I have to assume that you all have heard the story of JENNIFER WILBANKS, the runaway bride and former Georgia peach. It turns out that ol’ girl will have to pony up some scrilla for the county in Georgia that bankrolled the manhunt for her. As it stands now, homegirl is also facing indictment for filing a false report to the police.
Before we get into all of that let me just be clear. I think that she is a hero. She has single handedly demonstrated to America that women desperately need to get their freak on too. A few days before she was to be married she said to herself, “Self, we are about to spend the rest of our life with one penis and its not that good a penis either. This is our last chance to legally try that Mexican smuggler/bungee jump/menage-a-trois we’ve always dreamt of.” She threw caution into the wind and had a ‘banging’ bachelorette party. Now she gets
vilified in the media and is forced to wear the scarlet A. Had Ms.WILBANKS been a man instead he might be celebrated for his irresponsibility. We here at the weblog salute Ms.WILBANKS in her efforts to bring some kind of carnal equity to the table. You know, the whole goose/gander cliche.
The other reason that Ms.WILBANKS is now a friend of the weblog is because she did not follow the script that virtually every white uses when their ass is grass – “the nigger(s) did it!” Ms.WILBANKS initially said that she was kidnapped by Latinos. This to me is a watershed moment for the progress of African Americans here in this country. I put this up there with the Civil Rights Act of 1964. For over three centuries, Blacks have been the default boogeymen here in America. When a white would kill his wife, drown his kids or rape a jogger all he had to do was say – “the nigger(s) did it!” The villagers would get their pitchforks and torches and raze some poor Cliff Huxtable out of his bed, drag him thru the town square and then lynch him. Because of the valiant Ms.WILBANKS, the power of that phrase – “the nigger(s) did it!” has been made null and void.
That is… as long as the nigger(s) didn’t do it.