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Combat Jack, Marvelous Mo and myself have been spending a lot of time together as of late. Part of the reason was that we were courting the notion of forming an internets collective that did more than just maintained weblogs of our exploits and aspirations. While spending time together this weekend Combat Jack reminded us of the cautionary tale of CRISPUS ATTUCKS.

Many of you may not know this but CRISPUS ATTUCKS was the first person killed in the Revolutionary War. ATTUCKS was also a Black man. That he is generally the only name most people remember when queried about the so-called ‘Boston Massacre‘ says that ATTUCKS was surely a pioneer, but a pioneer of what you might ask? CRISPUS ATTUCKS has pioneered a long line of Africans in America who have gotten their shit fucked the fuck up because they were fucking around with the white.

If ATTUCKS has just minded his damn business he might still be alive. Not today, because that would be crazy, but back then instead of getting his wig peeled back via musket which had to be some bullshit compared to the arms we are now shipping overseas to Israel and the like that simply just decapitate babies. There are surfers, scuba divers, skateboarders, astronauts, and captains of industry who all have CRISPUS ATTUCKS to thank for inspiring them to jump out the window with the white.

With the two hundred and thirty-ninth anniversary of CRISPUS ATTUCKS demise approaching this Thursday I thought I should highlight one of his successors, the first African America surfer, NICOLAS RONALDO GABALDON.

NICK RONALDO GABALDON(1927-1951) started his famous surfing career on a piece of rescued flatwood at the Inkwell beach that was south of Santa Monica’s fabled Malibu beachfront.

In those days the beaches of Southern California were segregated just like the lunch counters in Selma, Alabama. This didn’t stop the young Blacks from coming to the water however and even imitating the activities of the white they witnessed on the northern stretches of the coast.

NICK was a tall, slim handsome man who was highly athletic and was even reported to have known how to swim, but this is disputed by many historians who agree that no African American has proven they have the ability to swim since they don’t pwn that category in the Summer Olympics.

NICK befriended some of the great surfers of that period like BOBBY HOGAN and MICKEY MUNOZ. Even the legendary Malibu Beach lifeguard PRESTON ‘PETE’ PETERSON considered GABALDON a friend. After a stint in the Navy GABALDON returned to the beaches of SoCal, and returned to the surfing lifestyle that he so loved.

Sadly, it would be the forbidden dance of the white atop seasoned balsa wood that would do NICK in.

A major swell in early June with waves over a story high was pounding the the Malibu coast. Surfers from up and down Californ-I-A came to hang ten and break waves. NICK was said to have taken out a brand new handshaped shortboard for the occasion. He found a monster wave too and deftly hugged the crest as if he were a white.

Alas, for all of his good hair and Polynesian good looks NICOLAS GABALDON was not a white. He disappeared in the swell, his shortboard shattered against the Malibu piers, his body was not to be recovered for several days.

In 2008, the Santa Monica city council unveiled a commemorative plaque at Inkwell beach in honor of NICK and his achievements as the first African American surfer.

If there are any lessons to be learned from this drop it should be 1) Black history is American history and that shit happens all the fucking time, and 2) Black people, stop trying to do shit white does. It will get your shit fucked the fuck up.

This entry was posted on Monday, March 2nd, 2009 at 12:34 pm and is filed under Black Bullshit, Combat Jack, Ghetto Celebs, iNternets Celebrities, Ninjas, No Boutros Boutros... Ghali, Social Upheaval, When I Reminisce..., white, Wig Owners. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.