PIMPIN’ AINT EASY

velvet

Before the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences took the time to realize the pathos of the pimp, Hip-Hop had already expressed the anxiety-filled plight of trying to make your fortune off the ass sweat of women young and old.

For the uninitiated I give you the chorus and verse from esteemed crapologist BIG DADDY KANE. The title of this work is similiar to the song ‘Its Hard Out Here For a Pimp’, but this version is much simpler and more direct. Please enjoy, ‘Pimpin Aint Easy’…

big daddy

Anything goes when it comes to hoes
Pimpin’ ain’t easy, Pimpin’ ain’t eeeeeee-zyyyyyy (repeat 6x)

Well, I say… Extra! Extra!
Here is a bachelor comin’ straight at ya
I see trim and bag it, take it home and rag it
the Big Daddy law is anti-faggot
That means no homosexuality
what’s in my pants’ll make you see reality
And if you wanna see a smooth black Casanova — BEND OVAH!
Cuz I don’t half-step when it comes to broads
The K-A-N-E ‘ll go the whole nine yards
There’s no time for coversation my dear
[MOAN!] is all I wanna hear
So let’s make a move, as I get smooth
cuz the purpose I serve is to soothe
I’m tall, dark and handsome and all that junk
Even white girls be sayin’ “Ooh, Kane’s a hunk!”
Even Puerto Rican girls be callin’ me papi
Some try to copy, but they look sloppy
So imitators who wanna step to a
brother like me, lick my manure!

While that song was certainly enjoyable there is another song by one of the greatest mulatto statesmen to ever handle a microphone. ICE -T also crafted a ‘Pimpin Aint Easy’ song and he describes the benefits of the worlds oldest industry with an aplomb swagger. ICE-T isn’t just selling CD’s for the VELVET JONES School of Pimpanomics, he is living the lifestyle

Pimpin ain’t pimpin ain’t easy man (repeat 4x)

Take a look at me, everything I own’s iced out
Pimp baby, you can see my wrists with the lights out
This is how I do it, mad bitches and clothes
Godfather baby, only play to my rogues
Step back, hater make a little room for my hoes
Gators on my feet, take a look at my toes
Money is the reason all the real players know that
Godfather lays punks to rest
He got no chance up against the best
I rocks in the East and I rolls in the West
If you don’t dig the pimpin I could really care less
cause it’s, pimp or die, pimp or die baby

Pimpin ain’t pimpin ain’t easy man (repeat 4x)

G-O-D, F-A-T-H-E-R
Hoes start runnin when they see my car
Even though I’ma pro wrestling star
they know I, don’t play and I gotta get paid
Everything I wear baby’s tailor made
I come into your town and go off like a grenade
And anyone who steps on the mat they get laid
Let me pimp or let me die that’s the game I chose
Condos, speedboats, and beautiful hoes
Cartier wristwear, furs and gold
And mad cash baby too much to fold
cause it’s, pimp or die, pimp or die baby

ice

2 Responses to “PIMPIN’ AINT EASY”

  1. Miss Ahmad says:

    i gotta admit i kinda used to love big daddy kane. i also loved me some ice tee…

    six in the morning police at my door
    fresh adidas squeek across my bathroom floor
    out my back window i made my escape
    didn’t even have time to grab my old school tape

  2. Supa says:

    Ice-T is straight cornball.

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