I got 99 problems!
For more than a decade I have begged all my friends to rename August with me. The new name is BLACK HISTORY MONTH part II. It seems only fitting that Black History Month should be the time of year that the weather gets as ‘African’ as it possibly can. I am sweating so much that I need to find a men’s room every 30minutes just to wring out my underwear. Black people are all out and about going to free concerts and getting their summertime freak on.

This seems like a perfect opportunity to me to inject a little history and knowledge of self into the atmosphere. Like for instance, did you know that the custom of pouring out ones malt liquor is an ancient tribal custom of honoring the dead? I am not sure what the purpose of tapping the bottom of the 40oz. means, but I will find out.

To begin my celebration of Black History Month part II this year I would like to honor Black women. You sisters have fought hard for the community and you have made countless contributions to American culture. No matter how many pairs of SEVEN FOR ALL MANKIND jeans these Hindabi girls buy, their booties will never be as round as my sisters. White girls have definitely come up on the bumbum tip but they are still lacking when considered for the luscious lipness qualities. Spanish girls… well, I’m sorry sisters, but spanish girls have y’all beat bodywise, but their inability to learn basic english
makes communication impossible. HA! Black girls win again!

In honor of the most beautiful women in the world I am going to see one of the most beautiful singers ever tonite at a free concert. MISS PATTI LaBELLE will be at the SeaSide stage in Coney Island. And you know she is going to get all ‘kick off her shoes’ emotional now that fat LUTHER is dead.

Leave a Reply