The King Of Hipster Douchebag Rappers…

asher roth

Last week I fuxxed with the Heltah Skeltah show in lower Manhattan at the classic venue called S.O.B.’s. If you live in NYC and you have not seen a Hip-Hop show at S.O.B.’s then you aren’t Hip-Hop whatsoever. Cats from Pennsylvania, Connecticut and New Jersey come here to catch shows. It’s one of the last live venues in the city where you can really experience a show where the artist doesn’t have a separation from the listeners.

You already know what the fuck it is with Rock and Ruck. Their new album is called Da Incredible Rap Team and these niggas are still punching motherfuckers in the mouth with their lyrics. There ain’t a crew in rap more hardbody than those niggas and that’s my word. So you can imagine how surprised I was when I saw all of these broads in high heels and short skirts. Heltah Skeltah is not one of these glam rap groups where the chicks that come to see them are wearing Chanel shit. Broads that come to see Heltah Skeltah usually have stab wounds, they wear Timberland chukkas and can prA’li kick the ass of 94.675% of XXL mag dot commenters.

Who the fuck were these foxy bitches coming to the club to see perform? It turns out that these high-heeled hot chicks (read: white girls) were here to see some nigga named Asher Roth. Who the fuck is Asher Roth? I know that he has had some shit featured here on this website, but seriously, who the fuck is Asher Roth? Motherfuckers are coming through the spot in button ups and boat shoes. When some skinny looking Italian dude hopped off the Vespa with not one, but two skinny model type cokehead broads riding on the back I knew exactly what Asher Roth was. He is the king of the hipster douchebag rapper movement.

What I didn’t know was that Asher Roth is also the king of the suburbs too. At least Eminem had to come up through the hardscrabble Detroit battle rap circuit. And we all know how cold shit can get in the D. Asher Roth is straight from the Stroudsburg mall parking lot poetry cipher. I’m not saying that you have to have gunshot wounds to be a rapper, but it does help no doubt. Asher Roth is 180 degrees from all that fake gangsta poseur bullshit. Roth is more like the greatest frat rap artist since DeLa Soul debuted. Imagine if Eminem were a little less lyrical and more poetical. WTF?!?

Asher Roth doesn’t make me hit the rewind button like Em used to, but he still has lines that are worth repeating. Download his mixtape here and peep his game. I’m surprised how much I enjoy listening to son’s album. Yes, you would want to be high when you let this shit play. He has a wordplay that staggers through his songs and connects rhymes at assymetrical points in the verses. My favorite song on the mixtape is where he talks about which cartoon chicks he would fuck. Pure dumb frat boy bullshit that doesn’t take itself seriously at all. Asher Roth is the next rap phenomenon. Straight from the suburbs.

Hip-Hop is dead, long live Hip-Hop.

14 Responses to “The King Of Hipster Douchebag Rappers…”

  1. wax says:

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I wish Em would just do an album for the heads – say something like em swagger raps over Ras Kass legendary debut beats. I know it wont happen, but damn do I miss being excited about rap music. its all drum n bass for me these days

  2. wax says:

    speakin of swagger, Dallas you ever heard this tune? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CR1osj6JL9E

  3. Jimmy V says:

    Come on Dallas …Asher Roth ?

    I am thoro and I put on for my city

    All I Need ( featured on myspace invasion and ready cee radio show )

    http://www.zshare.net/audio/15541176ffce42fb/

    Evil (featured on dj enyce mix cd)
    http://www.zshare.net/audio/5211720bcfdc75/

  4. ready roc says:

    cant fuck with this kid at all. Beastie Boys=HipHop

    3rd Bass=HipHop

    Eminem=HipHop

    Cage=HipHop

    El-P=HipHop

    this kid=marketing gimmick and reality show that the whole world is falling for……….take an average run of the mill whiteboy who knows nothing about the culture,paid no dues and knows he aint even taking this shit serious and get him all star management and promotion and cosigned by a few tastemakers and see how many people will fall for it and turn him into a legitmate artist.

    The punchline of the joke will come 5 yrs. from now when he laughs at everyone who fell for it and shines a Law degree and comes out as a republican.

    He been sporting the Obama t-shirt like that’s the most urbanized gear he has that black people can feel.

    This shit disrespects all the whiteboys who had to actually pay their dues and get props for being nice wit it.

    His first cd purchase was Marshall Mathers or JayZ’s 4th album, he can’t remember. And his first live performance ever was 2 months ago.

  5. Mr.Londoner says:

    Don’t act like the dood can’t rap..

    Being obviously marketable, doesn’t make you a bad rappeR.

    gives you less skreet cred but who cares about shit you cant see anyway//

  6. ready roc says:

    dude can’t rap………………………………….. but the shit you consider rap, I probly don’t. I’m a strictly cuban linx,illmatic,da shinin,36 chambers,capital punishment,ready to die,one for all,midnight marauders……so my standards never lowered to even feel 99% of the shit y’all bang today.

    I gave props to the whiteboys I gave props to…..and he’slevels below them….not even just 1 or two levels but levels……………………….

  7. allnice says:

    Uh oh, the white Lupe Fiasco! Dallas Penn are you serious sonny? You like this shit? Sonny….like Prodigy said, hip hop is not for everyone to be doing.

    You gotta have soul and a hood license man, it ain’t all about lyrics and clever punchlines. A good story also helps. Where is his story?

    He’s not even a true hipster dunny. True hipsters come from the Beat generation. Italian cokehead chicks and douchebag pretend to be rich white dudes are not hipsters. They are just white people who love some shit that sounds kinda like hip hop without black people in it.

    He’s not gonna last that long. Besides Em, there ain’t no more room for a great white hype. I don’t even see white America feeling this dude. He’s over before he began.

  8. the_dallas says:

    I listened to Asher Roth’s mixtape album several times and I ain’t mad at him one bit. I respect the work he has done to get to this point. He just isn’t as talented as Eminem but he has some shit on his mind. I think you have grown so accustomed to the myths surrounding your favorite rapper’s backgrounds that you accept that shit even when they have nothing to say.

    Asher Roth will NOT save Hip-Hop. Asher Roth did bring out some sexy ladies of all persuasions to a concert that was being headlined by Heltah Skeltah. The fact that I was at a rap show at S.O.B.’s that wasn’t a swordfest is no small achievement.

  9. Fuzzy Dunlop says:

    At least he ain’t as bad as Mickey Avalon, that dude was rapping in a cell phone ad wearing mascara with Jermaine Dupri. That actually happened. And props for bringing ladies to the Heltah Skeltah show, that it a definite achievement. I was at a BCC show in LA and there was more sausage in that spot than the toilet at a Packers game.

  10. Goat says:

    That dude is fuckin wack. Hate Week next week

  11. 150,000 Chinese Monkeys says:

    “You gotta have soul and a hood license man, it ain’t all about lyrics and clever punchlines. A good story also helps. Where is his story?”

    It ain’t all about lyrics? Sit down and shut the fuck up. The fuck I want to hear about someone’s (likely artifical) life story if they can’t rap? Fuck a good story, give me good story raps.

    I’ve never listened to Asher Roth, so whatever on that, but fuck that magazine-ass “life story” bullshit. Go watch Oprah.

  12. Big Homie says:

    Just watched the video you did at the joint. Asher definitely brought out the ladies. From the few joints I heard from Asher…not bad. I know Ruck & Rock killed it that night too.

    Goat: U Mad? lol *daps duke*

  13. DirtyJerz says:

    In a game ran by Souja Boy Tell ‘Em, Tyga and Young Berg, I wouldn’t necessarily call this cat wack. I don’t care for ANY of the new dudes thats out, but yo’, he’s easier on the ears than Weezy! Trust me, you’ll never catch me with a Virgin MegaStore reciept from this guys CD, but I would cop on lemonwire.

  14. Belize says:

    hate to hate on a cats grind..but if this dude wasnt pushed right..he’d just be more wack juice in the blender…if u really diggin cartoon fuckin (i do)…here’s the real shyt that it came from:

    http://www.lyricsondemand.com/t/thirstinhowlllllyrics/dreamsoffuckingacartoonbitchlyrics.html

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