Not For Long: Cornbread, Earl & Me


Why don’t people don’t name their kids Earl anymore? Or even Jamal? Everything is now Brandon, or Justin. When I was volunteering as a little league coach I used to have to add a description to the names of kids so that I would remember who the hell they were. “Lazy eye” Brandon vs. “McNugget head” Brandon, or “Special Ed” Justin vs. “Whore mother” Justin. If I have a daughter with Chocolate Snowflake I will name her Earl. Not even short for Earlene or some shit, just Earl.

The name Earl came to mind when some folks were talking to me about the New York Giants bruising running back Brandon Jacobs. By the time the fourth quarter rolls around no one wants any part of that dude. The real reason is that the Giants O-line is beating the crap out of people. Brandon Jacobs is a big dude, but he is far from spectacular. When I think of the greatest oversized running backs I reminisce on cats like Christian Okoye who used to put in work and the man of all oversized running backs, Earl Campbell.


Earl could beat the shit out of you AND outrun you. Secondary defensemen wanted NO parts of Earl Campbell evar. He was laying fools out with the forearm shiver or whenever he dipped his shoulder.

So all you folks that think a dude named Brandon is so effin’ special you might should need to sit your ho asses down right quick. That is Texas Longhorn speak for respect Earl Campbell and all of his rushing titles and MVP awards.

The 2009 DP Dot Com NFL Playoff Pool

Okay, so here are the parameters a.k.a. the rules and shit, for the DP Dot Com NFL playoff pool.

You can only pick one(1) offensive player per team. So if you chose D’Angelo Hall as your RB you can NOT select Steve Smith as a WR. Take your time and use strategy when assembling your team. You will only get points when your player plays so be careful of the 1st round byes and teams you think will only play one game. Your team must consist of…

1 QB
2 RB
2 WR
1 TE
1 FLEX(could be a running back, wide receiver, or tight end)
1 Kicker
1 Defense/Special Teams

6 pts- TD Rushing, Receiving, Passing
6 pts- Defensive TD, Kickoff Return/Punt Return for a TD
6 pts- Defensive Shutout
3 pts- Field Goals
3 pts- Defense holds opponent to 9 points or less
2 pts- Defensive safety
2 pts- Two point conversion (Rushing, Receiving, Passing)
1 pt- Every 10 yards Receiving, Rushing
1 pt- Every 20 yards Passing
1 pt- Defensive sack, interception, fumble recovery
1 pt- Kicking extra point
0 pts- Any yardage on punt/kickoff returns

* If a punt or kickoff is returned for a TD the D/ST gets 6 points and if you have a guy like Mark Jones as one of your WR’s he will also be credited with 6 pts if he ran it back. So in that scenario the Titans D & Jones will be credited 6 pts.
* RB has 73 rushing yards and 10 receiving yards(total yards = 83) he will be credited 8 pts.
* If a QB has 200 passing yards -1 rushing(total yards = 199), he will be credited 9 pts. If he has 199 passing yards + 1 rushing(total yards = 200), he will be credited 10
*This is NOT for just the first round, but the ENTIRE playoffs so once your player is out you cant pick up another you have to play a man or two or three down.

Here’s what my squad looks like…

QB – Donovan McNabb
RB – Michael Turner
RB – Chris Johnson
WR – Hines Ward
WR – Reggie Wayne
TE – Antonio Gates
FLEX- Steve Smith
K- David Akers
D/ST- Tennessee

Submit only one(1) playoff roster. If you are having a difficult time figuring out how to put your roster together then you might should hold off effin’ with this pool until you can get some time on your hands to smnack yourself in the head with a baseball bat. I will not accept roster revisions so wait until the last minute to make your choices.

22 Responses to “Not For Long: Cornbread, Earl & Me”

  1. Big Homie says:

    QB – Donovan McNabb (Eagles)
    RB – Adrian Peterson (Vikings)
    RB – Le’Ron McClain (Ravens)
    WR – Larry Fitzgerald (Cardinals)
    WR – Michael Turner (Falcons)
    TE – (Kevin Boss) (Giants)
    FLEX- Steve Smith (Panthers)
    K- David Akers (Giants)
    D/ST- Troy Polamalu (Steelers)

  2. big rils says:

    QB – Peyton Manning (Colts)
    RB – Michael Turner (Falcons)
    RB – Michael Westbrook (Eagles)
    WR – Santonio Holmes (Steelers)
    WR – Larry Fitzgerald (Cardinals)
    TE – Antonio Gates (Chargers)
    FLEX – DeAngelo Williams (Panthers)
    K – Adam Vinatieri (Colts)
    D/ST – Baltimore

  3. Big Homie says:

    *If the defense category is team wise, go head and put me down with Pittsburgh

  4. DirtyJerz says:

    True story- As a kid, I walked into Schwartz Drug store and boosted 2 cans of Skoalâ„¢ chewing tobacco, all because Earl Campbell had the ill commercial for it…and he used to lay nigras out like bowling pins coming through the middle (ll). Instead of chewing the tobacco, I ate it, and was sick for 3 days. Ha!

    Gotta love your role models and the influence of television commercials!

    QB – Joe Flacco (Ravens)
    RB – Willie Parker (Steelers)
    RB – Brian Westbrook (Eagles)
    WR – Hines Ward (Steelers)
    WR – Bobby Wade(Vikings)
    TE – Dallas Clark (Colts)
    FLEX – DeAngelo Williams (Panthers)
    K – Jeff Reed (Steelers)
    D/ST – Steelers


  5. Angela says:

    I will never ever ever date a man named Earl or Carl. They’re just triflin names (don’t ask me why), I feel like I’d be setting myself up for a fail.

  6. Kiana says:

    haha Angela is crazy. If you and Choc Snow have a daughter please don’t name her Earl. That’s the kinda stuff that will mess a kid up!!!

    sidenote: Cornbread, Earl, and me is my movie!!!!

  7. Fresh2Def says:

    QB-Peyton Manning (Colts)
    RB-Adrian Peterson (Vikes)
    RB-Michael Turner (Falcons)
    WR-Steve Smith (Panthers)
    WR-Larry Fitzgerald (Cards)
    TE-Antonio Gates (Chargers)
    FLEX- Brian Westbrook (Eagles)
    K-Dan Carpenter (Dolphins)

  8. LM says:

    QB-Philip Rivers (Chargers)
    RB-Chris Johnson (Titans)
    RB-Derrick Ward (Giants)
    WR-Hines Ward (Steelers)
    WR-Roddy White (Falcons)
    TE-Todd Heap (Ravens)
    FLEX- Brian Westbrook (Eagles)
    K-John Kasay (Panthers)

  9. king blair says:

    QB- Peyton Manning (Colts)
    RB-Adrian Peterson (Vikings)
    RB- Michael Turner (Falcons)
    WR-Steve Smith (Panthers)
    WR-Larry Fitzgerald (Cardianls)
    TE-Antonio Gates (Chargers)
    FLEX- Brian Westbrook (Eagles)
    K-Dan Carpenter (Miami)

  10. mercilesz says:

    Earl Campbell is in a wheel chair right now. He wasn’t shit compared to Jim Brown who never wore knee pads and still ran thru every defense like a mack triduck. Jim Brown had the rushing record and neither of them are playing football right now. Brandon Jacobs is playing FootBall as we speak and is the truth I don’t care what nobody says. In fact Mr Campbell owes everything to the incomparable Jim Brown and Mr Jacobs actually has a ring….so u know. Can’t cosign

  11. the_dallas says:

    ^ Did you watch Jim Brown play?

    Or are you dickriding on some historical shit? Earl Campbell was laying fools out. No doubt Jim Brown was the GOAT, but Earl Campbell >>>> Brandon Jacobs to anybody who fucks with the league for real.

    Don’t tell me about no rings either unless you one of those cats that thinks Lil’ Wayne is the best rapper alive because his last album sold x anount of copies.

  12. Bert says:

    I’m in…..Check the winners…haha.

    QB – Peyton Manning (Colts)
    RB – Brian Westbrook (Eagles)
    RB – Adrian Peterson (Vikings)
    WR – Roddy White (Falcons)
    WR – Hines Ward (Steelers)
    TE – Kevin Boss (Giants)
    FLEX – Chris Johnson (Titans)
    K – Matt Stover (Ravens)
    D/ST – Steelers

  13. BigNat says:

    QB- Eli Manning (Giants)
    RB- Derrick Ward (Giants)
    RB- Chris Johnson (titans)
    WR- Reggie Wanye (colts)
    WR- Steve Smith (panthers)
    TE- Kevin Boss (Giants)
    FLEX- Brian Westbrook (Eagles)
    K- Rob Bironas (Titans)
    D/ST- Titans

  14. mercilesz says:

    lol….RING…Thanks for acknowledging the greatest…on the real though I think Campbell is in a wheel chair beccause of cortizone shots in his knees….dude was beast no doubt but do you know anything about that?

  15. the_dallas says:

    Actually Emmitt Smith is the greatest, by any barometer you want to judge a running back by. Total yds from scrimmage, touchdowns, titles, etc.

    The true story of the NFl is how short the lives of these men end up being with so many players expiring only a decade or so after they take off the pads. Especially offensive linemen who are mostly on crutches and wheelchair bound in retirement.

    Keep in mind that linemen go HARDBODY every play, even if that joints ends up being called back due to a penalty. Three hous a day of bone-crushing [ll], not including the weekly practices.

    Show some effin’ respect the next time you come in my house by taking off your shoes.

  16. mercilesz says:

    Definitely cant cosign emmit smith being better than Jim Brown. “are u freaking kidding me?” is more like it. Jim Brown only played for 9 seasons to accomplish the all time rushing record while Emmit played for 14 with a better supporting cast.Emmit Smith finished 7th in place for the Heisman while Jim Brown finished 1st but as we all know black people couldn’t win the heisman when he played…shiiiiit… most Black people couldn’t even attend a white university or VOTE in America when Jim Brown played. Jim Brown never played past the age of 29….basically the age I am now…and retired a legend…we’re talking about him right now.He is GOAT and that is undisputed by looking at his numbers. Also he transcended FootBall with his long Hollywood career way before Carl Weathers and was the 1st BlAcK MaN to have an interracial KiSS on screen in hollywood with one Raquel Welsh that caused mad controversy in the western “100 rifles”…So take that Taye Diggs. Anywhoz D,Clean ur Room and Do ur homework.

  17. You must be one of those H.S. dropouts that Jim Brown lets do the lawnscaping work on his property.

    What interracial kiss. Raquel Welch is an effin’ Mexican!?!

    Part of why Emmitt is the GOAT and Jim Brown is the legend is the fact that Emmitt played for as long as he did. The NFL is str8 brutality and at 29yo Jim Brown had all he could take.

    You can obviously take it all. If your mouth is filled with Jim Brown dick where are you gonna stick Jim Thorpe’s rod? PrA’li in yer butt?!

    We don’t need your co-sign around these parts.

    Happy new year to you too now sit your ho ass down when grown folks is talkin’.

  18. mercilesz says:

    ooooh….what a diss…shes a Brazilian dude and was accepted by Hollywood way before Selma Hayek who happens to be Mexican. I love ur posts d but I’m not sweatin ur opinions like these other ill informed blogriders. I think 4 myself and Emmit Smith is in no comparison to Jim Brown cmon homie. numbers speak 4 themselves. Not only was Jim Brown an all American in football he also was an all american on the Syracuse lacrosse team….oh shit an American Indian reference…ie Jim Thorpe…one of the best to ever do it. Btw do you know that the college he went to named the Carlisle Indian Industrial School invented the forward pass which revolutionized the game of fottball you claim to know so much about. Thorpe was a hero of mine growing up being part native american so yeah I used to love reading about that dude in 3rd grade when i was searching for an identity in America. Anywhoz Jim Brown is still GOAT and the numbers speak 4 themselves. Strahan told the media that LT was better even though he has the record for the most sacks in the Ny FootBall Giants History because LT did it in fewer seasons…do the math homeboy its just numbers.

  19. Numbers don’t lie so that is why liars rely on them. If you want to stan hard for Jim Brown knock yourself out. Strahan is correct in saying that LT was better because LT would lead the league in sacks, forced fumbles, fumble recoveries, interceptions and points scored from the linebacker position. I don’t even know how Jim Brown came into the discussion of Earl Campbell > Brandon Jacobs. Oh yeah, Dr.Dickrider jumped in with that.

    Calling Jim Brown the GOAT was good money twenty years ago before we had the careers of Emmitt Smith, Walter Payton and Barry Sanders to compare and respect. Twenty years ago you were what, 9yo? Sorry young scrappy but you belong on the comment threads of people who talk about Tupac being the greatest rapper of all time. Go on back to your Jim Brown and Jim Thorpe dickipedia alters and pray for their holy jizm to fall on your face. NFL playoffs start tomorrow beyatch.

  20. mercilesz says:

    so many homo references and no facts…tisk tisk

  21. If you really knew football, which you obviously don’t, you might would know that Walter Payton is considered the greatest running back of all time. I’ma let you go dig up the career numbers for yourself if you are so motivated to do the knowledge (which I doubt). After Payton I consider Emmitt Smith #2 and then Jim Brown and Barry Sanders (interchangeable) follow them.

    Sanders and Brown both left the League at the crest of their careers so I can’t dickride them to GOAT status. Part of the greatness of the athlete is their longevity at their position. Otherwise some random ass buttfuck could claim Gale Sayers or Eric Dickerson or wife killer O.J. Simpson was the GOAT.

    Brown played when there were less teams = less competiition and less games. Sanders carried the Lions on his back. Ask anyone that ever fucked with the Lions about Sanders greatness. Smith was durable and dependable. Sure he had a better team around him than any on these other dudes but he still ran his ass off. Walter Payton might have been the greatest football player of all time. Incredible rusher, receiver, blocker and even passer. Sweetness was the total package[ll].

    Get your weight up sonn, your knowledge of the league is laughable. Dallas Penn is the shit, and you ain’t even passing gas. Motherfucker move on.

  22. mercilesz says:

    Laugh all u want but Jim Brown was running through people and was a power runner and would run over cats. Payton was more of a speedy little dude who always bounced back from a good hit. E. Smith don’t even need mentioning since hes not comparable to either of the aforementioned and i think Sanders was just like Payton. Happy Sunday Im gonna see what the Eagles do right now.

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