Back From The Future

Editor’s note: All praise due to Combat Jack for getting me two(2) bylines in the latest issue of The Source…

Were you caught up in all the hype of the release of the Nike Air Mag shoes nicknamed the ‘Marty McFly’ after the lead character in the Back 2 The Future movie franchise? The pricetag might have been somewhat prohibitive however if you work at McDonald’s, or worse, write for a living. But if Hip-Hop has taught us anything it has enabled us to spot trends in advance of their blooming so that we can get in on the pop culture action from the ground floor.

Who better than The Source magazine then to spotlight some of the trends which will take over the culture in the next few years. Invest in these trends now and by 2015 you can flip these off to your friends for a sizable profit.

2012 – Apocalypto Rap – The Mayan calendar ends in the year 2012 which also coincides with the birth of Jay-Z and BeYonce’s first child. Will this baby be the savior of the Earth or the messenger of death? Neither, but the child’s birth will spawn the subgenre of rap music dedicated to decoding the book of Revelations. If you think Jay-Z’s book ‘Decoded’ was a bestseller get a load of this joint called the ‘Bible’. No, I mean read the Bible.

2013 – Scarface 30 year anniversary – What in the world is more Hip-Hop than the movie Scarface? And what is more romanticized than selling drugs to people you live with because going to school or working to build your community is just too fucking hard? On the 30th anniversary of this seminal film in Hip-Hop culture we will see a rebirth of recreational crack cocaine use. You can either smoke it or sell it (trust us, sell it) but you had better buy yourself a whole lot of it now before the price skyrockets. Beam me up Scotty.

2014 – Illmatic 20 year anniversary – Something that is also very Hip-Hop is nostalgia and reminiscing on the good ol’ days. You know, the days you used to catch lightning bugs in jelly jars and ride your Big Wheel on the sidewalk, before you would have to sell crack to your neighbors. On the 20th anniversary of what most rap bloggers have determined is Hip-Hop’s greatest album we see a flood of CD’s titled in homage to NaS’ classic… Trillmatic from Bun B, MeekMillmatic, Pillmatic, and IllBillmatic. I even predict Sean Price will release Brownsvillematic which is actually his Mic Tyson album that was due to drop in 2010.

2015 – The reconstruction of the World Trade Center site is finally completed and Biggie’s line from ‘Juicy’ is permanently deleted from the song, lest the new WTC site get blowed the fuck up again.

2016 – End of the world – Kiss your sweet ass goodbye because its all going to end this year around the time of the WNBA playoffs.

4 Responses to “Back From The Future”

  1. xyz says:

    Seriusly WTF? i mean, this isnĀ“t funny anymore, can be bring NEWYORK BACK!?!

  2. McNulty says:

    Illmatic IS #1, shit changed my life

  3. ShonQuayShah says:

    i read and heard in the Bible that “no man knows the day or hour” but, it’s looking like 11:55 to me!
    smh, i cant believe the anniversaries of Scar Face and Illmatic…i feel old.
    i grew up in l.a. and believe me, i remember the B.C. (before crack) days fondly..
    happy thanksgiving to you and c.s.

  4. the_dallas says:

    Internets! ShonQuayShah is another DP.commenter from way back. Happy Thanksgiving to the Internets

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