In our never ending quest to bring you thought provoking material we at the website have come up with a new ghetto celebrity game show not unlike the wildly unpopular BeYONCE Factor. The new game show pits ghetto celebrities (A-list up to U-listers) against each other in a variety of categories. The ghetto celeb with the most points wins the match while the loser is booked on the AALIYAH / NATALEE HOLLOWAY charter flight to Aruba.
For our first installment we bring you the Ghetto Celeb Whore DeathMatch between TYRA BANKS and KARINNE ‘SUPERHEAD’ STEFFANS. These two ladies have become recently intertwined due to a radio interview in which SUPERHEAD called TYRA a ‘Hollywood Hop’. She also said that her journey through the entertainment business hasn’t been much different than TYRA’s except for the fact that TYRA’s fifteen minutes are still ticking where as SUPERHEAD may have come and gone (pun ALWAYS intended). Give TYRA some credit though because whomever she sucked off she made sure that she was left with a pot to piss in so that she WOULDN’T have to become a snitch.
So here’s the rub. We call out categories and then compare the contestants. The winner of the category is awarded 100 points.
1) Celeb List Rating (A-U) – TYRA has been steadily lingering amongst the B- and C+ list crowd for several years. Her acting ability has been shown to not exist so don’t expect to see her in too many more feature films unless she is playing the character that dies first. SUPERHEAD is just a straight up F-list celeb because she will FUCK you on the promise that you will get her some real work and give her some cab fare.
winner = TYRA
2) Confirmed Jumpoffs – TYRA has been seen with a veritable All-Star team’s worth of NBA players from ANFERNEE HARDAWAY, to RICK FOX, to recently CHRIS WEBBER. JOHN SINGLETON smashed TYRA and she even made SEAL turn to white chicks. While SUPERHEAD’s only confirmation is the crapper KOOL G RAP.
winner = TYRA
3) Rumored Jumpoffs – Here’s where things get interesting… TYRA has rumors of TIGER WOODS, MARK MESSIER and the sneaker pimp MICHAEL JORDAN. The rumor mill for SUPERHEAD is so deep that my boy who works for video director LIL’ X as a sound engineer told me that he was just hanging out at a shoot for CHRIS ROCK’s ‘No Sex in the Champagne Room’ and everybody got to have sex in the champagne room.
winner = SUPERHEAD
4) Porn Video Appearances – I have masturbated to many a Vicky’s Secrets catalog featuring TYRA and the Victoria’s Secret Lingerie Show could be considered soft-core in a pinch, but SUPERHEAD is in several videos and I saw the one with her and Mr. MARCUS (no homo)
winner = SUPERHEAD
5) The Intern Rating – With the contest deadlocked we turn to our staffer who always has the dice on hand when we want to play a game of see-low. THE INTERN tells us that in order to receive the name SUPERHEAD, Ms. STEFFANS had to do more than just suck some balls and swallow afterwards. She had to turn these men out and the only way to turn a man out when giving him head is to stimulate the nerve endings on his prostate gland. The ONLY way to do this is thru the anus!(extra JIM JONES ‘Harlem’ no homo)
DAAAAAAYYYYYYUM! SUPERHEAD is gully as shit.
And the winner of the Ghetto Celeb Whore DeathMatch is SUPERHEAD!
damn! that is good reading.