DALLASPENN.COM: It’s Ya’ Birthday! Who The Fuck Cares?!?!?
I am in a totally shitty mood right now. On my way home from work I watched the subway conductor dehumanize a disabled passenger by calling him ‘wheelchair’. As opposed to mister or even mister wheelchair. The conductor also argued with another passenger who he instructed to move from the area that was to be occupied by the wheelchair passenger. I guess the conductor was fresh out of niceties for the day because he was steady pissing everyone off.
When I exited the subway I was greeted with the screeching catterwall of some woman arguing with someone while she was on her cell phone. As she cursed the person in a style that is unimitable save for ‘Angry Black Women’, she upset my stomach. It was like the wail of a harpie. Her pitch was so high and shrieking that I begun to lose my balance. If there were any dogs close by I am sure that their ears would have bled.
Finally, inside the relative peace and tranquility that is my apartment and of course there are phone messages to listen to. Unfortunately, none are from family or friends wishing me a happy new year. This new year begins much like years past as I try to figure out a way to escape this mountain of debt and depression. At least I have you good folks. You guys keep me from even considering T.O.’ing up in this bitch. You humps better buy the book when it drops.
Anyhoo, if you want to do something nice for the kid today do me a favor and put some change in the cup of a homeless bum. But for the grace of GOD, there go I.
September 28th, 2006 at 3:55 pm
It sucks having a crappy Birthday! I say you break out the tequilla and call up your Chocolate Snowflake and play “Border Patrol and Illegal Immigrant”.
Cheer up Dallas. And have a Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
September 28th, 2006 at 3:55 pm
Happy Personal New Year…For some reason I think it’s not as happy for dudes. I know more than one, including myself, who’d really rather sit and mope than have people singing at them. I hate when they sing at me. Enjoy…as much as possible.
September 28th, 2006 at 3:57 pm
Keep ya head up, dude. The internet got your back (no RICHARD SIMMONS). Let us know what’s good with that book.
September 28th, 2006 at 4:34 pm
^Dont get it twisted, I would rather be naked, drunk and stoned, but I had to work today. I’m not always such a big baby its just a man period I’m having. C.S. has some eyes wide shut ish planned for me so let me make sure I put on some clean drawls.
September 28th, 2006 at 4:42 pm
happy birfday foolio
may all your christmas’s be bright!
September 28th, 2006 at 4:42 pm
Snap out of it.
Happy birthday.
September 28th, 2006 at 5:02 pm
Happy birthday man…I feel you,my birthday’s on monday and I’ve got those blues myself…stay up…on a brighter note the blog is still dope as always.
September 28th, 2006 at 5:16 pm
I already said on your myspace joint but happy birthday DP. My birthday earlier this month consisted of working during the day and going to class at night. It was pretty shitty too, but once you approach 30 (or in your case have already broken it) birthdays kinda suck anyway.
Cheer up dude…look how many people are on your shit…you got what? 500 myspace HB messages? Tila Tequilla herself would be proud
September 28th, 2006 at 5:50 pm
Don’t worry Dallas…that list of people who need to get their du-rags snatched off will illuminate your day lol…
RD
September 28th, 2006 at 6:02 pm
by the way, this comment you left made my day…go get em Dallas
…..As a Bagger Vance nominee I’s don’t need no thanks from the massah
Comment of the Week
RD
September 28th, 2006 at 7:15 pm
Keep ya head up.
September 28th, 2006 at 8:17 pm
D –
Happy Born Day, Brother!
I’m stuck working in Chicago right now.
I’ll call a brotha later.
September 28th, 2006 at 8:37 pm
Happy birfday dude.
September 28th, 2006 at 8:53 pm
Awww, sweetie…so sorry to read that! I’m lookin’ for the opposite and that you had a fantabulous day, not a bummer! Damn those yankees!!!! Oh, wait… what?
Oh, do me a favor and IGNORE the person who suggests that 30 is a brick wall. I passed 30 a long time ago, and I KNOW for a fact that ain’t the road to bland. It can’t be that unless you let it be.
September 28th, 2006 at 9:13 pm
Happy Birthday D.P….keep your head up!
September 28th, 2006 at 9:40 pm
Happy Birthday…hope u get whatever sneaks u wanted for it!!
September 28th, 2006 at 10:20 pm
Happy Born Date My Negroid!
September 28th, 2006 at 10:51 pm
Ah yeah, I made it with 10 minutes left in the day…Happy birthday dp!
September 29th, 2006 at 6:55 am
Happy Born Thunnie…
Ghetto Big Mac’s with a candle on them in honor.
If anyone is feeling very fresh for ’88 then join me in raising a 40 for a toast.
September 29th, 2006 at 8:07 am
Happy Earthday…….go roll in and up some grass and call it a day.
September 29th, 2006 at 9:10 am
Happy belated Born Day homie.
September 29th, 2006 at 9:22 am
Happy birthday D!
September 29th, 2006 at 9:41 am
2 shots of patron and a drunk hooker for u on me any time any place!
September 29th, 2006 at 12:37 pm
Shazam…I am late but I brought a frosty bottle of Cham-pale. Whatcha’ say?!?! I owe you tapas in the “A”…we celebrate real big!!!
September 29th, 2006 at 4:08 pm
Late but not forgotten Happy Born day, my dude…
September 29th, 2006 at 4:57 pm
Big up yerself Jah Lion!!! Blao!
September 30th, 2006 at 4:25 pm
Damn man, that’s a fucked up Born day. Had a few of em myself up to last year which is why I’ve resolved to spend however many following ones I’m blessed with in bed or a strip club.
Happy (belated) Birthday and to more enjoyable future ones!
October 1st, 2006 at 5:49 pm
Its all good DP it can only get better…….I hope. We gotta throw a party next year.
October 2nd, 2006 at 1:45 am
happy belated DP
September 28th, 2007 at 2:24 pm
it just keeps getting better man