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A special prize goes out to the person who guesses correctly the number of phonebooks that KanYe is standing on in order to look Curtis directly in the eyes.

Well today is the day cRap Music Moguls. The day we have all been waiting for. The clash of teh ghey titans goes head to head [ll]. Not that way, but then again who the hell knows how freaky these egomaniacs are. One thing is for sure, the only way to beat these terrorists is to spend some money. If you don’t put yourselves further into debt we could all end up chillaxin’ with Tupac and Biggie. Hopefully they have a pool out back.

The cRap Music Fantasy League is entering the home stretch for the third quarter and it has become a horse race for essentially five label owners provided Mitchy Slick doesn’t do anything too crazy like a triple murder suicide. That would earn him and his label owner iFUX a lot of points. Don’t get any ideas either FUX, without you on your blog grizzly where would I get to see all the iCandy of the hottest broads from UniVision?

As the quarters are about to end the blue chip, sureshot superstars always stand the fuck up. R.KELLY is getting all of label owners their points. Jay-Z opens a new 40/40 Club and whoever was smart enough to put the ‘old head’ on their roster is benefitting from that move. Let’s not forget your girl Foxy Brown, who manages to remain a point scorer without even releasing a note of music. The big story this quarter is all about Fisty Scent and ‘Ye Tudda. These two will both close out the Q3 scoring with platinum albums thanks to the hype machine that Universal Music Group operates. Let’s listen to a few songs from the WonderTwins latest albums…

‘YE TUDDA – ‘Flashing Lights’
Put on your rockstar shades when you bump this joint.

FISTY SCENT – ‘Gun Go Off’
Put on your bulletproof vest ‘cuz they shootin’! NSFW

Here’s a look at all the label owners and their scores, read it and weep bitches…

Gain Green Records 5600
Krack Ko Kaine Entertainment 5350
Grand Theft Audio Records 5100
DubbleUP Entertainment 4850
America Done Fell Off Records 4350
Rook Records 4275
Blue & Creme Entertainment 4050
Sheem-Deem Entertainment 3975
Pretty Dollar Entertainment 3925
Combat Jack Entertainment 3925
Flatline Records 3925
20/20 Proof Records 3800
Deaf Jam Records 3750
Incilin Productions 3600
Rainmen Records 3550
GnomesayinTambout 3450
Bamboozled Records 3375
Smart-Dumb Rappers Records 3300
Brick Productions 3250
Cool Cash Collective 3200
Ambulance Entertainment 3175
626 WreckChords 3125
Yes Baby Yes Entertainment 3075
BlackStar Records 2975
Diamond Ballers Records 2900
Harleyworld Music 2825
Quarter Water Juice Records 2775
Game One Records 2725
11206 Records 2675
Roscoes Records & Waffles 2575
Bodega Records 2550
Renegade Records 2475
Windbreaker Records 2425
Bulletproof Records 2400
NYC Records 2350
Dead Presidents Records 2325
Derailed Records 2075
Avant-Garde Records 2075
R.adabing I.ntontanton P.roductions 2075
Da Wig Snatcherz 1950
Paperclip Records 1950
Mental Calisthenics Records 1850
Cloud Nine Records 1850
Chaos Records 1725
Likwid Tangs Music 1575
I Fux Entertainment 1450
Buffoonery Recordings 1125
Fingered Records 1075

I put together a few graphs to chart some of the specific info that was gleaned from the scoring this quarter. Shouts to El Gringo Colombiano for creating the spreadsheet that powered the cMFL.

Money Points > Notoriety Points
The pie chart above shows us that Notoriety Points were nearly one-fourth of the total points earned this quarter. Thanks to Remy Ma blasting the shit out of her former weedcarrier/wigbrusher and Foxy Brown just being her 7-30 self there was a good number of points to be had from rappers acting bad. Not bad meaning good, but bad meaning bad.

Regional Points
Here we see a bar graph that describes to us which regions were the heavyweights in the cRap Music Fantasy League. The West coast should go kill themselves by ghostriding their whips off the Golden Gate Bridge. How the hell are y’all gonna get pwned by international cRappers? Mitchy Slick, you got the whole Westside on your back player. It’s time to go in hard or that chick M.I.A. will have you beat. And that party people, would be fucked the fuck up.

Teh Ghey Titan EgoMania
Some of the best artists mask their insecurities behind a facade of zealous self-assuredness. Fisty Scent was always a cocksure entertainer, but ‘Ye Tudda’s ego has gone out the roof to touch the sky. Somebody please get this man a spaceship.

There’s still a few weeks left in this quarter so it ain’t over ’til the Black lady sings. Here’s two more tracks from the saviors of Hip-Hop music. Fisty Scent wins this round easily because MARY J. BLIGE >>> Coldplay’s CHRIS MARTIN.

FISTY SCENT – ‘All Of Me’ (featuring MARY J. BLIGE

‘YE TUDDA – ‘Homecoming’ (featuring CHRIS MARTIN)

This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 11th, 2007 at 5:50 am and is filed under BeYONCE's Hair, Billy Sunday @ XXL, Black Bullshit, cRap Fantasy League, Crappers, Ghetto Celebs, No Boutros Boutros... Ghali. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.