I am thinking of a master plan along with kitty cat. I suppose it’s time for me to grow up and get serious about being some kind of dude that writes shit. There’s only but so much that I can do for myself and kitty as a blogger. Real world writers don’t consider me one, and neither do journalists. It’s like bloggers are the Mexicans of the written word. No offense to all my Mexican blogger friends.
And why shouldn’t bloggers get the respect accorded to mainstrem media? Is it because we sit in our parent’s basement instead of a television studio? None of that should even matter. It’s just that I feel like we do the heavy lifting that newsroom editors get props for.
Do I waste your time with useless information?
Okay, but do I do that ALL of the time?
Alright, but don’t I at least write something decent once a week?
Once a month?
Maybe this is why I haven’t been able to break out of blogging. I suck ballsachs [ll] at writing.
Before I dropped out of high school I had an English teacher who hated my guts. She told me to kill myself. After I got my G.E.D. and went to college I has an English professor accuse me of plagiarism because she couldn’t believe the shit I wrote came from me. So I dropped out of college. I didn’t plagiarize that piece and I didn’t drop out because my professor’s didn’t believe in me. I left school because I didn’t believe in me.
The kid needed a pick-me-up this past week that I hoped would get my focus and attitude adjusted to finishing up my memoir about coming of age in the urban metropolis of NYC. I figured I would blow through one of my favorite buildings in the city to siphon off some of the energy that it has always given me. The American Museum of Natural History is a tremendous facility just from the standpoint of its exterior architecture. It invokes my earliest memories of American castlea like the mansions in Cape Cod and Newport.
Inside the museum it is simply an unbelievable head trip to see things that exist or previously did on this planet. The Smithsonian is of course the G.O.A.T. of this museum shit, but nothing beats the “pay what you wish” entry fee at AMNH. The first place you have to visit is the Hall of Biodiversity. Also known as the ‘Can’t We All Just Get Along For Thirty Million Years Room’. That’s where they have these exhibits of ocean life and a full-size model of a blue whale suspended from the ceiling. I had to go through to see my cousins the grizzly bears.
GOD created man the same way he made animals that is why some people resemble tigers and monkeys, some people look like birds and some folks smell like bears. I recognize my bear lineation from my ability to eat food off the ground and also the fact that I can sleep for several months in a row without pooping myself. Bears are also pretty resourceful as wild animals.
Nothing compares to the dinosaur exhibits in this museum though. I remember how big these animals appeared when I was a child. They aren’t as large anymore in my eyesight, but for whatever reason they appear even stranger now.
The flying dinosaurs are crazy. They remind me Terry the pterodactyl from Pee Wee’s Playhouse. I think of them as always smiling although there had to be some moments where a pterodactyl was sad, or at least melancholy. Now an animal with a smile is the O.G. shark. I believe it is called the sharkosaurus and if it isn’t then someone needs to copyright that name just in case sharkosauruses come back to life. Your attorney can subpoena them and be like, “You sharkosauruses owe us several million Paleolithic dollars.” Can you imagine the interest on that money now? I don’t think they used dollars back then, but if they did I wonder who was on the two dollar bill?
The point of this drop was that I was feeling sorry for myself for being a bum that eats tuna from the can along with kitty when I realized that the fish that I need to swim with are the sharks. Everybody loves Shark Week on the Discovery Channel. I really want to take my shit to that next-next but to do so I am going to have to go in deep. I may drown myself with emotion.
Shit can get so real…
yo we all go threw it d just hold ya head and k.i.m !!!! if we can survive the bull shit we whint threw as kids in the 80s/90s we can kick this shit in the balls.lol but real talk peace. hale meg
I got on your blog by accident and it’s the only personal blog i ever added to my rss and i read it regulary now. Keep up the good work
Aussie Open Update: Tune in right now to ESPN2.
Classic match going on, Lleyton “Lawnmower Man” Hewitt v Marcos “Cyprus Hill” Baghdatis.
5th set just started. The match is already the latest match in Grand Slam history, as it’s 3:48 am Aussie time. What The Fock.
I especially know how you feel on this one. All throughout school people were pushing me to be a lawyer or some other shit you need eight years of school for…I was gonna be an emcee and that other square shit was dead. I went away to Morgan State and hoped my crew would blow up and once they did, I’d drop out and come home for the push so we could get signed to a deal. That dream died after the Telecommunications Act was passed.
The Indie Hip Hop Era (1997-2000) was me at a bunch of bullshit jobs trying to get people to listen to my demo. I could’ve been writing all that time, Stress, On The Go, Ego Trip, Mass Appeal, Blaze, etc. all still existed and instead of trying to get on then I was happy working in record stores and video stores. Then came Napster. LimeWire and Netflix…them days is done.
I didn’t take writing semi seriously until 2003 (and then I only did it online). Why people don’t take us seriously is beyond me since I think some of the best written shit I’ve seen over the past three years was written by “bloggers”…if your blogs are published in book form, then what does that make it then? People are on some bullshit. Writing is writing and you’re one of the best in the game, Dallas.
One.
haha d this post smells like purple cush! oh and dont doubt your writing. okay, just to help your ego out a bit…. how many people that read your site DAILY are excellent writers in their own right? now you tell me if your audience is or isnt a reflection of your skills.
Dallas
we all have those moments of self doubt. On some real shit I have been rejected from over 75 litigation attorney jobs. I am racked self doubt but you pick yourself up and move on. You come from the city of 8million stories, we all got one, we all struggle. I know the words of some random reader doesn’t carry much weight. But I check for your new post everyday. It is part of my daily routine. We all want recognition for our work but the only person you need to satisfy is yourself. Your writing is insightful funny and unique to you. Do what you need to do and then get back to it.
Peace
Is that story true? I mean the one about your time in school and college? If it is that’s fucked up. And you are a good writer, or at the very least an entertaining one.
I disagree that you suck at writing. Even the vocabulary you use at times made me look at myself (and I thought I was kind of brolic with mine!)
Nice insightful piece. We all go through it. You’ll get past it. I quit my temp job after my boss told me I “spoke so well.” I wanted to Nat Turner that bitch but I quit instead. Had to keep it moving.
You’re a great writer and inspiration to lesser bloggers like myself. Things will turn around.
Live every week like it’s Shark Week (word to Tracy Jordan)
Dallas,
FUCK THE MAINSTREAM! Perhaps you and a few other intellectual bloggers should be the shakers and movers that makes a way for new writers.
And your commenters are absolutely right, the readers who frequent your page on the daily are probably excellent writers themselves.
Man the fuck up and evaluate what you DO have. You’re no Peter Jennings but you have the voice of the people. Expand your brand… Fuck what White says. What should keep you motivated is the feedback from the people, not some fucktards who tell you aint shit without published work.
Word up Dallas. Take the weggie out ya ass and keep on blogging. Don’t wait for doors to open, take them shits off the hinges!
Dart,
You used to be a member in the Ill Community, right? Heavy knowledge brotha… Very heavy.
@ Marvelous Mo:
Sure was…I was even the moderator of Hater Free and ran the “School Me On Some Hip Hop” thread for almost two years. The redesign killed ALL of that.
One.
Dallas, you are one of the best writers I’ve ever read, and to the extent self-doubt fuels your activity I selfishly hope you never lose it. Still you’ve been grinding non-stop as long as I’ve known you, and the volume on top of the quality is mind-boggling. Compliments are transitory — you’ll appreciate this for a while and forget it someday. But you’re generous, so you’ll pass it on to someone else… and that will eventually boost you again. Thanks for reminding me of the animals.
DP…you already KNOW you’re one talented motha. Self doubt always rears it’s head when you are about to make a major change in your life.
Getting engaged, getting older, a high school reunion around the corner…
it makes you sit back and reflect. Very few of us are happy with where we are. Playing armchair quarterback with your own life is always easy as shyt. What if? Should, would, coulda.
Forget all of that….by all accounts….you should have already been a statistic. Dead, in Jail or strung out. You are none of that. Instead you are a survivor. Keep ya head up and recognize that the sky’s the limit for you every day that you wake up. Here’s to tomorrow.
The high school English teacher I ever-so-lovingly refer to as “The Witch” accused me of plagiarizing what I felt was one of my best pieces of high school writing – a research paper on the Mafia during the Prohibition era. I could have smacked the racist ass bitch.
Especially when she took it upon herself to make it her personal mission to prevent me from graduating. Seriously. True story.
Fuck a high school English teacher.
And fuck so called “educators” who push their own personal biases onto their students, and grade children lower purely for not sharing their beliefs.
Since we’re on the subject of animals, peep crocodile vs. water buffalo vs. lion. GULLY.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LU8DDYz68kM
We’re all having mid life crisis.
Stay Up Dallas.
We all struggle with this and it really helps to have a network of people you trust and know are on the same grind as you. Remember to surround yourself with people who are on your page or on a few ahead of you – never behind.
And remember fame is fleeting and an illusion. Just Do You and everything else follows. I’ve been bragging about you for years already. Just Don’t Stop.
I haven’t written a blog since Xmas. Maybe it’s that time of the year for Libras. If somebody knows the zodiac, hit me up with some answers. Did something in the weather change?
Honestly, I think it has something to do with the music and the arts. Great writers always do better when great things are happening (The Harlem Renaissance). Coming up with new ways to write about gloomy, depressing shit can be great for readers, but it’s not always fun to write. Right now, there’s not much good shit going on that’s readily visible. But things change slowly sometimes, and rapidly at other times.
Who knows. Knowing how my mood shifts, hopefully I’ll be in the midst of a creative bender this time next week.
Survive the drought; I wish you well.
Word to my unfinished script and the interviews I’m supposed to do for City Paper.
D…there is absolutely nothing wrong with your writing (except for the ‘Shit’ drops you keep doing…), it was a couple a years ago when I was doing some research and happened by this site, I haven’t stopped coming. Your writing style brings the reader into your life, something most writers could never accomplish. Some of the things you write about bring me back to what I was doing when your story takes place. Again, most writers never accomplish this.
Youre smart, a great writer, AND youre down for the kitties?? Oh you can call me up anytime youre in the DC area!
🙂
L