Fat Bastard Status For Under $5

billy sunday

This post is for all of you cats that can’t afford a bottle of Cristal, but you still want to ball out on your broke azz budget. BILLY SUNDAY is here for you player.

sugar blast

First off, hit up the A-rab deli for two bottles of Tropical Fantasy. They are 2 for .99cent. There used to be a ‘hood rumor that Tropical Fantasy was run by the Klan and it was designed to make Blacks sterile. They give you over 32grams of sugar for every 8 fluid ounces so that adds up to more that one fluid ounce of this beverage being high fructose corn syrup. I am not just going to be sterile but I will have diabetes in another month.

sugar blast

The next step is to go to Mickey Dee’s and order two double cheeseburgers and one small size fries. That is $3.25 in most parts of the world(NYC). Make sure that you tell the cashier that you want your sandwiches on the seeded bread (‘quarter bun’ is the heavy user lingo). After you have paid for your sandwiches is when you should ask the cashier to have the cooks put some Big Mac sauce on your sandwiches. Up until recently Mickey Dees never charged for this condiment, but lately they have been charging up to .25cent per sandwich. The way I beat this is by paying first and requesting the sauce afterward. Make sure you tell the cashier to cancel the ketchup. You don’t want any other condiments ruining the taste of your Big mac sauce.

sugar blast

Remove all of the french fries from the bag and place them on your tray in size order. Place the larger fries (potentaters) to the side whilst you nibble on the small fries (minutaters). Arrange the large fries inside your sandwich in between the two patty layers. Enjoy.

sugar blast

Yeah, this is one tasty sandwich, but if you really want to eat like a king lard ass then nothing beats a beer-battered, deep-fried, bacon double quarter pounder.

10 Responses to “Fat Bastard Status For Under $5”

  1. Robbie says:

    “There used to be a ‘hood rumor that Tropical Fantasy was run by the Klan and it was designed to make Blacks sterile.”

    That must be the same company that made Troop gear.

  2. Candice says:

    You could also have a fried twinkie for desert. All the rage at State Fairs Nationwide.

  3. prynsex says:

    “FUN – E”. You know black people don’t get diabetes, you know its called “The Shugga’s”.

    I don’t eat meat, but you can always substitute or add a bag of Sea Salt and Malt Vinegar chips to the burger to give it that x-tra “KRUNCH”. Make sure they are kettle fried too.

  4. Vik says:

    what about the 3 for 99 cent oatmeal cremes?

    brother needs desert. somethin sweet after all that salt

  5. prynsex says:

    Oh, and that beer battered concoction looks gross as hell. Was the bacon even cooked. I would throw the fuck up!…………I think I just did!

  6. Yo this blog is like a rewind of 1980-1990 NY.

    Tropical fantasy KKK rumors kid?
    Fries in the burger?
    I almost had to break out my Legos and get reminisce about those extra cheese pizzas they used to sell at downtown Brooklyn.

    These CAC (cracka ass crackas) are washing away all of NY.

  7. 911 says:

    That beer battered shit…wwhhhoooaaa…I bet it’s a big seller..like the chick says in the t-mobile commercial…haha..1

  8. Gee says:

    I just threw up a little in the back of my throat…
    Where is DTrain?????

  9. dr. breezy says:

    oh shit! this muthafucka referenced SNIGLETS!

    word.

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