Rainhats Still >>> Um-ba-rellas-ellas-ellas…

rainhats

DO NOT take relationship advice from BILLY X. SUNDAY

If I wasn’t as lazy and drunk as I am so often I would have inserted [ll] this drop so that you could have read this shit first thing in the morning before you go to homeroom or wherever high school cats go at 8am. Alas, You will have to hear more about the story of Chris Brown going all UFC on his alleged girlfriend Rihanna.

I say alleged because we all know that Chris Brown prefers to wear nuttsachs like a Van Dyke right? We all know this right? Okay, good we have that out of the way. So the question remains why would Chris Brown get into a catfight with Rihanna anyhoo, since the likelihood of them arguing over fidelity is nil. They are more likely to be upset with each other over sharing the same dude.

I think Rihanna made the mistake of calling out Chris Brown’s sexuality in front of people that aren’t in the ghey cipher. You know, that cabal that runs the entertainment industry. Most people think its the t.I.’s that run this rap shit but in actuality it’s the ghey t.I.’s. Rihanna gets all liquored up at the pre-Grammy party (you know the alcohol and other treats *ahem* flow freely at these events right?) and then she tells Chris Brown that he is just a dancing fag like Alvin Ailey.

Chris Brown wanted to cry, but he held it in until they got in the limo taking them to the house they were renting (separate rooms, but of course). He finally bust out into tears inside the car and he really wanted to pinch Rihanna’s arm, but because her forehead is like eightheads he couldn’t help it but to touch her above the neck. I’m pretty sure that he didn’t want to bust her lip open, even if that is what he ended up doing.

I’m not here to defend Chris Brown. He is a sweetchuck though, and those dudes are just as likely to fight with a chicks because they think they are one too. In this new technological age Chris Brown should celebrate the achievement that from now on whenever someone gets domestically abusive with their chick we will say that fool “Chris Brown’d” his broad. At the end of the day being remembered for anything is all you can hope for in an era of disposable entertainment.

10 Responses to “Rainhats Still >>> Um-ba-rellas-ellas-ellas…”

  1. Gee says:

    You are as wrong as JayZ wearing NAPS on the Grammy red carpet… ´Fuckery is fuckery…and I don’t believe CB takes it up the rear end just because he tried to put an end to “som pon the forhead”…

  2. Big Homie says:

    I’d do Rihanna in a heart beat. I hope she recovers well.

  3. Big Homie says:

    we will say that fool “Chris Brown’d” his broad.

    ^ *jumps out the plane with no parachute on*

  4. P.Villa says:

    Yo if Chris Brown really did touch Rihanna in any harmful way I’m liable to punch that dude in the throat if I ever see him walking on the street.

    She may have an eight head but she still got that delicious cake.

  5. eloheem* says:

    Letter to Chris Brown MngMt. Don’t trip. Dump Ri Ri. Style on Neyo..play up with the bad boy image, make with the 808 bump n grind music boom get that R Kelly spot.

  6. Angela says:

    True story, one of my boyfriend’s students already threatened to “Chris Brown” some other kid today. He teaches 10th grade. At least the kids are up on current events, lol.

  7. 40 says:

    I understand CB’s frustration. Rihanna thought she could get slick with him because she thought he was soft ‘cuz he Lightskint. Keep that high yalla pimp hand skrong!!!!

    “Are you smacked…. To the flo’…. If ya ain’t…. Here’s one more…. Don’t think that I’m runnin’ runnin’… Don’t think that I’m runnin’ runnin’… “

  8. Candice says:

    I had a comment but I am laughing so hard at 40’s Pymp Remix I can’t respond.

  9. F says:

    I was already amused with this ‘story’, and upon reading this drop i’m at new levels of amusement.

    “He finally bust out into tears inside the car and he really wanted to pinch Rihanna’s arm, but because her forehead is like eightheads he couldn’t help it but to touch her above the neck.” -HAhahaha!

  10. lola gets says:

    These comments are funny as hell. But, then again, I am punch drunk, so anything I laugh at is probably a lil’suspect. Hehe.

    L

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