FrankenBerry Is The G.O.A.T. Breakfast Cereal…

frankenberry


Editor’s note: The OG drop was quiet classic. Now we’ve added more Vitamans with the IC videos.

Ever since Passion of the Weiss and Straight Bangin’ put together their G.O.A.T. Hip-Hop albums list I been straight up list crazy. Okay that’s not true because I have always been list crazy and today’s crazy list is for all the breakfast cereals that are so good, because they are so loaded with sugar that if I ate a salad bowl of one of these joints now I would go into a diabetic coma. Youth might be wasted on the young, but breakfast cereal and Saturday morning cartoons at my great-grandmother’s house are my earliest thoughts of heaven.

I don’t care what any of you say. FrankenBerry is that CRACK! Count Chocula and BooBerry were aight, but FrankenBerry was the fuckin’ truth. Just peep how Frank is on the front of the box beasting out over a bowl. Niggas eyes is at half mast from all that purple. Them joints would stay at just the right crunch in milk too. If I ran one of these fuckin’ industrial companies that made weapons in one division and breakfast cereal in another I would make kiddie cereal for adults. Reduce the sugar by adding real fruit or some shit. I don’t know how they do it and I don’t need to know. I’m the idea man and my ideas flow way better with a big ass bowl of FrankenBerry.

king vitamin

Most of y’all younger cats is too green to remember King Vitaman but this joint was another one of them Saturday morning treats that my great-grandmother used to lace me with. I used to be jumping all over her crib and climbing the walls like my ass was a gotdamned monkey.

lucky

Fuck what you heard! Lucky Charms was gooder than a muvv up in that muvv. Lucky Charms was that shit to make your milk change colors too because it was sprayed with so much powdered sugar. To this day I could eat like two of them little five dollar boxes in a weekend (Sat-Sun). And why does cereal cost so damn much now?

smack

That’s exactly what these joints were… Smack. Sugarized puffs of rice and a fuckin’ Puerto Rican coqui frog who dresses like a horse junkie. Shit tasted good though. Word is bond.

wheaties

Frosted Wheaties were the shit because regular Wheaties were fucking boring and them shits would sogg out in two seconds. It was like eating wet cardboard. When the T.I.’s put that sugar on the Wheaties them shits became sweetened mushy cardboard. Deee lish.

mini wheats

When I got a little older I started to feel a kind of way about going to the supermercado and buying kiddie cereal so I butched up my style with the Frosted Mini Wheats. One time I made the mistake of filling my bowl with these joints. I damn near cracked my jawbone trying to eat all these joints. The real plus was that I took a rope of a shit.

39 Responses to “FrankenBerry Is The G.O.A.T. Breakfast Cereal…”

  1. Tony Grands says:

    What sucks about my love for the breakfast cereals, is my 33 year old stomach’s disdain for the dairy products.

    Don’t let me have to do some shit-no pun intended-I really don’t want to the next day. That night before, cereal for dinner…kiss tomorrow goodbye.

  2. goathair says:

    FrankenBerry 4 Lyfe.

  3. Tony Grands says:

    & what kinda world do we live in where there’s no more prizes in the box?

  4. 6 100 says:

    Tone, you gotta experiment with milk.

    Some people are lactose intolerant. Some cant process the milk fat.

    I fall into the latter of the two. Skim milk, while lacking the luxuriant flavor of whole milk does the trick

  5. getthesenets says:

    TG

    those soy milk, and rice milk products aren’t bad alternatives….

  6. BIGNAT says:

    yeah i was going suggest soy milk to grands as well. get the vanilla soy milk the regular one just taste horrible. i never seen Frosted Wheaties before how i know about king vitamin and not that. nah frosted mini wheats is the best dp you gotta let them chill in the milk for about a minute they get just right. they came out with the blueberry one and strawberry one it’s crack but just like you pointed out it cost.
    also grands look at the box itself it almost always some mail in rebate to get cash back from buying disney dvd’s

  7. PG says:

    haha DP you were a fool in that vid. this post had me rollin. you have the best blog on the internets

  8. the_dallas says:

    Soy milk wrecks shop on my innards too. Almond milk is that new-new crack.

  9. Tony Grands says:

    Good looks fellas.

    I’ll definitely do some experimenting, because a bruva misses his Fruity Pebbles [||].

  10. Rob says:

    Nice post DP. Ima straight up cereal junkie. A box of frosted mini wheats is always in the cupboard along with an assortment of others. Cocoa Pebbles been gettin bombed on lately too.

    Lactose intolerance is wack! tried the lactaid, or whatever its called, milk and it was horrible. Stick with the pills for that shit now

  11. BIGNAT says:

    whoa to nutty nuggets and let me add i chucke i when see the bootleg cereal coco blast.

  12. the_dallas says:

    I’m a horrible addict. All I have been thinking about today is cereal. PathMark doesn’t sell FrankenBerry and I am sort of marsh-mellow’d. I’m gonna copp me a box of Fruity Pebbles [ll]. Damn you Grand$

  13. BIGNAT says:

    i think fruity pebbles is just fruit loops sliced up they think they slick

  14. Tony Grands says:

    I swear they put opium or heroin in that shit, DP. & don’t left Mrs. Grand$ get the small box, dude, I eat that shit in one sitting.

    Regret it later, but enjoy it then.

    I fux with Crunchberry too, but that shit’ll have the roof of your mouth cut up terrible.

  15. Tony Grands says:

    NAT, hell nah! That shit is concentrated corn syrup, sugar, food coloring & DRUGS!

    Fruitiest thing about Pebbles is Fred & Barney looking like gay cavemen.

  16. dmitry aka brooklyn jew says:

    I mess wit Strawberry frosted mini wheats. I also like golden grahams. But I love da idea wit da chips ahoy cookies and just throw dem in a bowl den and milk… chocolate milk. Dem u guyz r geniuses!!! LOL.

  17. dmitry aka brooklyn jew says:

    damn****

  18. the ambassador says:

    DP I feel you on the bodega food and even the ghetto big mac sometimes but I can’t fux with the sugary cereals. I only eat the joints with granola clusters in em…they might even be sold in whole foods or trader joes. shame on me. but dried fruit + granola clusters? I’m a happy woman. The most dangerous I’ll go is honey bunches of oats LOL

    I mean aren’t marshmallows supposed to be gooey and soft? fuck kinda marshmellow stays hard and crunchy even when doused in milk? no thank you. that being said, the only hot chocolate I consume is the kind with mini marshmallows. whatever.

  19. Grands the 2% is the business, try that.

    dP where the Crunch Berries at yo? Sugar Corn Pops? I can’t fux with the marshmallow thing.

    (II)

    I do the granola cereal. Or just buy a pound of granola and either do the ice cream thing or the cereal jumpoff.

    (II iym)

  20. Candice says:

    I used to destroy Lucky Charms as a kid. LOL.

    My adult crack is Frosted Mini Wheats too. However, you are missing another great from your list…Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Pure crack.

  21. Amadeo says:

    Frosted minis are required reading…but Honey Nut Cheerios get it done. Government programs have fostered a strong Hatred for Kix in me.

  22. BIGNAT says:

    cheerios kill my guts man i can clear a room after eating them.

  23. Tony Grands says:

    Does anybody remember Mr. T cereal, when he had his cartoon with the dog, who sported a mohawk & truck jewels? I think it was don’t by the same folks who did the Punky Brewster cartoon with the flying elf/goblin dude.

  24. StookieBrother1 says:

    reese’s puffs?

  25. BIGNAT says:

    @Grands check it out homie hahahaha
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCMYo1KyS3c

  26. Tony Grands says:

    NAT-
    Hahahahahahahahaaa!!!!!!!

    Hell yeah, pity the fool who don’t eat a nutritionally balanced breakfast!

  27. 6 100 says:

    I have a couple of issues concerning soy milk.

    1)It tastes like algae and makes my poop look like algae

    2)It’s known to lower testosterone and boost estrogen levels in the blood.

    I think there is a direct correlation between the use of soy products and the rise in the number of ghey school kids.

  28. quimby says:

    LOL at mulatto flakes

    Raisin Bran Crunch>>>>

    Cereal prices are outta control. Gotta hit up Sams Club & stock up on large double boxes. much cheaper.

  29. DirtyJerz says:

    Word Is Bawn….If FrankenBerry is crack, then the old Cap’n Crunch w/crunchberries is straight heron, even though them shitz would do damage to the roof of your mowf! The old crunchberries used to be petrified Now & Laters, the new ones got natural juices (ll), and are allegedly good for you.
    Jerz. Out.

  30. Symphony says:

    I’ll still tear up a box of cinnamon toast crunch in one sitting #1 cereal, Cap’n Crunch #2 (it’ll tear the roof of your mouth up too) Fruity Pebbles#3 (just had to eat it fast or pour less milk) Love cereal but hate the after affects of milk

  31. Symphony says:

    C.T.C. is like $8 a box though

  32. Kiana says:

    lmao at mulatto flakes!!! This is classic. I swear I was never a child because I never liked cereal or saturday morning cartoons. I will eat frosted flakes like it’s candy now though.

  33. Sordid Puppy says:

    FROSTED MINI SPOONERS. easy on your wallet and just as good as the genuine article (as i recall, anyway; it’s been ages since i sprang for a box of brand-name frosted mini wheats). get ’em by the bag.

  34. fosterakahunter says:

    Y’all are a couple of chubby fools. Weetabix!?

  35. sean p 4real says:

    fruity pebbles
    me and stone called it energon cubes
    4real!!!

  36. BigNat137 says:

    “energon cubes” LMAO

  37. hello, how are you?this is really good post.Have a good day

  38. BestClaire says:

    I have noticed you don’t monetize your site, don’t waste your traffic, you can earn extra bucks every month.
    You can use the best adsense alternative for any type of website (they approve
    all websites), for more details simply search in gooogle:
    boorfe’s tips monetize your website

Leave a Reply