Repeat that headline with me using the Mr. Mackey from South Park voice.
I was invited to an obama last Friday, but I declined for the Roots show at the Apollo. An obama on a Friday nite is something more rare than a lunar eclipse. And way more fun.
The obama was being sponsored by Stolichnaya vodka. I remember being at some party that Stoli was throwing to introduce their flavored vodkas. That was when my homegirl JoJo McQueen put me on to the Stoli Vanilla. After about a half dozen rounds of the Stoli V and tonic I looked to try another flavor. My ass was already a little tipsy when I saw this pinkish orange label.
Dayum! Stoli Ovary!? Them folks in Russia gets they freak on for real. I did kind of wonder what that tasted like though. Until I saw this bottle…
Stoli Dingleberi?!?
[ll], or no como Louganis, in long form.
I haven’t effed with Stoli since. When my money gets right I fucks with teh Belvedere (or Chopin). And when my folks at ThinkTank Marketing hit the kid off with a top-shelf obama I gets in where I fits in. Leave that flavored shit to the amateurs that go to Times Square for the New Years’ Eve.
A drunken blogger is a focused blogger. I raise my Corona in salutation. C’entanni!
I can’t mess with the Stoli or Absolute. I rock with the Grey Goose or Kettle One, now that’s some good shit. Peace.
No Stoli for me. This Trini gyal sticks to the Ten Cane Rum and fresh squeezed pineapple juice.
Not gonna lie… Stoli Vanil w/ ginger ale is pretty damn good. I had it at this old-people party (like grad-school age. But these were mostly School of Government students. Not fun people at *all*…). It tasted just like cream soda, and I don’t even like cream soda! Halfway through the night, you forget there’s liquor in there and you just think it’s some spicy A&W. “Ken I get anutha Stoli Vanilla n Gingerell?” Not good… not good.
But so good.
You know.. im in college. Everybody’s talkin about Grey Goose and Belvedere, those are the stuff of dreams. I’m still drinking Aristocrat and Hawaiian Punch Lemonberry Squeeze, calling it weird-ass names like Castrol GTX.
My old school high school shit was Brass Monkey and Sunny D
Rubbing alcohol + Grape quarter water = STATUTORY GRAPE
you gotta watch how you mix it tho. I’m 80% blind in my right eye
I still enjoy the fine bouquet of a good Thunderbird or Cold Duck from time to time…
Stoli Vanilla + Vanilla Coke = Heron Heaven
Stoli Apple + Snapple Apple = Crack
Being knowledgeable wit flavored liquors, I’ve now limited my consumption to just three liquors, straight, on the rocks.
Grey Goose
Patron Anejo
Jack Dilly
Had to fall back though. Last November, after closing on my crib, I decided to celebrate (week long) by dranking Patron dolo. Must’ve polished off like 4 bokkles that week. Sunday morning, woke up, feeling like I had to drop a duece in the terlet, for the next 24 hours, I was dropping straight BLOOD! No lumps, no excrement, just bright red BLOOD dun!!! KNEW I had the CANCER and treated wifey and kids extra well, all with the extra hugs and meaningful long gazes in their eyes. Called my Dr. He told me the Patron burnt a hole in my innerds and I had what was called an abdominal hemroid. Told me the clear liquors tend to do that, so if I must drank, drank brown. Reason y I returned old school w the Jack Dilly. TRUST, when thick red blood is oozing out yer ass crack for a day and a half, you too will fall the eff back.
http://wrongdiagnosis.com/sym/bloody_stool.htm
CJ…that was pretty damn nasty.
Where Belize at? Smokers Unite! At least they don’t shit blood.
Now if you’ll excuse me, the pics in this post are irritating my headache. WTF?!