DPEEZY WEEKEND GUIDE TO CUFFING SEASON…

dpeezy

What do you mean you haven’t selected your Cuffing Season finalists? This isn’t just the playoffs party people, this is the championship. As soon as you feel that nip in the air you should be battening down the hatches. Don’t let this be the winter you are left in the cold with no drawls next to you to keep you warm. It’s time to put some extra innings onto your plan.

The weekend forecast is bright, sunny and windy. You are going to need to put a jacket over that sweater playboy because all the action is still outdoors. I thought I could do some of you a favor by passing along my veteran NYC playbook for bagging up the tenderloin in the long brown boots.

MUSEUMS
Dude, get up on museums. Hot chicks like museums and my favorites only cost a dollar to attend.

Metropolitan Museum of Art
This is one of NYC’s greatest treasures. Please bring a shorty here and note that the admission price is only SUGGESTED. When I go here with Chocolate Snowflake I pay $1 for her and $1 for me. I let the Rockefellers subsidize the rest of my visit. The architecture of the building alone makes the trip worth your time and when you combine that with the facilities art collection you are having one helluva day.

Tavern On The Green
The Tavern is reopened in its newest and greatest incarnation as an open air food court and NYC visitor’s center. Think of the new Tavern as ski lodge for pedestrians, cyclists and inline skaters. With the leaves in Central Park changing colors right now and a crispness in the air you may get inspired to have a horse and carriage ride. Don’t so that tho’ because the smell of horse ass stays with you all day.

dpeezy

SHOPPING
This is my favorite part of dating a broad.

Big Box spots
After visiting Ikea the other night and learning that the swedish meatballs meal was $2.49 on Tuseday nights I thought that Ikea was the perfect home furnishings date. Make sure to bring your canteen so you can stock up on the unlimited refills of Lingonberry juice. Wal-Marts and Targets are also great spots to date shop provided your girl isn’t on her period because watching a chick selecting feminine hygiene products is always a little weird for me.

Farmers/flea markets
Like the NFL, Cuffing Season is a game best played outdoors. Farmer’s markets are great places to show a cuffing candidate (a cuffee) your value for organically grown produce and artisinal cheeses. In other words, fronting. Just grab a cup of cider and talk your talk. And if you see me at the Brooklyn Flea do me a solid and buy some of my shit.

dpeezy

DINING
I’m on a latin bender right now, Mexican, Colombian, Dominican and Chilean.

Chipotle
Chipotle stays winning for the simple fact they sell magheritas and understand that I don’t endorse tricking during Cuffing Season but if you gotta trick then at least get nice and use the empty margherita cup to refill with another beverage. I suggest the lemonade.

La Cabaña
This is one if my O.G. fave spots when I lived in Corona Queens. They got your pork fried pork if you ain’t doing the godbody hardbody.

Tierras Colombianos
Bandeja campesina. And that is all.

This drop isn’t being posted to help you get the smell of pussy on your fingers. You should already have that experience from your cuffing candidate. This post is to help you figure out if you like doing other things with your jumpoff other than just fucking.

13 Responses to “DPEEZY WEEKEND GUIDE TO CUFFING SEASON…”

  1. khal says:

    You hit the nail on the head when you said shopping. I don’t do much, but I be in grocery stores and shit. There’s always some kind of bitty out there copping towels or paint or some shit. Even the employees, the cute ones, are down for an eye screw or 3. Get your game up!

  2. you’re not the first one warning me about the winter need to snuggle with something good lookin’. these are depressing, I’m running out of time LOL. but very good tips. my usual spots are all outdoor so I need to remix my destination catalog.

  3. Anyone doing their Dontrevius Wenters BK History Tour should pork up at

    El Bohio #3 at 5th & 46th, just down the hill from DW’s practice court.

    Not sure #3 wields a machete quite as awesomely as the mothership on E. Tremont but if you can’t get up to the BX…

  4. 6 100 says:

    I live like a block away from Tierras Colombianos. It’s really like that, son?

  5. nerditry says:

    Shit, a trip to IKEA could be longer than any regular date. And you want me to hang out with old girl while I’m jostling a dozen swedish meatballs [||] around my guts? No one should be shocked when I have a sit down in one of those display bathrooms.

    I like to rock a small meal and then head to a show, especially a good comedy show. What she laughs at will tell me close to everything I may need to find out through long range methods.

  6. T-marT says:

    get a cellphone

  7. fredMS says:

    making cuffing season a priority is a good look

  8. Man, I haven’t had to cuff in (8) years (this Novemeber). Good luck & Godspeed, y’all.

    *wonders what wife is making for dinner tonight*

  9. Angela says:

    ha! I copped me some cider fromt the farmer’s market this morning. Didn’t see any cute guys tho.

  10. the_dallas says:

    ^ But ain’t you already cuffed tho’?!

  11. Angela says:

    ^ LOL DP why you tryna put my business in the streets? Sometimes a girl just wants to buy some cider and see some eye candy. It’s not a crime. 😉

  12. the_dallas says:

    ^ LOL don’t be grabbing no cider if you just spectating. Cuffing Season is not a game

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