation. Ouch. Even a fat blunt filled with that presidential weed that Obama was smoking back in the day wouldn’t help the kind of headache you’ll get when you realize that the whole world is going to know about every embarrassing moment you experienced while in that relationship.
Let’s face it – back when the only simple means of communication was a telephone (and a non-cellular one at that), and the easy access to one night stand material via the internet didn’t exist, I bet relationships were a lot easier to handle. Not saying they were simple back then, but surely the internet has drastically altered the dynamics of romance.
And since winter break is coming for all of you college students, here’s something to do when you’re bored and snowed in: hop on myspace and search out your old high school. Peep out what some of the people who you used to know or see around the way are up to. I guarantee you’ll get some laughs. It’s amazing what information people throw out to the world. Hell, one of my very good friends from back in the day is a stripper now. Fellas, if you see her in the club, slip a few extra dollar bills in that g-string for me. She was cool peoples.
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The Ambassador says… “DP Dot Com IS the social network!” |
sound a lil’ bitter. I se where you’re coming from though. My girl doesn’t have a myspace page but I do. I let her watch me check my page and inbox. i have nothing to hide. If she has question I answer it for her. But if she got on some jealous shit then I would just have to nip that in the bud.
Yo This is the realest shit you ever wrote. I dont fux with myspace/facebook or any of that ish. Honestly I got dumped cuz I had a blog with mad wild stories that basically I kept very vague. Whatever though, I dont care if my girl has a myspace that ish is for the birds. My Pimp and My Limp dont need “Social Networking”
Bassy : The truth. It’s more headache than it’s worth and is self induced stress. Worst part they included on the site was being able to stalk your own messages to see if the person’s read it yet. If they have and didn’t respond I get those Hulk flashes and feel like “Bitch why haven’t you responded.”
Black : I feel you letter her in, but fuck, my friends who give their email passwords and shit like that seems like a setup for future nosiness. Is it that they don’t trust us from go? Shit, I’d rather show the girl what types of pr0ns are on my regular than personal messages that don’t have shit else to do with her.
http://www.thetruth.com
Just did a long overdue task, and closed down my page, on the strength of this post.
Job well done.
Myspace is for the young grandma’s now-a-days.
DP is the truthiest site!
Amen.
Myspace is not for social networking. It’s a place to look for dome.
You can’t make money off people who can’t afford their own websites or who are too lazy to make real blogs. They ain’t paying you and you ain’t paying them. You can only trade comments and look for freaks, and it all comes back to your significant other. Always.
I still have mine, but all I do is check messages, add friend requests and KIM. No time for fake ones.
Try this: work with young people and have them find your page and start sending you friend requests. I’ve seen their pics…none will be added.
UMm, I have no Myspace page. Why? It was the cause of the biggest drama in my 20s. Okay, one of the biggest dramas. Can we see scandal on Internet pages??? Very disgusting. I won’t touch it again with a ten-foot pool.
Good post mamas, but…
myspace.com/itsdahshyt
haaaaaaaa
hahahaha….
haven’t logged in my facebook and myspace accounts for awhile now…..
*considers removing myspace forever*
or then again…I might just keep it….just so I can laugh at fools all day…..
Co-SIGN!!!!
I’m damn near scarred and scared of teh MySpace Monster…God Knows I’ve done my share of dirt…I’d hate to see it aired out anymore than it has been already…
Yeah SNS are big fuxxing waste of time. Here is also a great article about the class divisions of MySpace and Friendster:
http://desedo.com/blog/2007/11/13/cubicle-quaaludes/
I only joined MySpace to advertise my blog. My ex-husband found me and is doing all the fabulous craptastic things you mentioned above. And, even worse, he captured a pic of mine and has it in his photo gallery under “my second wife.” Makes me wanna drink.
L
1) Your page continuously gets bugs/virues/trojan thingees (very technical terms here people).
2) Blackplanet was much better for getting domage (again, techy!). Myspace is so open/transparent, that even the sluttiest folks feel compelled to act wholesome.
3) Laughing at people is/was hella fun though. I can still do that via my wife’s page though. Last weekend, she got a friend request from some dude in Oakland (must have found her through the trusted “search by zip code” feature). Dude had so many mispelled “hustler code” statements, and the most hilarious “money pile” background setting.. We were literally crying. All the while, we know he takes it SOOO serious. LOL.
“I’m all about staking the Gwap!” (Boy you from Oakland, not Harlem, STFU).
4) I’ve noticed that certain lonely/shy women put HELLA faith in the guys they meet on myspace. A coworker of mine ultimately sent 10G’s of GWAP (lol) to a guy in Nigeria this year. He was supposedly her neighbor (but really just listed his zip as one near her), just off on a journalism assignment. Eventually she was really calling him her boyfriend. based on 70% myspace messaging, 25% email via cell phone (clue: No texts), and 5% phone calls. So basically myspace is like crack for a desperate woman. Taking all the good desperados out of the market place!
chuuch.
pardom me: “chuuch on the move!”
All hail the Ambassador!! This shit is soo real! If Dave Chappelle was still doing his show, I guarantee he would include something like this in Part 2 of his Internet Skit.
..and the sermon continues. Salute Dp.
appaluds myself, for getting rid of myspace a while back….facebook is next..good post.