When I had a girlfriend I used to start arguments with her just because. She was a really good girl except for those couple of times when she slept with the dudes that I grew up with, but since she was never actually asleep I really didn’t count those moments. I argued with her over other shit. Like the fact that she always placed the toilet cover down. I felt that if I had no problem keeping the seat down she could at least do me a favor and keep the cover up. That way I could pee right thru the hole in the seat. No problem. Because she was a generally good girl I could only start fights with her over trivial meaningless crap.
However, there was one big thing that she did that I couldn’t stand. She was ‘best’ friends with all her ex-boyfriends. I am not just talking about the generic e-mail or occaisional phone call type of friends, but the “let’s go out for drinks after ten p.m. on a school nite” type of friends. That and the fact that there was a sizable portion of her budget devoted to sending presents and crap to her ex-boyfriends’ families. Mother’s Day flowers are kind of sweet, but a $300 MaClaren stroller for a second cousin’s baby shower?!? What kind of bullshit is this?!? These dudes were not her babies daddies?!?(Real Talk is that she had no kids due to her frequent visits to Planned Parenthood during the time she was dating these fellas).
What emotional/physical/spiritual food do the ex-boyfriend/girlfriends provide that folks have to keep them in their life after the romance relationship has gone south? I couldn’t see the point. I am not friends with anyone that I used to date. As a matter of fact, I think that everyone that I used to date will rush out to the wine store and buy a bottle of 1982 Veuve-Cliquot just so that they can pop a bottle of champagne when they get the news that I have died. O.K. maybe not that drastic, but there will be hell’a smiles being cracked. This is why I couldn’t understand my former girlfriends obsession with remaining friends with her ex’s.
Her first argument for the continuance of these liasions was always that these dudes were her friends before I came into the picture and to ask her to divorce herself from these people was to take away a piece of her personality. These fellas were part of her growth as a person so for her to sever the communication was to act as if she found herself on her own. GAWD DAMN! I wasn’t asking her to throw away all of her pictures and her love notes!!! My point was that having an ex-boyfriend as an activity pal is bad fucking business. Oops, did I say ‘fucking’?!? Well that is what the fuck I mean! Chicks already have a leg up(pun intended) on fellas when it comes to access of random sexual partners but when a female has the availability of a familiar genitalia she is invincible.
How do you stop the two of them from hooking up? You can’t. She would be pissed off at me for yelling at her for not tucking the flat sheet under the mattress and then the next thing I know is that I have a voicemail on my cellphone telling me that she is off getting cocktails with friends(note to all readers: when someone leaves a person’s name out of the conversation it is always to fuck with your head) A month later it would leak out that she went to the Knicks game with her ex who just happens to be the president of promotional advertising at Geffen records. She knew how much I loved the Knicks because I would always put on my Sprewell jersey when the games were televised on MSG. For a brief second I had caught blood in my eye. I was Latrell Sprewell and she was P.J. Carlessimo. I won’t go into details because they are contained in a police report filed at the 115th precinct.
At this point in my life I realize that the first thing that I have ask a prospective new girlfriend is whether or not she is still ‘friends’ with her any of her ex’s. The very next question will be if she has ever pressed charges.
Lovely Billy, Yo I dont play with this friends are ex’s type ish. I had a girl who told me she felt bad cuz her ex was in the club and her and I were there together. So I told her you want to co-sign that dude why dont you leave with him and surely she didnt, after that I never had an issue with her over that ish. But I have had many girlfriends who have that aforementioned exboy now friend senario, I am not a jealous dude but that ish makes me uncomfortable.
HA! sucks to be ya’ll. in all honestly i kept some friends that i’d ‘known’ biblically until the real deal showed up. i cut them niggas off when i realized i didn’t want or need them as a crutch/security blanket. it was a loooooong time in the making though.
as ladies, when single retaining ex’s as friends is a good idea if you’re about keeping your sexual statistics down. when in a relationship it’s provides solace cause if this newnew act up you know a few dudes on speed dial that are willing to hold you tight and make it right.
while i’m a chick that never wanted for male attn i’m pretty sure i kept dudes on speed dial cause it felt good knowing you were always wanted by somebody and the constant affirmation feels good. a bunch of ladies are in denial about it, but i’ve yet to have a friend deny ‘light flirting’ between them and ex’s regardless of eithers relationship status. once the sexual line is crossed i dont think theres no turning back so that friends shit is just that. shit.
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great post dallas……..having an ex as a friend is a big no-no..tried it and doesnt work….lol @ “has she ever pressed charges”.
I have no need to keep souvineers of a failed relationship so the friends agenda is out…That is some deeply seeded control shit that I have no time or interest in…And for the record, I have never had to press charges!
I don’t think I ever ended a rlationship just because it didn’t work out right, usually it’s on some real effed up shit thats the cause(50/50 on whos fault it was). SO usual my breaks ups end up with some ones face on a dart board, so that lets be frinds shit is out. Now my first wife is on this shit where she callin my family members every so often even when she never got along with them when we were together. (I guess she’s trying keep tabs on me and if she hs chance). One day soon Imma merc the nappy head hoe bitch her
good post, but u should have cancelled that bitch from the minute she decided to have a fuk buddy
is dude still at geffen?
I didn’t even read the post I just looked at the pic and knew I should comment…sad really. I mean at least I’m keeping it real right?
another troof-ful post…my policy is if you’re my ex then that is the end of that biz. why the eff do we need to be cool? and if the bird wants to be cool wit her ex’s chances are you’re gonna need to choke-slam her later. or yell really mean things to her.
that bitch in the pic is hot, is that superhead? anyone know?
I have never been able to be friends with my exes–esp. not the ex-husband. He can eat shit.
@ whitedude, no, that’s not superhead.