I should probably be deferring this story to the HUMAN RESOURCE over at StartSnitching.Com because he runs a ‘Snitch of the Week’ post that is always some good shiite. But since I am on somewhat of a religious high this week after rolling a blunt from the palms that my girl brought home from her visit to N’Awlins last weekend I will give it a shot.
It turns out that JUDAS ISCARIOT may be some kind of hero. Only in this post-millenial culture would we be able to lionize the man who may be the single greatest snitch of all time. Try to swallow this Christians… JUDAS did exactly what JESUS asked of him. WH-WH-WHAT?!? If you are really into the Christian program hardcore then you have to subscribe to the notion that JESUS was GOD’s only son. Being GOD’s only son, JESUS had to have access to the playbook which had him getting crucified and then rising and then floating away on a cloud yada-yada-yada. The thinking of some of these new age scripture scholars is that JESUS instructed JUDAS to snitch on him so that he could fulfill the prophecy and save man. JUDAS didn’t want to do this because he and JESUS were hell’a cool. JESUS was like ready to put the smack down on homeboy and tell him that he was messing the whole Christianity movement up, but then JUDAS capitulated and gave up J.C.’s 20 to the Roman legion. Doing this broke JUDAS’ heart and the story goes that he offed himself something similiar to that guy on the ‘Sopranos’ who hung himself in his garage.
This new revelation about JUDAS drops just in time for Passover this week. The Gospel of JUDAS is purported to be the story of JUDAS and JESUS tight-knit friendship. There are hundreds of Gospels that have existed since after the death of JESUS. Most of them describe JESUS as an extremely charasmatic man, but definitely not divine. There are the stories that J.C. kept time with MARY MAGDALENE. Personally, I like the story about JESUS and the fellas smoking a lot of that sticky brown ground nah’mean?!? Hallucinogenic drugs can open the brain to some real trippy shit, but I wouldn’t suggest that you try any. Rappers with GOD complexes sell records. Regular (read:poor) people with GOD complexes = homelessness.
No way! I thought Peter was Jesus’ favourite.
Either way you have to figure, if Carlito could see everything coming then Jesus had to be hip. Does that make the soldier with the spear Benny Blanco from the Bronx?
In any event god is a single, white male, 99 years old from Brooklyn who doesn’t drink or smoke. Well according to his myspace site.
Damn fine JC Superstar reference. The gospel of Judas is going to be my summer reading and probably a case study of the world’s worst PR.