I was a little dismayed when someone called me up and accused me of starting a ‘race war’ on the internets. Okay, so dude was joking, but he wasn’t. All my white internets friends haven’t been speaking to me since I dropped a post from internets legend, COMBAT JACK, airing out the Village Voice music critic TOM BREIHAN. The truth is that COMBAT JACK and I are fans of this dude’s blog. There is a space and place for it in your daily reads when the dude isn’t treating Hip-Hop music as if it’s an urban jungle safari that isn’t worth the time to navigate, because it’s so hard out here on a writer.
Knowing that this writer has a wit and verbosity that he reserves only for particular reviews made us question how he chooses to approach certain material. If someone isn’t going to fully engage themselves in the criticism of other peoples’ artwork then what purpose do you serve as a critic. Dealing with art and maintaining an arm’s length distance is either being aloof or being scared. COMBAT JACK called me up and let me know how he felt…
 |
COMBAT JACK said “Yo fam, you read that dude from the voice saying that Pitbull is better than Nas?” |
| DALLAS PENN replied “BREIHAN?!? Lies!!!” |
 |
|
COMBAT JACK said “Word to mizz fam” |
| DALLAS PENN replied “It must be sweeps week over at the Voice.” |
|
|
COMBAT JACK exclaimed “That neggar don’t talk sideways like that about SuperChunk!” |
| DALLAS replied “Yeah, but you know how they do.” |
|
|
CJ ended “Yeah, privileged…” |
Now everyone’s panties got all up in a bunch because they say that the word privilege is code for white. No. The word privileged is code for privileged. And what that means is that someone has been granted the means to exist in a reality not based on merit or acheivement, but rooted in the time honored tradition of having a connection in the corner office. People were upset that COMBAT JACK brought this to the light. Isn’t it obvious when you have a writer who flagrantly disregards a genre’s foundations that it’s probable the writer doesn’t have the assignment because of their acumen on the topic? COMBAT JACK smelled pussy, and he called it. So now the word was spread through the land that people were being attacked because of how they looked. The truth is that was NEVER the argument at hand. The argument was that with privilege unearned should come a measure of respect for what was and what shall be. In any case, the people with pussies on their foreheads rang the alarm and declared racism against people with pussies on their foreheads…
 |
PUSSYFACE #42 said “I tell you that this COMBAT JACK did call me a pussyface. He said that pussyface people were ruining the planet. He said other racist things as well. He said that I couldn’t use the word ‘afro’ even when describing someone’s hair. He also mentioned ELVIS PRESLEY at some point. RACISM!” |
This only further misconstrued the argument as a high speed broadband game of instant message rumors became an out of control animal, there was the story within a story within a conoundrum, threatening to fracture the already loose coalition of pussyfaces, keyboard thugs, Onanists, and shock writers patroling the internets. In what was certainly an incredible event, one of the internets infamous bloggers sent an e-mail to himself…
| BILLY SUNDAY said “I don’t know COMBAT JACK, but I know DALLAS PENN and I can tell you that he is not a racist. However, he is a bigot with bad credit. Under his breath I have heard him say things that are unmentionable in this forum of polite ladies and gentelmen. Especially when referring to… Pussyfaces” |
 |
And to further fan the flames of web discontent even more, XXL’s very own superstar blogger, BYRON ‘BOL’ CRAWFORD had this to say…
 |
BOL said “DALLAS PENN himself was offered a position here at XXL commensurate with his value to Hip-Hop. I saw the contract with my own eyes. The offer was rescinded when we found out that he was a racist, with bad credit.” |
There was almost nowhere for me to turn now that my name had been further sullied and my reputation laid bare and naked much like Mexican call girl I banged in an apartment on Roosevelt Avenue in Corona. I think english may have been her third language. Like the media assassin he is, COMBAT JACK has moved on to other targets and the rest of the blogosphere which had been so thoroughly up in arms had now returned to it’s normal constellation and swapping nude photoshops of PARIS HILTON’s cooch.
Just another weekend on the internets where the public criticism of a virtual hero becomes a racial quandary and witchhunt for a blogger just seeking the truth.
stay up dallas.
speak your mind. that’s why we come here. no whitewashing.
pun intended.
save the national geographic for the voice.
PEACE
Money I’ve been apart of something like this (not on as big a scale). Anytime you mention anything about a white person and something that has been within 10 ft. of black people, race is people seem to see. Especially white people. I’ve noticed that many seem to be looking to point out ways they are being discriminated against. It’s like the feel as though they’ve become second class citizens and no one notices. In the same way as many figure that since no one in our generation has personally been a slave or a was alive during segregation (even though it’s only been a decade since I understood why my grandparents made a big deal out of taking me to the counter at Woolworth’s) that we should never mention it and all is right with the world now.
Man fuck it.
Your stock is rising with me mang.
keep doing what you do dallas and combat jack. yall def ain’t racists, and this is coming from a white dude.
PUSSYFACE #42 looks like my boy, hes got bad eyesight.
“So now the word was spread through the land that people were being attacked because of how they looked. The truth is that was NEVER the argument at hand.”
— seems right considering the blackface pictures!
for me, it comes down to nothing more than this: if you’re going to write about hiphop, know your shit. the fact that breihan doesn’t know or respect this crucial rule is an indication that he doesn’t truly respect the culture, and no matter what, hiphop was and will always be a black american cultural artform. a white guy like me can emulate any culture all day long, but i will never be a black american; furthermore, i have too much respect for myself to try and be something i am not. we have all seen the white guys emulating black guys in hiphop culture, and guess what, it’s lame. just like the best that have ever done it in the game, they fit neatly within the culture but they brought their own flavor. i am a white english lit student, worker, father, writer, and skateboarder and i fucking love hiphop. i have since the moment i heard it and i always will. a writer like breihan is entitled to his opinion, and an audience member like myself is entitled to never tuning in.
i will keep tuning into dp.com.
^^^^^^Vik, to borrow a line from Mr.Kamoji… begs no friends
“It must be sweeps week at the Voice”…that’s just brilliant.
And really nothing gets me happier than a House Party reference…why don’t they make movies like that anymore.
This is the place to come for intelligent debate. Punto.
okay, i get it. you hate white people. fine. i come to dallaspenn.com and hang out with all the folks, hoping to gain acceptance, but never again.
good riddance
sordid puppy
p.s.
does this mean i have to stop biting your style?
dammit.
Fuck that cracka ass cracka
Whey even address this issue? I say F*ck em. Bigots with bad credit rule.
and that picture of you and your boy at camp is hilarious….where do you find this sh*t?
awww dp, they just mad that you and cj blew up their game. what’s funny is the automatic assumption of the word privilege as a descriptive term for their whiteness, which only proves the point more. classic.
Are they scared that you may possibly take over?
Is that even the issue here. Just wonderin.
Sounds a bit pre-menstrual syndromish to me.
I just can’t believe people take some of your commentary or Bol’s blog that serious.
It’s not that deep. And for those people commenting on your comments on Tom Breihan’s reviews, really need to find something original to write about. What’s news to one person isn’t necessarily necessary news to another. There could and is another story to write or critique. There are a couple of Dallas Penn and Bol imitators out there. It’s kind of pathetic.
If someone feels that Lil Wayne is the truth. Then he is the truth. Whether or not I agree, really doesn’t matter. Right now I prefer to listen to Donny Hathaway. And I think Dre(Outkast) dropped a poignant verse on the ‘Walk it Out’ remix. I know a couple of people who think Dre is straight garbage. And they do not know why I like Aceyalone. Whatever, it’s not that serious. It’s just people expressing their own opinions, nothing special . . . it’s just a blog.
Stay up Dallas . . . this blog entertaining, informative, and some times trite. But I come back for more.
hate to play captain save a cracker, but, isn’t pitbull better than nas at making club music? wasn’t that what his post was about? i mean, i’m sure you owe me and oochie wally knocked for, that week or so, but when ime tryna holla at a dominicana mami w/the culo grande, pitbull comes through.
i don’t think i’ve ever heard nas at magic city or strokers. pitbull? heavy rotation.
Don’t trip DP. J™, official founder of “White for Dallas Penn”
We don’t care…them dudes gon’ do what they won’ do newayz..I applaud Combat Jack, “exposing writer-faking-jax since the 2000’s”…
The little kid in the stripes got cut up a minute after the photo was taken?
^ Oh shit, I’m slippin’ . Didn’t notice the blade holmes was carrying.
daaaaaaamn.
that pic takes on a whole new meaning now. i didn’t even SEE that blade.
too funny.