It’s politricks as usual bitches, but this time it’s for the motherlode. The whole enchilada. The unsurpassable corner office. The transcendant(whoever uses this word after me should kill themself) boss of bosses. Yep, it’s all about the White House. For DP Dot Com’s first installation of the run up until Election 2008 we thought we’d highlight the superstars that have thrown their hats into the ring for office of president of the United States.
This trifecta features the former New York City mayor who is making a last gasp, last grasp at a return to political glory. The lustre on his forehead post-911 is starting to fade and tarnish. Presidential campaigns are nasty affairs so I hope that his son’s public drooling problem has been rectified. There’s also the foxy former first lady who brought sexy back to pantsuits like she was the blonde STEPHANIE ZIMBALIST. Nevermind the fact that she is a reverse carpetbagger from Arkansas, this lady is never hustling backwards. She’s learned the game from one of the slickest Willys to ever throw the dice. Lastly, is the campaign’s true dark horse, although some will say that he still isn’t dark enough. How does a junior Senator leapfrog over a dozen or more well known names. He learns to present himself as “articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy.”
Fuck all the rhetorical bullshit. I’m a simple American with simple values like life, liberty and internets neutrality. It shouldn’t be too dificult for any of the three scallywag oppurtunists pictured above to be better administrators than the man in office now. Unfortunately, President BUSH has set the bar that low. But I still need to make sure that I am making an informed and responsible choice when I step inside the voting booth. It’s times like these that I really miss not having one of my best resources available for consultation.
OL’ DIRTY BASTARD – R.I.P. RUSSELL JONES
What would Dirt McGirt do in this situation? Lucky for me I have a handy online Wu Tang name generator. The candidate with the most hardbody Wu Tang name is the one that I will cast my vote with. Let’s look at the results…
So without any catastrophic changes to her campaign strategy(read: skirts) HILLARY CLINTON will have garnered the votes of the mostly Black Republican staff here at DALLAS PENN DOT COM. Just as well anyhoo for GUILIANI and OBAMA since there hasn’t been a president elected with a vowel sound ending their last name. You could include McKINLEY and KENNEDY if you want, but they both got clapped on, and I’m not talking about applause.
My nickname is Bittah Mastermind….maybe I should run?
mighty wanderer…. nice!
I can’t get to the Wu-Generator at the moment. Anyone wanna do me a solid and see what Combat Jack’s Wu- name be?
Solid and funny assesment of the pre-presidential political climate DP.
B.T.W my Wu-Tang name is the Arrogant Professional
@CJ
Combat Jack = Ruff Criminal
Me, Bittah Commander
Violent Observer
Shuriken Commander…
You ever think that its pretty early for the mudslinging in this race? Like its almost choreographed to have the these two people (Hill & Barry) already feeding into the preconcieved notion some have that white chicks and brothers are irrationally emotional? Meanwhile the stoic, logic based white males are just bubblin’ in the cut like peroxide?
I like that!
When I grow up I’m going to get the Giuliani comb over.
Guisseppe Fux
^Wu Name
Dallas you see Pacman…….I say lets rate his Hardbodiedness…….
Follow Da Money.
http://www.opensecrets.org/softmoney/index.asp
X-pert Commander!
great post hahahaha, i’m voting repub though since i’m rich and white….guiliani would be fine with me but hopefully there is a better candidate that comes out…
TWD,
You just changed the game because I always thought that rich white dudes co-signed the elitism of the Dem party whereas trailer park families and inbreds held the Repubs down.
Looks like people are coming together again under the stars and bars.
The label of this post…had me dying…you’s a wild dude.
dallas,
well maybe its cuz i’m from TX, but typically i think rich whites vote repub if they are about their money, like all the people in the oil business, energy business, petrochemicals, stock market, etc. rich white liberals are usually those white people that think they are being better people by voting dem and think they are being more like “the common man” and thinking more of minorities when in reality they are just “limosine liberals” like john kerry was who talk the talk but don’t walk the walk, they are basically trying to act like they care about the poor when they are sitting in their limo doing it, which makes me have more respect for the rich white reps cuz at least we know what we are and aren’t lying to ourselves about it trying to act like we are something we aren’t which is what limo liberals do…in the end it comes down to reps want the govt to stay outta their affairs and money and business, stop taxing the rich to help the poor and other socialist type things like that, while dems want the govt all up in their bizness and money and want their money to fund BS govt programs that act like they are helping the poor and minorities when in reality they are flawed and don’t work and never will, trailer park families vote repub cuz they are too dumb to realize that the reps are working against them since they ain’t got no money, they still think its all about race (as alot of blacks do when they vote dem) so they think that if you’re white and racist you’re supposed to be repub, which is NOT how it is at all, in the end repubs are protecting the money and those in power while the libs are acting like they are trying to take down those in power when in reality they still want the same rich whites in power, just under a different name and mascot..if poor people were smart (which most aren’t which is why they are poor to begin with, or maybe they are dumb cuz they are poor? c. the chicken and the egg) they would all band together (white, black, all races) and make a third party that is truly for the people and the poor and minority in america and try to take back some of the power that rich whites have, cuz basically both parties in this f’ed up two party system that “amerikkka” has are for keeping those in power in power and don’t want the poor to ever gain power…now this whole time i’ve been saying rich whites when there are in fact rich minorities who vote repub and are all about the repub as well but there aren’t very many of them and most would agree that they have to “lose their blackness” to become repub or be a liberal who actually has power c. condoleeza/powell and obama, respectively. just my 2 cents.
@thatwhitedude
Much of what your saying is true especially about the creation or the collective support of a third party with a socialist agenda. But I think no matter what party you belong to as an American we do a dis-service to the country when we vote only within the party line we belong to and not for the best individual for the job. If you don’t think that white supremecy & institutionalized racism is purposley done to keep people powerless your part of the problem. I am liberal, I am conservative, I am a republican, I am a business man and I am black but before all those things I am a human being and I will not let money or anything take away my humanity and sense of brotherhood. I may not have a lot of money I never went to college but I do have morals, integrity and compassion….all things that money or education cannot garantee.
^ A true patriot right there