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As I was reading the free newspaper that they hand out before you get on the subway, I caught an interesting editorial trick. In an article about the NYC policeman who was recently murdered, they made sure to note that the alleged assailant is Jamaican. This fact will presumably have no bearing in court. However, it appears that in the jury of public consensus this man is already guilty. This started me to thinking about what Caribbean island fields the gulliest, most gator batch of immigrants. You might be surprised, but Jamaica isn’t even in the top three, despite the fact that they can run a 200m sprint barefoot.

The Caribbean island with the gulliest would-be immigrants has to be Haiti. These fools have been known to sit on a single car tire and try to float to Florida. They have also been known to take that same tire, fill it up with gasoline, set it on fire and then place it on top of people during a political disagreement. Of all the knuckleheads that I know personally, dudes like HAITIAN MIGUEL and HAITIAN GREGGS are problem children.

The second gulliest Caribbean island is definetly Cuba for the simple fact that CASTRO has refused to join this American gravy train. Plus the Cubans do reederkulezz shiite to get on American soil. My buddy CUBAN MARK told me the story of his crazy father coming to the U.S. on a raft during the height of the missile crisis. CUBAN is one of the dudes most likely to hit you over the head with a raft when he and BILLY SUNDAY have been on a drinking binge.

Pushing the Jamaicans out of the top three is the upstart upscale resort island of Aruba. I mean, the island is only 70 square miles and they still haven’t found this broad?

This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 22nd, 2006 at 11:59 am and is filed under Black Bullshit, Social Upheaval. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.