40 Says… “Free PARIS HILTON!”

pinktoe paris

Editor’s note: An open letter to the Governator regarding 40’s favorite pink toe poontang.

FREE PARIS HILTON
Dear Governor Schwartzenegger,

I understand you had your reasons for not commuting the sentence of Stanley “Tookie” Williams, a wise old head at Shawshank Penitentary once said that “The worst thing you can have in here is hope” and if you gave OG Tookie a pass then you would have given dangerous hope to the masses of black and brown warehoused in your state’s prison industrial complex. No fret Guvie-Guv, some people you just “gotta” keep off the streets, I mean the Feds just sent up the old head out here in NY for life because they couldn’t get him the first few times they wanted to and he was giving people of similar ilk hope also. (Hold your head ‘Preme!). Sorry Your Governorness I didn’t mean to sully the integrity of this letter with a shout out but you know how it gets sometimes. You gotta say what you feel, I agree with you I too think Latinos/Latinas are hot blooded people also (except for De La Hoya last Saturday). But let me get back to the issue of national importance at hand.

I’m here to ask you on behalf of America that you please pardon Paris Hilton from her sentence of 45 days. Paris ain’t built for your jails and you should know this since you get the monthly DOC reports and know whats going on in there. Even though she’s the perfect Aryan and has the “n-word” down pat, she’s not as handy as Martha Stewart to fashion a shank for protection and might get hurt.

Your Governorness please have some mercy and pardon our dear Paris from this horrible sentence and spare her the agony of the correctional system. I don’t think you understand that America needs her, what is US Weekly, In Style, and the rest of the fag-hag-rags gonna do with 6 weeks of no Paris coverage? Where will the oversexed female youth of our nation go for inspiration? Do you know the impact this would have on the minature furry pet industry in the country? The shelves of PETCO would be rife with unbought doggie sweaters and iced out collars. Louie Vuitton doggie bags would be empty from Rodeo Drive to 5th Avenue. Also, as jobs for unskilled workers in this country go the way of the Jennifer Aniston’s relationships, all we have left of the American Dream is the hope that other people with out any discernable talent can become a celebrity like Paris, Nicole, and Sanjaya. You as a German immigrant who was able to get his piece of America through lat-pulls and gutteral sounding acting roles and flip that into governor should be more sympathetic as anyone. Sending Miss Hilton to the hoosegow sends a message that derails the same dream that allowed you to succeed. This could truly the crush the spirit of this country and that Mr. Governorship would not be “hot”.

So please see it in your heart Mr. Schwarzenegger to pardon Paris. Don’t listen to that cold steel metallic “Terminator” heart, but that warm fuzzy “Kindergarden Cop” heart. I mean whats wrong with a little drunk driving amongst rich folks? Do it for Paris, do it for America, do it for the children. Responsibility and guilt are for those “other people” not for an angel like her. I mean have your heard her album? I cried when I heard it just like she did. She is America and to lock her up is to lock up America and helping the terrorists win – and we don’t want that?!?!?!

Thanks in advance…

Your rottweiler for the pink toes,

40 Dawg

pinktoe paris

18 Responses to “40 Says… “Free PARIS HILTON!””

  1. Candice says:

    While I am glad that Paris chooses to wax……I hope she enjoys doing her time. The whole issue is funny but damn, how many times can she drive drunk or with no license? If she had run someone over, what then?

    Give Pookie in Cellblock B a shout out for me! That’s HOT!

  2. sasha says:

    HA! that IS hawt!

    ahnuld’s austrian me thinks, just like adolf. that silly bitch paris doesn’t get it, nor will she get it after serving 39 days. what she will get is some steaming hot ‘scissoring’ a la ms garrison and thats just what that used and abused cooch needs. (winces)

  3. dubble13 says:

    Is that picture fa’real? My goodness…

  4. Eloheem Star says:

    The Free Paris Hilton T Shirts would be a quick gold mine. Pink Tank Tops with Glitter letters. Computers computing. Cha Ching.

  5. pdcrack says:

    Paris got that camel toe forrealz

  6. Fbombs says:

    how the fuck she don’t feel the breeze on her bruised cooch lips?

  7. Dj RaYz says:

    Twat did you say? Daymn, free Paris 4 the Winz! But if she stays in Jail, she could make a new pr0n video with the guards!!! MmMmm

  8. jen says:

    What exactly is going on in between her legs? Are her panties shoved into her gaping hole of a vagina?

  9. Amadeo says:

    I hope a big white woman with tattoos name of Bertha makes Paris her bitch and they video tape it.

  10. 40 says:

    ^^^LMAO… I’m actually hoping that she does get pardoned so America can realize the cult of celebrity worship that its become and hopefully there is some uproar. But more than likely America will pity her like they did Lizzie Grubman and Robert Downey Jr….

  11. zillz says:

    everybody gonna go adabisi on that ass.

  12. Paris Hiltons lesbian cellmate patiently waits says:

    That’s what I have to work with……………No problem.

  13. prynsex says:

    I hope the infirmary has a 39-day supply of Valtrex.

  14. Lennox says:

    see i never understood that shit. how you gonna wear a dress and no draws. what about that discharge that comes drippin from the “snatch”? how you gonna stop that from hitting the floor?

  15. prynsex says:

    ^ it looks as tho she has a half stick of “cotton stop” shoved up her twat. That stops the “discharge”………….but in her case, knowing she takes a daily dose of Valtrex, I think it would be more like stopping “pus” from the puss, rather than “discharge”.

  16. 40 says:

    I would love to see the celebrity roster of who’s mollywhopped that poontang.

  17. Tony Young says:

    I believe we should allow this miserable excuse of a bleached blonde slutbag to really examine herself and get her empty sh*t for brains head out of her tight a$$hole to see what a waste of flesh she is.

    I hope this c*nt flashing whore gets gang raped by every moustached hairy-legged dyke in her cell. The only way special treatment she should get is the first night in the barrel when the guards stick their throbbing penises down her throat until she begs for more. After all, it seems to be her only talent. The only difference between this little bitch and a jar of peanut butter is you can’t spread peanut butter in the back seat of a Mercedes. I hope the judge takes her over his knee and pimp slaps her a good one.
    ty

  18. Perhaps Paris will have a grimy cellmate that forces Paris “to toss her salad”.

    Quite effin disgusting. Maybe would teach this Douche Paris that ish is real in the field. Real life is not a bitchmade reality show.

    Whatup Sasha! I know you despise these “professional spare heezos” as if they were a despotic dictator. Pls join in & pile on this Paris ethering.

    I have a feeling that you Sasha will issue an epic Schiavoing & daughtering on this douche Paris.

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