I’m Rich And I Pitch, Biatch! (Writer’s Strike Re-Runs)

the rocket

How in the world do you tell a child from any walk of life not to cheat or do drugs when all they can see is the reverence and honor bestowed upon these talented drug abusers in the major leagues of baseball?

ROGER CLEMENS has set himself up to receive $9,000.00 for every pitch he throws in a major league game. I normally enjoy STEPHEN A. SMITH as much as a migraine headache, but he blew up the Rocket in this column here(no pink wooden bats). Imagine if O.J. Simpson tried to get away with golfing all over the place like the Rocket does?

Okay, that last question makes no fucking sense whatsoever, but you are still reading this blog aren’t you?

If you are among the people that think that ROGER CLEMENS hasn’t doped his blood, please kill yourself at the next intermission…

the rocket

7 Responses to “I’m Rich And I Pitch, Biatch! (Writer’s Strike Re-Runs)”

  1. Chris says:

    …Not to mention Roger Clemens is one of the most overrated players (next to A-Rod) in recent memory. Dude has an absolutely terrible playoff record/statistics and would not have won his Cy Youngs nor pitched this long without the juice. Indeed, whoever doesn’t think this dude has juiced should kill themselves since it specifically says he did in the Snitchell Report. What a fraud.

  2. Billy Sunday says:

    What!?! Mark McGwire was only placed on the “rumored” list??? GTFOH!

    Peep the list…

  3. thats a lot of steriods

  4. evan says:

    I coulda gotten rich following the dealers around with my patented mix of Enzyte and HGH. Dr. Fingers’ Small Balls Cure woulda sold like hotcakes to these shrinking violets.

    Everything that Roger has done since leaving Boston now has a strikethrough.

  5. Billy Sunday says:

    “Everything that Roger has done since leaving Boston now has a strikethrough.”

    ^ Don’t stop there. That would be cowardly.

    Delete all the records for baseball period.

    Delete the records from segregation baseball.

    Delete the records from morphine(painkillers) baseball.

    Delete the records from amphetamines basbeball.

    Admit that you are living a lie and give the aboriginal Americans back their land.

    Or…

    Do nothing and keep complaining about individual statistics.

  6. evan says:

    As long baseball (not just MLB) don’t even recognize Sadaharu Oh and Josh Gibson, who the hell cares about the stats?

    I can’t go giving my land back to the Seminoles & Mickosukee because like the other 95% of us I don’t own shit.

  7. Billy Sunday says:

    “I can’t go giving my land back to the Seminoles & Mickosukee because like the other 95% of us I don’t own shit.”

    ^ Damn. True.

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