Dead Rappers Get Better Promotion…

jigger

What has Michael Jackson’s death taught you? It should be that the music industry is reliant now upon the deaths of icons to sell its backstock of CD’s and other merch. This is fine too since I can think of a plethora of aging rockers that could all remove their carbon footprints from the planet whilst also creating a boon to the flagging music business model.

Bob Dylan, David Bowie, Paul McCartney, Ozzy Osbourne, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Robert Plant, Eric Clapton, etc. All of these artists have ridiculous catalogs and rabid fans worldwide that would buy their shit again if re-packaged into some kind of collector’s box set. The real way to come up though would be if you were Mick Jagger and you faked your death. Couldn’t you see Mick Jagger retiring to some Brazilian hideaway where sexy slim D-cup shemales fed him grapes all day? That is real rockstar shit my friends.

Who in the rap game has the catalog to retire on and still has enough of a following to make faking his demise profitable. The only dude is Jigga. Plus, who likes going to island resorts more than Jay-Z? I think 50 Cent has taken one vacation in all the years he has been rapping. You never see Eminem on vacation. Jay-Z is that anomaly who goes off on holiday and retires from rap simultaneously. Some people rap to go out on tour. Jay-Z raps to put points in his 401K.

I remember there was a latino dude that rapped like Jay-Z a few years back. I forget dude’s name and really I didn’t even bother to learn it because it was obvious he was smitten with Jay-Z so much that he would never get a break in the business. Now what if we pulled that dude away from his FedEx gig and told him to make some songs in the Jay-Z voice like that dude made all those songs using the 2Pac voice. Jay-Z could be holed up in Tobago with his roommate Larry Johnson and still caking off new albums that were supposedly recorded before his demise.

None of us here are that delusional to think that 2Pac recorded 5+ albums worth of material in 6 weeks? We all know that some dude that rapped with 2Pac’s voice was used to keep that dude’s legacy popping while 2Pac vacations in Cuba. Jay-Z could do the same thing. There is now way a Jay-Z album is going platinum under its own power. When I say platinum I am referring to 1999 platinum status(1M units) as opposed to 2009 plat(300K units). This is my best idea evar. Jay-Z can finally retire like he’s always talked about and he will become the best selling rap artist of all time.

This is at least until Eminem fakes his death and has Asher Roth rapping for him posthumously.

21 Responses to “Dead Rappers Get Better Promotion…”

  1. akira says:

    the jay-z sounding dude = angelous?

  2. Smear says:

    classic…..

  3. 40 says:

    I think he meant Sacario…. He was “signed” Angie Martinez (Jay Stan #1) label “Animal House”…

  4. kayos says:

    it was def some “angel” guy…
    but hell jim jones runs around w/ somebody who sounds JUST like jay now 2… so who knows….

  5. nerditry says:

    Maybe Charles Hamilton is hiding out on the island, trying to find someone to co-sign on a producer credit.

  6. Russ the Bus says:

    pause to getting signed by angie martinez

  7. Brahmabull says:

    defintely Sacario.
    Seriously though, why’re you on Jay’s nuts so much?

  8. As someone who’s music fandom is expressed– when financially possible– in semi-lavish jazz box sets, archival r&b and African funk cds (if any of ya’ll want to explore beyond, say, Fela, check out ANYTHING on the awesome Analog Africa label)…

    It’s fucking shameful and embarrassing how the hip-hop catalogs are treated. Traffic has been doing some OK things like with the BDP and Kool G. Rap & DJ Polo issues and even if there’s a lot of filler on disc 2, the price is right.

    Let’s take a current mc I like, Torae, recording on my fave label, DUCK DOWN. Solid A- disc, Torae needs a little more variety but he and Marco Polo mostly kill it. I spent, I dunno, $14 for it. TWO PAGE FUCKING BOOKLET? Why should kids feel the need to ** buy ** this? I hope to hell the RUCK DOWN era ups the production values in ways that equal the music. Buck and Dru– I love ya’ll but a LITTLE more pride in workmanship wouldn’t be amiss.

    Now let’s talk about CATALOG. Why are there no hip-hop box sets? Imagine all the hot Nas and Mobb Deep (for example) features, freestyles, etc. Hell, if Busta did something like that it’d be his BEST album. Is hip-hop too “ghetto,” even when it’s “pop”? But wait, wait– I thought mostly white bought hip-hop anyway? It’s so confusing.

    Yet rock guys who never had the pop audience of some the (now fallen) rap heroes get all kinds of mostly well-done retrospectives: most recently Nick Cave, for example.

    Lastly, FUCK JAY-Z.

    (And motherfuck the Knicks, I know, I know but the post-Dr. J. (or Bernard King) Nets are still the wackest… UNTIL they move to Newark, which is best for everyone.

  9. Polotron says:

    Wait a sec…wacker than the James Dolan-era Knicks??? Knock it off….

  10. My bad Polotron– I meant to write

    MOTHERFUCK THE KNICKS (infinitely) but the post-Dr. J (or Bernard King– Fort Hamilton H.S. stand up!) Nets are– yes– the wackest.

    Dolan is unbelievably bad, I admit, going on 10+ years (and motherfuck Allen Houston, Charlie Ward and every other WWJD jackoff too, while we’re on the subject, Chango has LOTS of better things to do then pay attention to whether or not ya’ll make the three)…

    BUT… Bruce Ratner + Jay-Z fake owner = even worse politically, if sometimes less putrid on the court.

    Honestly, as a Knicks fan, I checked out on hoops altogether, it’s been too retarded for too lang– I thought the DONTREVIUS WENTERS ERA might improve things but… alas, it was not be.

  11. Lion XL says:

    WWIB…know how you feel, MOS DEF latest album had some effin sticker on the front for a label…..but I think its this new GREEN economy that drives these things. That and the fact that only a small percentage of die hard music listener’s even bother to read the liner notes, makes that pretty much a throw away.

    as for box sets and such….hip hop has just really reached the point in its history where those things are even marketable. You have to realize that the whole catalog as a commodity idea is still pretty new, hip hop unfortunatley, still has not really matured to that level yet, close but not yet.

  12. VEe says:

    Willis Still Sunsweet,
    Hip Hop and Catalogs? First you have to give kudos to the Roots on that end. WELL before any label decided to put together a collection, Questo took matters into his own hands and made that happen. I guess that CD may be viewed as a best-of to get technical. Chuck D. made it a point to put together a -best of- the P.E. tour experience.

    You gotta give Puffy props AND I doubt he has stopped trying to RE-SELL Biggie’s 1st and 2nd CDs.

    For the most part there has been reports on how old rap catalogs just doesn’t sell well compared to the Blue Note catalog, the Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Bob Marley, etc.

    What happened to the Death Row catalog?!? I remember that was up in limbo, then sold at an auction. I think many rap acts are really missing the point and didn’t learn a thing from James Brown – collected $300 million shortly before his death for his catalog, Berry Gordy, Master P (the music may be worthless, but it defined an era in hip-hop).

    Jay-Z reportedly purchased the rights to his 1st disc for $5 million. Personally I would have copped the 3rd CD instead. Imagine if he owned his entire catalog filled with hit records and #1 albums.

    —– End Note —–
    How did you guys end up taking shots at the KNICKS?!!? What the Flcuk?!?? It’s all good, yeah they suck right now, they’re horrible but I’m still rolling for them even though I know their post season is a thing of the past. What no love for Derek Harper, Starks, Ewing, Big Anthony Mason from Queens, etc.?

  13. mercilesz says:

    Russell Simmons will fake his death and move to Bloombergs personal Island. They would then re-release the entire Def Jam catalogue and actually call him a bigger music mogul than David Geffen and Berry Gordy combined….”In the year 2000…In the year 2000″.

  14. Polotron says:

    Is anyone still buying cd’s? It seems (to me) to make little sense spending budget on the “extras” when cats are gonna go the itunes/mp3 route anyway. I like the idea of adding digital content though.

    WWIB, I hear what you’re saying about the Knicks. I was diehard, until they killed me. And then they were unwatchable. During that time, the Nets were getting it together…and so I’m here. I just don’t follow the Nets suck, Knicks all day thing. The knicks just recently got above putrid. Dolan should be smacked w/ the biz ends of pickaxes.

    Lion XL, good point about hip hop box sets. IMO, who besides PE and KRS is worthy/would sell?

    Maybe Jay-Z. And his might sell more. So yeah Dallas…brilliant!! You kill him off, box his catalog, and reissue w/ a “Beyonce just found these tracks in the room they never went in” album every year.

    CH-CHING!

  15. mercilesz says:

    btw I was in the garden the night Starks posterized Horace Grant and Jordan…That was my team…now…not so much

  16. Polotron says:

    damn, forgot about the Roots. But I do that a lot….

  17. the_dallas says:

    Polo,
    I am from the future mang. Just ride with whatever I say. It will all make sense twenty years from now.

    Do you remember the ‘Machine’? LMAO

  18. We’ll get back in (ll) on hoops but I just wanna clarify about “catalog”– I mean treating the best hip-hop the way “classic” rock and now so-called “indie” rock get treated, with care of presentation. At least Kanye has some goddamn aesthetic and did those paper gatefolds of “Graduation” and “808s.” When I buy a Duck Down cd– which I do– it’s barely better than a fucking Nigerian mixtape (which I don’t bother with).

    The #s in terms of production costs are NOT that great that more care can’t be taken.

    I want to ask again, why no hip-hop box set? Sure, some asshole decided it wouldn’t make money but somehow indie rock artists who never sold 1/10th the records of hip-hop stars did get the treatment. If selling 50,000 copies of Nas, Busta, Mobb, whomever isn’t “good enough” for the scumbag T.I.s…

    I don’t know. A Mos Def 2-3 cd set would be killer too.

    Granted, all that stuff is out there as mp3 and mixtapes and maybe I’m too old but… OTHER folks are making decent $$$ and keeping a strong non-digital relationship with fans while selling less than mega #s. I’d think there’s room in hip-hop for that also.

    One downside of course is 99.7% of live hip-hop is horrible and even the good shows (Roots excepted, tho’ I’m not generally a fan of Roots studio albums, sorry, that “Star” song on “Tipping Point” is one of the worst things ever, listen to SLY and shut the fuck up) aren’t recreative in a way you’re gonna say like wow, check out THIS version of …

    Something like the Stones Throw reissue of Doom “Mm… Food” is close to what I’m thinking of.

    Historically, of course, this isn’t new: most jazz, blues and r&b and soul AND hillbilly music was reissued, repackaged etc by Europeans and Japanese companies before the U.S. major labels that “owned” it (usually through mergers) did shit with it besides rip people off with 10 song “best albums… if they offered anything at all.

    WINE + COFFEE = RANT

  19. kayos says:

    its probably because rap music is more expensive that other music 2 produce. rock music is rock music. it just costs studio time. rap musis has sample clearance issues. maybe they cant clear the samples 2 re issue and thats y they cant box it up as easily as rock music.

  20. Polotron says:

    Dallas, I roll w/ the Roots as hard as the next guy. The reference was in regard to missing the Highline shows. Got tiks for next Tues though.

    He said the “Machine”…

  21. the_dallas says:

    Yeah, I didn’t go myself. Next Tuesday will be a scene tho’. Why? Because we will be there.

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