dallaspenn.com

And don’t monkey around with the telephones either!

A shout goes out to internets veteran COMBAT JACK, who pointed me to this post via a stray shot from NAH’RIGHT dot com, DefJam doorman SHAWN ‘JiggerMan’ CARTER’s favorite place on the web.  This news story takes place right here in NYC and it shows you how powerfully synergistic the internets and the telecom companies can be when there is a young white women in distress.
The story goes like this…

Girl loses Sidekick phone device in yellow taxi. Calls phone to retrieve it ready to offer reward, but to no avail, she receives no response. Purchases new Sidekick device and restores network connection only to find that lost Sidekick is in use. The S.I.M. cards to the device(s) seem to hold all the info on a dedicated server which the device(s) owner can access for information. The person in possession of the ‘lost’ device has uploaded pictures and accessed the internets repeatedly. The owner of said device(s) contacts the doppleganger user and the hilarity ensues. There has even been a website created that tells the story in every detail.

Stealing a cell phone is so 1989. What monkey doesn’t understand this? Apparently the young monkey pictured at that website. For even more six degrees of separation trivia I realize that she lives across the street from the schoolyard park and baseball field that I grew up in as a child and where I coached for the Corona Little League with my dad.

So I reach out to my troops in my old ‘hood to see if anyone knows who this dumb chica might be because she has put herself in a world of white trouble. Stealing a Coloreds phone is one thing that you can do without too much of a problem, but stealing the electronics from a young blonde Manhattanite is like whistling at a white girl in Biloxi. Just ask GEORGE CLOONEY.

I am awaiting the final act of this melodrama to conclude with shorty doing a perp walk on prime time news. The MSM will tout it as an example of how the telecom companies and the internets are working together to protect us. Hopefully that will quiet all the noise about how Verizon, Cingular and the rest of those BellTel bastards sold our phone call and internet use records away to the highest bidders.

This entry was posted on Thursday, June 8th, 2006 at 2:25 am and is filed under C.R.E.A.M., Social Upheaval, T.O.N.Y.. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.